


Stranger than the Wild

by kiddattwell



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Female Friendship, Multi, Slow Burn, Threesome - F/M/M, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-14 06:54:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 63,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5733823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiddattwell/pseuds/kiddattwell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The war is over and Sasuke is home for good, but Sakura can't choose between the boys she loves. Sasuke still has his demons and Naruto still fights them and Sakura still follows them both, but this time down a path that none of them expected.</p><p>Takes place pre-epilogue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I wrote chapter one and part of chapter two in one go and it wasn't until I was editing that I realized that I was confused about an event. The attack on the Allied Shinobi Forces Headquarters, when *spoilerspoilerspoilerinoandshikasparentsdiespoilerspoilerspoiler*
> 
> The HQ, in my mind, was in Konoha. And I assumed lead to a massive, blown up Konoha. It did not, but let's pretend it did so I don't gotta redo some plot points.

Uchiha Sasuke drove his last nail into a beam that would soon hold the roof over his head… at least when his head was in the living room. He felt nothing as he worked. This house would serve as the new Uchiha headquarters and he thought that hammering it together himself might make him feel something, but the truth was, even if he was living in a cave or a tree, it would still be the new Uchiha headquarters.

Still, he’d chosen the location of his home carefully; not so far into town as to be surrounded on all sides, but not as removed from the village as the old compound. No matter who came into power, they wouldn't be able to forget he was there, watching for corruption.

On the street, a pair of newly promoted chuunin, no older than fourteen, corralled nine or ten academy kids toward the new training ground. Only a month ago they were still in three man teams under the care of a jounin, not even above getting scolded by civilians if they got too rowdy. Now they were helping to shape the next generation of ninja.

There was a lot to keep an eye on.

"Teme! Are you done yet?"

Declining to turn his head toward the figure in orange he knew was standing in the open gap where his front door would be, he answered, "Does it look like it?"

"It looks done-er than mine. I'm still living in one of those tree houses that Yamato-sensei summoned."

Yesterday, Naruto had dragged him to see the doors-less, circular wooden room carved out of the trunk of a massive tree about five stories off the ground. With no small excitement, he explained how Rock Lee lived in a hollow above his and Sakura was only two trees away. 

"You should request a hollow, too! It's like camping,” Naruto explained, waving at his pack and sleeping bag on the rough floor of the hollow, “But for a long time and with everyone you've ever known!"

It was a combination of that, and the emergency barracks he had been sleeping in along with twenty other people, that made him decide to begin rebuilding immediately.

Sasuke jumped down and Naruto came over, hopping over piles of Konoha red pine wood and sliding around on brackets and loose support studs. Having nothing else to do without first going to the supply shelter, Sasuke stood and waited for him to state his business.

"Come out tonight. Another restaurant reopened and I'm taking Sakura-chan and Sai and maybe Kakashi-sensei and Yamato-sensei and Iruka-sensei. And Shikamaru and Chouji live close to it, so they might be there. And"

Sasuke waited for the blonde to stop talking long enough to take a breath. When he did, he replied, "Why would I want to do that?"

Naruto grinned, "You said you wanted to be involved in everything happening in the village-"

"Politically-"

"Then don't you think it might be a good idea to remind everyone how close you are to the future Hokage? You know, for like, political reasons?"

Naruto had a point and he knew it.

"If I’m around too much you might not be able to keep the title of “future Hokage”."

Naruto snorted and swaggered back toward the entrance, knowing he had made his point.

"Just remember to wash up. Maybe hit the clothes bank. There's plenty of underwear still!" Naruto shouted from the door.

Sasuke scooped up a handful of brackets and slung them at him, but Naruto had broken into a run after the underwear comment and was halfway down the street. Not that he would get much farther if Sasuke wanted to chase him- Naruto couldn't walk more than a few yards before he was accosted by old ladies or kids or fatherly looking men that wanted to pat him on the back- but there’d be too many witnesses.

**** **** ****

Sasuke walked into the restaurant and almost turned around and walked right back out as Naruto's shout of glee erupted across the room. 

He had watched friends die, watch the village that he had wanted to preside over get destroyed, and had fought Sasuke in earnest, putting his life at risk. Was nothing traumatic enough to put a damper on Naruto’s enthusiasm?

Trying to unclench his jaw, he turned toward the direction of the shout.

Naruto was turned around in his booth, waving him over. Already facing him was Sakura, who managed to look sheepish, but also pleased, and a pale boy with dark hair who, after a half seconds glance, he already disliked.

It wasn't the first time he'd seen Sakura since the battle, but it was the first time she hadn't been working or ordering someone around, or had some pretext to keep up the appearance of civility between them. But in a purely social situation, he wasn’t sure what to expect from her.

It was annoying to have to think so much.

He walked over and slid in the booth beside Naruto. As he felt himself sink into the booth, he realized how close he was to Sakura and the boy. Was it just an extra small booth or had it just been too long since he ate at a table facing another person?

He looked around to kill some time. The restaurant was crowded and filling up by the minute. The walls were paneled with two different colors of polished wood which he could now admire after working with wood on his new home. The waitresses were cheery civilians; everyone still seemed to be on a post war high. When one their table, he noticed her double take, first at Naruto, then at him, before settling down to take his drink order.

He was beginning to question the whole concept of eating with other people. He had done that sort of thing before he left the village, but it was hard to remember himself back then. In the present, he couldn't imagine why anyone would want to sit across from another person and watch them eat for fun.

Naruto threw an arm over his shoulder and he tensed away from it, but Naruto clung on, seemingly oblivious to his discomfort, "I made a bet with Sakura-chan that you’d show, you know! She owes me ramen as soon as Ichiraku opens up now."

"Hn," seemed like an adequate reply.

Sakura smiled and he thought there was something a little fake about it. Whatever. It’s not like he didn’t feel awkward too.

"This is Sai,” Naruto said, his voice still incredibly loud and incredibly close to his ear, “I think you've seen him on the battlefield, but I don't know if you ever met him for real."

Sai blinked at him with the same smile he’d been wearing since Sasuke had walked in the restaurant. He had a vague memory of staring down at him at some point, but nothing else.

"It seems likely that you and I will get along since we appear to share many of the same categorical personality traits," Sai said, surprising everyone.

Sai’s smile and cheerful voice were starting to grate of his nerves. He had to fight the urge to frown when he asked, "What traits?"

"I'm not sure, but there must be several since most people of our mutual acquaintance call me 'replacement-Sasuke.'"

Naruto and Sakura's smiles froze on their faces as Sasuke stared at the boy. Was he trying to start a fight with him? He tried to shrug Naruto’s arm off his shoulder, but it was locked into place.

"I had always hoped that they were referring to physical appearance only though. Otherwise, it's like they were calling me a trai -"

Sakura slapped her hands over Sai's mouth and threw another one around his waist, pinning the boy’s arms against him.

"Sai!" She tittered, "Maybe now is not the time to test those fancy new social skills out!"

Naruto coughed out a laugh, "Sorry, Sasuke. Sai's a little weird."

"He's just now learning to socialize. He was taken in by ROOT at a young age," Sakura explained quickly as she slowly loosened her hold around Sai's mouth and he began to speak again.

"But I've been reading and-"

"You are too literal to read books! Forget about the books!" Sakura shouted, her hand inching back toward his mouth.

At that moment the waitress came with drinks and Naruto reluctantly loosened his grasp on him, probably to keep from knocking them over if he struggled. As she was setting down their drinks, Sasuke saw Sakura whisper something in Sai’s ear. The strange boy closed his eyes and nodded while his smile grew a tiny bit bigger.

It wasn't long before more of his academy class began to show up. People he hadn't seen since the preliminaries of the chuunin exam were suddenly all around him, joking and happily arguing with each other. Some of them just stopped by the table, smiling at Naruto and sort of grimacing at him.

But the worst was sitting across from him. With his fake smiles and awkward speech, Sasuke was more offended than he knew he could be that this was his so-called replacement. Even worse was how Sakura and even Naruto coddled him. Yes, she punched him and put him in a head lock when he called her hag, but just as often she was patting his shoulder or hand, while gently correcting him like a child.

If that was the guy they were comparing him to, he would show them immediately that he was nothing like that smiling freak. He didn't need any coddling. And he wasn't socially awkward either. Just because he chose not to speak didn't mean he couldn't.

However, as much as he wanted to prove himself, there didn't seem to be any opportunity. Everyone jumped around from one frivolous topic to another, seemingly without end. And all they wanted to talk about was the past, which he vowed to put behind him; not that he’d shared any memories with anyone besides Naruto and Sakura anyway.

But even if he’d wanted to, Naruto was reminiscing with the equally loud dog owner, Kiba, and Sakura laughing about something with Ino, who ignored him completely, not even saying hello, and Sai. Though Sakura did still shoot him a few sheepish smiles as Naruto's conversations grew louder and longer and more and more people began to crowd around the table until their waitress finally decided it would just be easier to pull up another table, and then another.

The first hour was tolerable. The second was beginning to wear him down, despite the break that came with the arrival of the food. But when the food was gone and everyone looked like they were settling it for a nice long sit? Kakashi was still rumored to make an appearance and he was sure that his arrival would make an opening for him to leave, but it seemed his former sensei still had amazingly bad timing and Sasuke was going to have to figure his own way out.

To his right, a girl he barely recognized with her hair up in buns was laughing again. He stared at her until she noticed and looked back at him.

She leaned back a bit when she met his eyes, "…What's up, Sasuke-kun? Do you have to go to the bathroom?"

He wasn't going to tell a pathetic lie, but he also wasn't ready to give up his resolve to be less socially awkward than Sai and just fight his way out of the booth.

He'd settle for a slightly less pathetic lie.

"I was planning to go to the supply shelter before it closed."

To his relief, no one commented on the time, pointing out that it would definitely be closed by now. Naruto just whined a bit as the girl, another boy, and Aburame Shino (whose name he distinctly remembered for some reason) moved to accommodate him.

He nodded at Sakura and Naruto's goodbyes and turned his back on the stilted farewells from everyone else. 

He walked to his half-finished house more confused than he had been in a long time. There was more than one reason he had wanted to wait for Kakashi tonight. 

Though he was loathe to admit it, he remembered every word of Kakashi's warning from before he left. And even though he had disregarded his advice, he had a feeling that Kakashi might be sympathetic to his current state of mind and wouldn't be bad to have around as a social buffer.

It was just like the annoying copy ninja to back off when he actually wanted help.

Not that he wanted to admit to that kind of weakness anyway. If he was going to have a say-so in the village, he needed to convince people to not revile him, which meant he was going to have to learn to deal with people again. He didn't have to be Naruto (if that was the case, he would give up now and attempt another hostile take-over), he just had to be less... himself.

It was mostly people his age who hated him anyway; while the older ninja were able to give him some credit for helping in the final battle and were generally more sympathetic, he realized the ninja from his own class mostly only remember his betrayal. He suspected that Naruto was the primary cause of this, since he had been preoccupied with chasing him down ever since he left and Naruto’s way of the ninja meant shouting his goals at the top of his lungs as often as he could to anyone who would listen.

Sasuke sighed. He was just going to have to deal with it like any other kind of training.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my GAH, the slow burn has begun! I was like, this will be easy, two or three chapters of set up, then smuuuut. But no. I write a first chapter with an almost completely apathetic Sasuke. Sigh...
> 
> I'm going to rotate my chappas between the trio, so the next one shall be Sakura!
> 
> Also (writing this a few days after I’ve written chapter 1 and 2) I finished the manga! It was almost there when I was writing this! Woo! However, I assumed *spoilerspoiler*sasukeandnarutowouldworkthingsout*spoilerspoiler* My story is obviously not going to follow the ending perfectly, but some things seem to be similar. Woox2!
> 
> Anyway, this is the most author noteyness you'll be getting from me. Sorry it's so long. As with everyone who writes fanfiction, reviews feed my sad, sad soul. Alms... alms for my soul...


	2. Chapter 2

Sakura slid open the curtain that doubled as her front door to let her feet dangle while she brushed her hair.

Yamato-sensei was averaging about a city block a day, but it would still be weeks before the temporary tree houses were made redundant. The circular rooms were pretty small and bare, leaving room only for some essentials- a sleeping bag, her tools, and basic clothes. There was also a small pouch of goods hidden in her bedroll which were strictly contraband, but there are perks to being close to the Hokage by way of quality shampoo and conditioner. But for the most part, she had gotten comfortable in her round wooden cave, despite the splinters and the lack of privacy, and she would be sad when the temporary houses went away. It would be like coming back to reality after spending a couple months at grown-up summer camp.

Two holes under her, she was sure Ino was having a lie in. Across the way, she saw Rock Lee begin scaling up to his door, at least six stories off the ground. She watched as he ran the first forty feet or so, then used kunai to climb the rest faster than most people could run. Below, people were coming and going under the shade of the giant trees, even a few civilians delivering boxes to a nearby supply shelter.

There was no money and a lot of good will going around at the moment, but Tsunade had told her that they were only a week away from removing the ration on groceries (not that it mattered much to Sakura, who tended to cash in all of her daily rations at once at the few restaurants that were functioning again.)

A lot of civilians had gone to stay with relatives in towns that hadn't been destroyed, like her parents. They were staying with her grandmother in the country side where things weren't so stressful. But honestly, she was glad she had a good excuse to stay behind and watch.

She stood and tossed her brush on her sleeping bag behind her then patted herself down, since there was only so much adjusting she could do without a mirror. She only had two sets of clothes, so it’s not like she could make any adventurous outfit choices, but it was a little nerve wracking to not even be able to see her face before she went out. Lamenting the loss of the travel sized mirror she always used to use on missions, she walked down the tree, closing the curtain behind her, until she reached Ino’s room.

She threw the make-shift curtain aside, the same way Ino did to her, except usually in the middle of the night as opposed to early afternoon.

"Iiiino-chaaaaan," she drawled. A lump in a sleeping bag twitched.

Sakura bounded over to the lump and gave it a shake, "Good-mor-ning."

"...away... Forehead..."

"I'm going to Naruto's. Do you have plans?"

"Nnng," she answered, her face suddenly appearing from the bag, "Got plans with Shika. And Chouji. Gonna be depressin’ though."

Ever since their parents died, Ino had been talking with Sakura about her reservations about reuniting with the old trio as all they tended to do was make each other sad. Even Shikamaru, who was usually careful with his feelings, walked away from their meetings with an end –of-the-world expression.

"I think it's only hard for them when I'm around..."

"Nonsense. It's only like this because the reality is still too sad to deal with. The awkwardness is just you all’s way of avoiding the grief,” Sakura said carefully.

She had to be careful about how she talked about parents and how much she ran her mouth. More and more, her peers were becoming orphans while her civilian parents lived out their peaceful lives. Naruto and Sasuke never seemed to notice it, but that didn't mean other people weren't sensitive to it.

Seeing no change in Ino, she said, "Well, if you're meeting them sometime today, you better get up. I'll see you after.” She gave the girl in the sleeping bag an affection nudge with her foot before leaving. She half walked, half slid down the tree and jogged over to Naruto's.

When she walked into Naruto's curtain-less room, he was nowhere to be found. They usually woke up at the same time, due to some old, Team 7 psychic connection (although it seemed that was as far as the connection went), but for him to leave even before she even woke up, it must have been important.

Naruto's circular room already looked like him and she suspected he was enjoying the summer camp atmosphere of their current situation even more than she was, as surrounded as he was by playmates. All of his belongings were strewn around the room. A quick look in his mission bag showed that he was the recipient of more than a little contraband as well, but that was likely from villagers.

She sat down on his sleeping bag, ready to wait. She knew he’d be back soon. The academy was seriously short of teachers, so they had plans to head over and see what they could help with. A few minutes passed though and soon she was no longer sitting, but sprawling out on the soft interior of his sleeping bag, which he had left spread wide open. Naruto’s bag always smelled like dirt and grass- not unlike Naruto himself. Soon she was being lulled to sleep by the rhythmic sound of Rock Lee counting out his push ups…

"Ah! Sakura-chan!" 

She bolted awake, only to see a half-naked Naruto hastily adjusting his towel as Sasuke watched from the door with vague amusement in his eyes, unless she was just imagining it. She never knew with Sasuke.

But more importantly Naruto! Pretty close to naked! His lean, tan thighs and long, built torso seemed even moreso in comparison to his tiny towel. She barely noticed the muddy bundle in his hand.

A moment of silence, where he was probably waiting for her to say something, came and went before she realized it. Also, she was staring at his thighs.

Careful to fix her eyes on his face, she asked with as much indignity as she could muster, "Why are you naked?"

"Well I didn't expect you to be hiding in my blankets, for one!"

"Well, I... Got tired while I was waiting!" She said as she stumbled her way to the entrance and sat down, adding, "You're awfully modest for someone without a door!"

"Well, most people aren't lying in wait to peep on me."

"I wouldn't be so sure, what with your current popularity."

"Humph. Well, I don't mind, as long as it's you, Sakura-chan."

"As if."

"Hm."

Sakura barely heard Sasuke's small input to the conversation.

"So what were the two of you doing?" Sakura asked, staring out at the trees, but this time her mind was thinking about tan abs and thighs more than the coming and going of her comrades.

"Destroying the training ground, mostly. Sasuke wanted to train this morning and after, since we were going to the school, I thought we should wash up."

"But why aren't you wearing your clothes?"

"If I put those clothes back on there wasn't much of a reason for me to take a bath in the first place!"

Sakura heard a zipper and turned around. Naruto was in black pants and fishnet under-armor. The only set of orange clothes he had were in a muddy bundle on the floor. There was something different about him when he was in black though...

Naruto beamed his cat like grin, "You're blushing still, Sakura-chan."

"Please," she flipped her hair and willed the blood down from her face, "I'm a medic. I've seen far more than that.”

Naruto's eyes narrowed a bit more as he leaned closer to her, "Oh? So what are you blushing about then? Hm? Hm? Hm?"

"Naruto!" As usual, Naruto was too caught up in his teasing to dodge, but she only shoved him. He flew all the way back into the wall and caught himself with a yelp. Sakura thought she saw Sasuke begin to say something, but by the time Naruto had started whining, he had already closed his mouth.

She quickly chided herself for watching Sasuke so much. It was like nothing had changed in that regard. Sometimes, she tried to tell herself it was because he was her enemy once, but she wasn’t fooling anyone with that lie, including herself.

But even with Sasuke seeming to shadow Naruto everywhere for the last two weeks, things weren't getting any less strange between them. She never quite knew what to feel around Him. Everyone seemed to blow off her battlefield confession. Not that she blamed them. Even she was beginning to lose track of the times she lost her cool over Sasuke and blurted out everything she felt.

In the heat of the moment, everything she said was entirely true. But of course, now that the moment was gone, she knew that, while the core of her feelings might be that simple, under normal circumstances, things were a little more complicated.

Naruto had earned her loyalty and trust and if she was asked, in a rational moment, to choose between them, well... There wasn't a choice.

There might be a part of her deep deep down, along with whatever was left of her inner-self, that would always want Sasuke. 

But she was more honest now. She didn't have to vent to her impulsive Inner-Sakura because Outer-Sakura was running her own life. And she knew as much as Naruto deserved her affection, she knew that she also deserved to be loved. Preferably by someone who actually had emotions. Besides, it wasn’t like she was forcing herself. It wasn’t exactly hard to love Naruto.

She walked over to him where he was dusting himself off over dramatically. She picked up a crumpled black, half sleeve shirt from the floor and shoved it roughly over his head.

"Hey!"

"Hurry up, dummy, and let's get out of here. You're coming too, Sasuke?"

After a moment he nodded, and glanced behind her to Naruto. She turned, but whatever look he and Sasuke were sharing was gone. Naruto grinned, putting his arm casually over her shoulder and reaching out for Sasuke with his other hand.

"Let's go show those brats what it takes to Konoha shinobi!"

 

************

 

"I'm beat!" Naruto cried, hanging himself over the table, then glancing around with a frown, "When is the ramen stand gonna open up again?"

"No idea," Sakura said. She was only slightly disheveled as they had broken into a rotation with Naruto on taijutsu, Sasuke on genjutsu, and Sakura on medical jutsu and survival skills. While Sasuke had been frightening effective, she was worried that he might have been scaring some of the students out of being their best. He did seem fond of one little boy though, who, with a serious expression of his own, ignored Sasuke's aura of authority and managed to accomplish genjutsu on his partner several times.

But the real star was Naruto, who decided in the end that each child should have one on one training with the help of his Kagebushin jutsu.

"They were pretty focused today," Sakura said idly, "Much more than we were as academy students."

"Well, a lot of them are from ninja families. They're probably extra motivated after everyone came back with war stories."

"Or didn't come back," Sasuke said.

"Did you have any favorites, Naruto?" Sakura asked quickly, before Naruto's expression fell.

"Yeah! That one boy, who was encouraging all the others!"

"Habuna!"

"He needs to focus more on himself if he wants to succeed," Sasuke said.

"Nah. He just needs a rival. He's got too many friends."

"Isn't that why the three of us almost failed Kakashi-sensei's test? You were too focused on yourself and you were too busy trying to compete with Sasuke?"

Sasuke looked a bit scornful at the reminder, but Naruto leered at her, "And why did YOU fail, Sakura-chan?"

Sakura kicked him under the table and he whined, before adding, "Oh, but I liked that baby Sakura, too!"

Sakura knew who he meant. A girl with long pink hair and red eyes. She hadn't really stood out; she had been pretty reserved for a kid, actually. But she was the only one with pink hair.

"Usako. She's the one who needs a rival."

"Or a love interest," Naruto said, waggling his eyebrows, "Maybe we could set her up with Sasuke's favorite, that kid that with good aim and the genjutsu skills-

"Tohru," Sasuke said.

"Don't you dare lead her down that road. It's better if she finds her own strength," Sakura declared, then realized her voice was a little too loud.

There was a long silence between the three of them. She could kick herself for projecting so much on a kid and kick Naruto for stirring things up. Why was it so hard to avoid the past?

"Love's not the worst reason to do something, Sakura," Naruto said in an over-casual voice.

Love is the only reason I'm not throttling you right now, Naruto, she thought, but instead she saw an opening to change the subject.

"I guess it's better than perversion, which was the core of all your early techniques!"

"Hey! Sexy-no-jutsu has worked, time and time again!"

"I hope that's not what you've been teaching my students!" Iruka said as he appeared at their booth.

"You should be glad if that's the worst thing they were taught with Sasuke over here pulling them into who knows what kind of genjutsu!"

"I will not be glad!" Iruka said, bopping Naruto once on the head before sitting down next to Sakura, "Between you and Konohamaru, I'm not sure where I can leave the kids without worrying what they’ll pick up."

They had their meal and by the end, Iruka forced them to promise that they would return to the academy in two days’ time with even Sasuke conceding.

When they left the restaurant, Naruto had decided to visit Konohamaru to congratulate him on his new chuunin status and Iruka followed, probably thinking it was a good time to have them together to go over appropriate lessons plans, Sakura guessed. But it left her and Sasuke alone for the first time since they were genin themselves.

It was only a half mile until they split ways, but Sasuke had set a leisurely pace and by the halfway point, Sakura thought she might explode if she didn't say something.

"Naruto says you’re almost done building the new complex," she offered, thinking it was inoffensive enough small talk.

"It's not a complex. It's only a single building. But it's almost done. The structure is complete."

"It's just the stuff to make it pretty that's left, huh?"

"Aesthetic finishing touches, yes. Or the pretty stuff, to you," he said with a wavery half smirk. Was Sasuke actually... joking with her? Or was he about to stab her or something? Play it cool and assess, she told herself.

"Haha," she said, "But it's hard to believe you did it in just a few weeks. And you've been hanging around with Naruto all this time."

"Where have you been?" He asked, which again, was completely unexpected. She found herself stringing together the words with like she had only just learned to talk.

"Overseeing, um, stuff. Lots of stuff at the hospital. Making sure the new building will suit Tsunade-sama, keeping tabs on the new civilian staff, checking in on a lot of out-patients who won't sit still, which is most of them," she added, grinning.

He nodded while looking straight ahead. The sun was behind them, low on the horizon. It made a kind of glow around him, shining in his dark hair, leaving his face shadowed and pale...

No, no, no! she thought.

"I spend a lot of time with Ino, too. Both of her parents died in the attack on HQ, so she needs a lot of support. I'm going there now. She was supposed to go see Shikamaru and Chouji today and she was kind of worried about it. They tend to make each other worse."

Sasuke was quiet for a moment, then he said, "She's lucky. There's nothing she can do but get over it."

She wanted to say that she wasn't lucky at all, but by present company's standards, she was. "I'm just not sure what makes her feel better. Some days she acts like she did before and I feel like everything's going to be ok. The next she gets mad at me for acting like nothing has happened and lies in bed all day. I just don't know how to act, which way helps."

"You can't anticipate where this will take her, so all you can do is go with whatever she throws at you and not take it personally. Sticking around and tolerating her is all you can do."

"Yeah. You're right. That's really good advice, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke nodded and Sakura thought she could manage to walk in peaceful silence then, but Sasuke suddenly said.

"But it still might not be enough, though. She might be a different person by the time she's over it."

"It doesn't matter how she acts. I'll always love Ino."

"That sounds like you," he said simply.

And the peace was ruined. Why was everyone trying to tie her to the past? To nip at the almost healed, Sasuke shaped wound in her heart? It seemed even Sasuke was in on it!

"Well, I've changed too, at my own pace," Some evidence to the contrary, she thought wryly, "It is subtle though. I'm not surprised you can't tell."

"I noticed change," he said, then added, "Between you and Naruto."

She froze mid-step, but then quickly continued to walk, just in case he stopped and used the full force of his attention on her. 

"Yeah, I guess," she said, filling the silence and wondering what the hell he had meant by that. Was he fishing for her relationship status? Between US could only really mean one thing, right? 

With all her internal floundering, she didn't notice that they were suddenly at the split way. Sasuke followed the road automatically. She thought he wasn't going to say goodbye, but then he turned.

"You should train more. You'll get weak again if all you do is babysit the hospital and the Godaime."

Sakura wasn't sure how long it took for her to get angry. She was sure she stood there with her mouth open for ten minutes while her feelings caught up with that statement. Weak again? Again? She'd been an elite level shinobi since the end of her training with Tsunade. There was no way she could fall back to her genin level. Of course there was no denying that she had been weak for a time, especially compared to the rest of team 7, but that's was years ago.

She took a step forward and swallowed, "Ex-"

"Naruto and I train in the morning. Maybe if you think up some strategies while you’re at work, you could take the bell from one of us someday."

He was wearing a full blow smirk now as he turned and walked down the road. The anger had been killed, instant death, by his arrogant invitation. She turned and walked to her tree home in a daze, her emotions reeling.

Sasuke was acting like a human being almost- a pessimistic, silently deadly weirdo, but still, that was crazy enough by itself. But now he was offering to spend more time with her? 

By the time she was climbing up Ino's tree, she was reeling again when she realized what a compliment it was. Not to her womanhood, but to her skills. He was interested in her, and while she knew it wasn’t the way she had fantasized when she was younger, it was still recognition. He had realized she could be useful to train with, that it wasn’t a waste of time to have her around.

The whole thing gave her mixed feelings. She reminded herself that this was her goal, to be seen as an equal by her team mates. She wouldn't let herself go crazy and fixate on the fact that Sasuke voluntarily offered to spend time with her.

She opened the curtain, "Ino," she called.

Ino was exactly how she left her, but dressed in day clothes and without her blanket mummied around her.

Sakura sighed and sat down next to her.

"Did you go out?"

Ino said nothing, so Sakura assumed she had.

"Ino? ...You can't tell anyone, but I think I'm going to date Naruto. Officially. And soon."

Ino slowly rolled over in bed. Her face was blotchy from recent crying, but her eyes looked interested. She sniffed a few times and said, "What?"

"I'm going to make a move on Naruto," Sakura said again calmly.

Tentatively, Ino sat up. She rubbed her face and then leaned forward, "Why all the sudden?"

"A lot of reasons. I love him and with the whole town on... hiatus from real life, we'll both get so comfortable that it still won't happen, and then we'll be busy again and it won't happen and I'm just trying to speed things up."

The reason she did not say, which she knew Ino would disapprove of and misunderstand, was that she had to save herself from Sasuke. One tiny moment of relatively kind conversation and she was already overreacting. She did not want to open that door again. It was unhealthy. And disloyal, because in a way, she was already in love with Naruto.

Ino wasn't buying her easy excuse though, "What happened today?"

"No-thing!"

"Then why out of nowhere?"

"I just told you why."

"You're hiding something from me. I can see it written all over that giant forehead of yours. It's not fair to not tell me what, especially since I'm so sad..."

"I can't believe you'd guilt trip me with that!"

"Is it working?"

"Yes!" Sakura shouted, then sighed, then laughed, "But I really don't think you want to know. I'm a mess!"

Ino have her a knowing look, "You can't be worse than me. Let’s hear it."

Sakura shifted to one side of the sleeping bag and settled in for a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you may or may not be able to tell, I’m a lot more comfortable writing Sakura. Naruto’s chapter is next!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 

Naruto yawned widely and loudly as the Tsunade-baba explained the parameters of his “mission”. 

At the moment, most of the missions were chuunin and genin work; protecting small villages and civilian suppliers against the bandits and low level rogue ninja who were taking advantage of everyone’s diverted attention as they tried to rebuild. But his "mission" didn’t even rank! A diplomatic mission to the sand, a.k.a. hanging out with Gaara while he did paper work and eating a bunch of weird desert food that almost always tasted like coconuts with a hint of fancy ramen seasoning. Naruto didn’t particularly like coconut taste in his ramen, but something maybe if they toned it down with…

"Naruto! Did you hear me?!"

"Huh? What?"

He dodged the book the Hokage threw at him, but not the slap to the back of the head from the ANBU soldier that was supposed to be standing guard at the door. He was about to retaliate when Tsunade shouted again.

"Naruto!" 

"What!?"

"Choose. Your. Envoys."

"Oo, I want Sakura-chan and Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei!"

"Sasuke is fine, but Kakashi is busy and Sakura has too many responsibilities at the hospital right now."

"Aw, come on. They love Sakura-chan over there! And you could earn some bonus points, saying you sent your best medic to check in with them!"

"And you just want a paid vacation with your friends."

"No, think about it! We really haven't been able to fortify our position in the inter-village cooperation thing since we've been rebuilding, but if Sakura goes and teaches the medics over in sand a few things... Knowledge and strong ninjas are the only things we really have to offer right now, right?"

"I might actually commend your idea if you didn't have that ridiculous grin on your face."

Naruto grinned even wider, knowing he had won.

"Fine! Team 7 minus Kakashi. This will be your first grown up mission now that you’re back together again. Try to remember that this is a diplomatic situation, not an excuse to regress into goofy little kids."

"You got it, oba-chan!"

He turned and burst out the door, then the nearest window, happy to deliver the news to Sakura. She had been weird and kind of unpredictable lately, so maybe some time in close proximity on the road would let him get to the bottom of it.

"Naruto!" someone shouted. He turned and saw the ANBU that had hit him was chasing him. He held up a scroll.

"Oh yeah," Naruto said sheepishly as the ANBU threw it long, making him chase after it before it fell. The ANBU was gone by the time he caught it.

He opened the scroll and studied it while he ran. She’d want to know when they were leaving and how long she'd be gone.

She had moved from the trees into a new shinobi apartment building. It was a one bedroom that she shared with Ino. They rotated bed privileges, but she had said it was worth it just to have a shower and something softer than a sleeping bag to sleep on.

He’d missed being able to see Sakura any time, and always having her around, but as he perched against her living room window and saw her reading on the couch, he realized it wasn’t all that different.

He threw the window open with a shout of her name and laughed when she jumped.

"Damn it, Naruto! I have a door now!"

"I like this way better!" He said, hopping in the room as she tsked at him and pretended to go back to reading. He ambled over to her; the apartment was mostly empty, with just a couch, a low table, and a bed in the bedroom. He flung himself down next to her, making her writhe to get comfortable again.

"Urg! Hey!" she complained.

He held the scroll out to her and she stopped squirming and took it from his hand. He relaxed beside her and leaned over her shoulder to read the scroll again.

"This says... Oh, so you want me on your team?"

"Yeah. I told Tsunade it might be nice to let the sand pick your brain about some medical jutsu."

"That's a pretty good idea. They don't have anyone really great over there right now."

She set the scroll down and looked over at him. He expected a punch or something; even he was a little flustered at how close together they were when she looked right in his eyes. Their faces were only inches apart.

"Who else is on the team?" She asked, looking preoccupied. If it had been anyone else, he would have said the look she was giving him was sexy, but this was Sakura, so... 

"Sasuke! Just the three of us," he said. He swallowed half in relief, half in remorse, when she leaned back into the corner, no longer sitting face to face with him. She looked a little annoyed and again, for the who knows how manyth time that month, he didn't know what to make of her mysterious change in mood.

"What's up, Sakura-chan? I thought you'd like to go. And it'll be like old times, too, traveling on foot and staying at inns. And everyone in Suna worships you.”

"It's not that. I'm glad we're going..." She looked down at her lap and suddenly, he felt her touch his hand.

"It's just..." She ran her fingers across his knuckles, "It's weird sometimes with Sasuke..." Her face was close enough to kiss again, "And us..."

Naruto was processing things rapidly, for him. Sakura was practically in his lap, talking about them as an "us". He might be slow to pick up some things, but the signals she was sending were completely clear.

He didn’t dare speak; he barely breathed. He didn’t want anything to break the mood of this once in a life-time moment that he had somehow stumbled in to. Tentatively, he raised his hand. He wanted to run his thumb across her lower lip, an action he’d been fantasizing about since he was eleven, but he thought maybe the injury he'd sustain if he was wrong would be less if he started by just touching her face. His fingers were tingling, about to make contact, until the front door opened with a bang. 

Naruto leapt to one side of the couch, while Sakura uncurled her feet and sat up straight.

Ino appeared around the corner, her voice seemingly louder than usual.

"Here's your damn groceries, forehead! If you don't make dinner this time, I-" she stopped short as she saw them on the couch.

For a half second, she looked surprised. Then she grinned.

"Oh, uh, I didn't know you were coming around, Naruto. And without your usual shadow, too."

Shadow? Who... Did she mean Sasuke? He wondered.

"Just what did I interrupt?" Ino asked, barely containing her laughter as she swung her grocery bags back and forth.

Naruto jumped up, "I just let Sakura-chan know we're going on a mission! I gotta go tell Sasuke! Later, Sakura-chan!" The window was still open and he leap out of it, fleeing from one of the most surreal moments of his life, the first one he’d ever had off of the battle field.

He was at Sasuke's house before he knew it and he let himself in. He walked inside and laid directly down on the hard wood floor, not even bothering to call for Sasuke. He had to think.

Sakura was sending him signals, real signals. When he thought about it, she had been touching him a lot lately. A few days ago, she walked in on him getting dressed and after she threw a few weak punches at him, she tied his hitai-ate around his head for him, which led her to playing with his hair for so long that they were late to the academy. Lately, most of her violence in response to his teasing was by tackling. Sometimes to the ground, the way she did the other morning at the training ground before Sasuke had shown up. She had laid on top of him, gazing down at him playfully, or what he thought was playfully. Could it have been... 

"What the hell are you doing, dead last?"

"Quiet. I'm thinking."

He heard Sasuke’s footsteps approaching across the wooden floor.

"Why here?"

Naruto threw the scroll at him and that managed to shut him up for a while.

But it didn't make sense. She had confessed to Sasuke barely two months ago, right in front of him. And he had respected her for it. He could always count on her to be honest about her feelings. 

Of course, she had confessed to him too, and although he had sensed some truth in it, he knew in his heart that her love for him was different than it was for Sasuke.

But now Sasuke was back and was acting... if not normal, then similar to normal. She could finally have a real go that him, but instead, she was pursuing him. 

"Arrrrrggg, what the hell is going on!?" he cried, flailing his legs against the ground.

"The scroll says we're going to Suna. Sorry, I forgot you can't read."

"Not in the scroll, bastard! This is all your fault, somehow. I know it!"

He hopped to his feet as Sasuke turned to face him, tensed to fight.

"What is?"

"Everything!" He shouted and with a leap, he launched himself at Sasuke, who grappled with him for a moment before slamming him on the floor. Unfortunately, Naruto got a hold of his arm and took him with him, turning as he fell to fling Sasuke onto the floor beside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did I rotate perspectivessss? Naruto is hard to write. He's goofy, playful, pervy, but also an increasingly capable young dude and overall, a nice boy! Dimension is hard, you guise.
> 
> I might change the balance as needed, like Sasuke chapter, Sakura chapter, Naruto Chapter, Sakura Chapter, Sasuke chapter, Sakura chapter... instead of going in a perfect circle.


	4. Chapter 4

Sasuke stared across the field at Sakura, who had tied up her hair and had procured a jounin vest for their training today. Fighting without the sharingan didn't do much to hone his skills, but it did at least allow Sakura to push his strength and endurance. Her taijutsu was a little interesting; though her movements were often as sloppy and brutish as Naruto's, she was capable of subterfuge and often thought a few steps ahead.

"Go, Sakura!" Naruto shouted from his resting place in the grass. As soon as he spoke, she ran, her fists both tense and arms raised, but he sensed by her posture she was going for a kick. He was right and he blocked, grabbing her arm and slamming her to the ground. 

He immediately dropped into a dead fall to slam her in the chest with his elbow, which she caught.

Damn! He thought, as she grabbed his other arm and felt her legs lock around him. Very quickly, he found himself flat on his back, staring at the top half of her head, both of his hands locked in hers at his side and her sitting on his knees.

He heard Naruto jogging over.

Sakura laughed as she leaned over him, "Why do you keep trying?"

Naruto's face was also soon in his, "I think he's just being stubborn, aren't you, teme? Just face it: you will never over power her if you're grappling."

Sakura stood up and he shoved Naruto with his newly freed arms. Naruto rocked back on to his butt and laughed.

"I'm starting to think you just like her pinning you down."

Sasuke leapt on to Naruto, who was ready for it. They rolled in the grass, Naruto trying to gain some leverage while Sasuke went for the most painful hold he could find.

"Ow, ow, ow!" 

Sasuke smirked at Naruto's quick concession, but as soon as he had freed him, Naruto rolled to his feet and was ready to pounce again. A pink blur came in between them and knocked Naruto back on the ground.

"I believe it's still my turn," she said.

"Humph. Fine. Sasuke needs a lesson in how to beat you anyway."

Sasuke walked over to Naruto's spot in the shade by the tree line as his two teammates smiled at each other from across the field. Sasuke recalled from their genin days that they both liked a running start into a fight.

He watched the first wave of kicks and punches, Naruto keeping his distance and Sakura keeping her strength under control. They each had personal handicaps for taijutsu training.

No overwhelming chakra boosters from Naruto. Only controlled strength with Sakura. And of course, for him, dojutsu was not allowed.

But now, it was his turn to watch, so he turned on the sharingan. 

She fought differently with Naruto- better. She left hardly any holes in her defense and she wasn't letting him control the pace of battle. With him, she flaunted her strengths.

Tomorrow, they'd be leaving for Suna, walking it, mostly. So many things had changed between them, but for some reason, he felt a bond with them that he hadn't felt since... Hell, since he was fresh from the academy. It was only those few months when he felt calm in the presence of his team. The cat finding, potato picking days where all they cared about was what was under Kakashi-sensei's mask.

His plan to practice his social skills wasn't making much headway. Sakura seemed to forgive him for everything for some reason, but he had a feeling that that would have happened anyway, even without his best efforts to be more... outgoing. And of course, it was easy to let Naruto fill any need to socialize with anyone else ever.

But he supposed it was progress enough to just not be bothered by two other people so much. Especially someone as loud as Naruto. Sakura, however, was... Well, almost relaxing. He would have never guessed that she was going to grow into someone so calm and efficient... Someone who handled so much responsibility. Even though he knew he had no hand in it, it was nice to watch her, like that.

A handful of genin boys, so young and fresh faced that Sasuke was sure that they weren't a day over ten, appeared at the one end of the field and lingered, as though they were too shy to pass the fighters to get to an open space.

But that wouldn't be a problem for long as he saw Sakura begin to lose the fight. She didn't let on right away, but a blow Naruto landed to her leg was slowing her down. Then she took a punch she should have dodged and got herself cornered near the trees on the far side of the field. The kids crept closer to watch the fight

Naruto halted what would have been a finishing blow and Sakura conceded. They spoke lowly to each other and Sasuke turned off the sharingan to listen to the kids gush about Naruto. As the two walked back, Naruto caught sight of them and waved. 

If that wasn't enough to seal his fate, when he reached Sasuke, he called, "Hi,” to them. They were on him after that.

Sakura sat down beside him as Naruto, after listening to the children’s gushing speeches of admiration, was carried off to teach them how to be great ninjas, which would probably involve him sending out shadow clones until the kids had exhausted themselves. Sakura used a healing jutsu on her leg.

"Do you think we'll get him back any time today?" Sasuke said, sounding a bit more annoyed than he actually felt. But Sakura just laughed.

"Probably not. They look like they have a lot of energy."

"I'm going, then," he said, and stood. He barely had to force his next words.

"Do you want to come?"

"Um, yeah. Sure. Where are we going?"

He hadn't thought of that. He wanted to say his house, but then he had no idea how to make her leave when he wanted to be alone again.

"Lunch," he said finally, "For a chance to eat something other than ramen."

"Sounds good to me," she said and jogged over to Naruto. He began to walk to the edge of the grounds, feeling a little uncomfortable.

When she caught up with him, she said, "Four rounds of sparring each. Not bad for the day before a mission."

He nodded.

They walked in silence for a while, until he realized that neither of them knew where they were going. Sakura was probably just following his lead. He decided to duck into the first place he saw.

Konoha was mostly rebuilt. All but a handful of the temporary houses were down as Yamato managed to rebuild central Konoha. The restaurants were functioning too as the civilians began to come back and it didn't take long to run into one.

They went inside and sat down, Sakura across from him and he began to rethink his quick decision to invite her. Why did he randomly decide to subject himself to an hour of silent staring?

He thought Sakura might be thinking something similar, because she laughed in an uncomfortable way.

"Well, this is a first," she said, "Hm... So... Why to do you keep trying to pin me when we spar?"

He could do training talk, "You leave a lot of openings for submission holds and when I see them by chance..." But actually, when he said it aloud, he realized she didn't. Most of the time. Only with him. 

"You were setting them up on purpose."

She grinned, "Of course! It sure took you long enough to figure it out."

Sasuke didn't say that he didn't think she was capable of using his prejudice against her against him. Or pointing out that she must have had a good idea of what he thought of her abilities if she used such a simple trick and he fell for it so many times.

All he could say was, "I'll stop underestimating you."

She looked like she might start to glow with pride. Her pink ponytail still had some leaves in it and her cheeks were still flushed from exertion. For the first time in five years, maybe more, he thought the word, 'pretty'.

Which was concerning for a moment, until he realized he could think she was pretty and not be in love with her. Then he relaxed again.

They only spoke a little, and Sasuke knew that she knew him enough to not worry if something was wrong. As the waiter left their table after bring their entries, Sakura gasped, "Should we be nice and bring something to Naruto?"

The thought wouldn't have crossed his mind, but he nodded.

Back out on the street, he was holding the bag with Naruto's food in it, feeling a not totally unwelcome sense of ease, when a familiar face appeared.

"Sakura," Sai smiled, and it even looked real, "And..."

He felt Sakura tense beside him, but he had no intention of letting her stop the words that were about to come out of Sai's mouth. Nor would she stop the ass beating Sasuke was planning on giving Sai right after.

"Sasuke," Sai finally said, his smile expanding. Sakura staggered over to him and latched on to his arm, grinning like a parent who just witnessed their child's first step.

"Yes! W-what are you up to Sai?"

"Naruto told me you're leaving tomorrow and I want to have a conversation with you before that. And... I've read… and, well also, it personally appeals to me, that this conversation should be held in private, despite the open attitude I've seen you display on the subject."

"Oh... that sounds... interesting. Hm, we were just delivering this food, but how about…”

If Sakura dates this idiot I will never forgive her, even if he does look a little like me.

"I'll deliver it myself. You can have your private conversation with... Sai."

Sakura looked over, a little surprised, "Are you sure? I was about to say, we could meet later."

Sasuke didn't even want to respond to such a stupid statement; he just said it was fine, didn't he?

"Why do you think I'd care either way?" He said, and turned away. And even though he was walking away, he felt a warm, powerful calm, all the way down to his core. And he knew why.

He hated Sai. And the warmth of that hate, the familiar tightness in his chest, had been missing the last few months. He walked faster, until he finally just gave up and leapt from building to building until he was back at the training grounds.

He felt like he was waking up from a stupor, like half of his senses had been asleep and he hadn't realized it.

He crossed the field where Naruto and a single clone were battling it out with the kids. He leapt into the fray, throwing a solid punch at the Naruto closest to him. Unfortunately, it only turned into smoke and disappeared.

The genin stopped short as Naruto turned to him.

"Wha-"

"You're lunch," Sasuke said, throwing the box haphazardly at Naruto, who caught it, but just barely. Without looking down at the box, Naruto narrowed his eyes.

"What's wrong with you? Where's Sakura-chan?"

"Probably on her way home to do it with that guy you both love so much."

"What? Who?"

"Why do you care? It's not like she's ever been interested in you. Let's train."

The genin backed away slowly into the trees as Naruto paced forward, "What did you do to Sakura?"

"I didn't do anything, dead-last, I told you, she went with-"

"What guy?!"

"Sai."

"Oh," Naruto's posture relaxed and Sasuke literally felt the anger leave Naruto completely. How did he do that? Why would he want to?

But then Naruto gained a little back as he said, "You can't talk about Sakura-chan like that."

"Yeah!" Came a high voice from the trees, "And you can't call Naruto-sensei 'dead-last' either!"

There was a scuffling sound in the leaves as he was sure one genin was trying to force the other two to retreat.

He actually hadn't thought about what he was saying about Sakura. He had no idea what she was doing with the asshole who was supposed to be his 'replacement'. He was only aiming for what would piss Naruto off the most. But he wasn't about to admit that now.

"If you don't like it, why don't you do something about it?"

Naruto tossed his box of lunch aside, "Why do you have to be such an asshole?"

Sasuke answered by flinging himself toward Naruto. Naruto dogged as best as he could as Sasuke’s first round of kicks and punches would easily broke something.

"Why are you so mad, anyway? Wait..." Naruto said as he continued to block his attacks and back farther into the trees.

"For once in your life, could you just fight and not talk?"

"What about you? Could you just talk and not fight?"

A fire jutsu answered that question.

"Fine! I'll just have to beat you to a pulp until you can't do anything else!"

It was hard, but Sasuke kept to sparring rules. If his sharingan leaked out, he put it away and every time Naruto started to gather massive chakra, he swallowed it back down.

After thirty minutes or so, he realized why elemental jutsu and genjutsu were developed. The body wasn’t meant to take these kinds of beating for very long.

He was sure he had cracked a rib or two in Naruto, just as he was sure his femur was fractured. Thanks to his habit of diving head first into things, Naruto's face was looking worse for wear and Sasuke was sure he had sprained a few joints in his arms. Trying to spare his leg made him more predictable, even to an idiot like Naruto.

But his anger was receding as his pain was growing. Naruto was receiving a little healing, but he knew it must be wearing on him too. But he wasn't about to stop until he heard a shout and a whoosh of wind.

"I approve of the youthfulness of training in taijutsu, but it is even more youthful to pay attention to the needs of your training partner," Gai said, placing a hand on Naruto's back, "Not to mention, the example you set for your young comrades."

The genin team had been watching them openly at the edge of the grounds, moving away as needed, sometimes shouting encouragement to Naruto.

"Now, the two of you need to take care of your bodies with a trip to the hospital. And next time you want to train in taijutsu, you should ask for some assistance from Lee."

When Sasuke was forced to stand still, he felt the weight of his exhaustion. He only just then remembered they would be taking a mission on foot the next day. He would absolutely have to go to the hospital. It was unavoidable.

Naruto followed a little ways behind him and they left the grounds, hearing Gai beginning to lecture and train the poor, hapless genin who apparently didn’t escape fast enough.

People seemed to take one look at their disheveled appearance leave them alone as they trudged to the hospital, even though they took care to travel on less crowded streets. Naruto finally asked:

"So what was that about?"

"Hn."

"Seriously. Because it seemed to me that you were jealous. Of Sai. Over Sakura," Naruto elaborated when he didn't get an answer. Finally Naruto huffed and threw his arms in the air. He sped past him and contented himself to walk in front of him.

"I'm not jealous over Sakura," Sasuke said lowly, trying to catch up with Naruto with his bad leg. Naruto slowed his pace, but said nothing. Sasuke went on, "I just hate Sai. And when he appeared out of nowhere... I already wanted to fight him, but Sakura went off with him, so I couldn't. That's all."

"Then why'd you say all that stuff about Sakura-chan?"

"To rile you up, dobe."

His explanation seemed to do a good job of that too. Naruto spun toward him, probably hurting his ribs in the process, "But why were you that angry?! Sai never did anything to you!"

"It feels good to be angry," Sasuke said, lowly.

"What part of beating up your friends feels good to you?"

Sasuke thought about explaining it. The physical change in his senses, the clarity in his mind, but Naruto already knew those things. He was sure he had felt them. The real problem was that Sasuke thought that those things felt better than anything else in the world. But when he gave in, he hurt his only friend.

"I'm sorry. It was wrong to take it out on you."

Naruto’s mouth fell open. His eyes were wide.

Sasuke rolled his eyes at his over surprised expression and added, "I'll try to control myself better from now on."

Naruto leapt toward him and glomped on to his shoulders, laughing. Sasuke tried to elbow him off and was satisfied as he nicked on of the ribs he'd cracked, causing Naruto to let go for a brief moment with a grunt. Idiot. Why was he so happy over something simple like that?

Then Naruto knocked his leg against his femur while locking his arm around his shoulders again. And they continued like that all the way to the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. I got sick for a week almost and catching up with all my life stuff took forever. 
> 
> I want to reply to your lovely comments, but I'm kind of shy and I feel sheepish when I try -.-;; But I read them and appreciate them all the same! Love love!


	5. Chapter 5 - Sakura

Chapter 5

"Sakura... chan."

"Oh, sorry, Sai. I was lost in thought. So this is your house, huh? I love these pictures." She walked over to his wall where a dozen pictures hung in a collage. 

"Sakura-chan, are you alright?"

"Huh?" She looked over at the boy, standing in his entryway, looking at her with the perfect example of an inquisitive face, "You never call me Sakura-chan."

"I thought it would be nicer, and also indicate that we were closer. Do you mind?"

"Not at all!" She said with a grin, "You've called me worse, after all."

Sai smiled and it looked sheepish, "I'm also practicing being nicer, particularly with the female gender in mind. But Sakura, I'm curious about before."

"Hm?" She said while trying to process the idea that Sai wanted to progress in ANY way with the female gender.

"Did Sasuke the Dickless Traitor hurt your feelings in some way?"

"Sai...!" She said covering her eyes with her hands, "You were doing so well! You can't call him a traitor anymore and you certainly shouldn't add dickless to the mix!" She wasn't sure which part would piss Sasuke off more, but either way it would definitely end with a dead Sai.

"I heard women need to discuss their feelings and I'm personally curious as well. Did he? When he asked why you thought he would care, did it hurt your feelings?"

"It just surprised me is all," she said, "He seemed mad all of the sudden and I don't have very many guesses as to why."

He either really hates you, or me, or is really into you, or me, she thought, but wisely kept to herself. You never know what Sai might repeat in mixed company.

But if she had to guess at Sasuke's feelings, based on his previous interactions with Sai, she was inclined to believe it was either the first or last option. But if it was the last...

"So what did you want to talk about?" She asked Sai, cutting off her own unhealthy thoughts.

"Ah, yes," Sai walked further into the room and asked her to sit, "It's a matter about relationships... Romantic relationships between men and women."

Please don't let this be a birds and bees talk. Please...

"Any two people in particular?" she asked, trying not to visibly cringe.

"Ah, yes, specifically."

To anyone else, he would have looked like he was talking about money or shurikan techniques, but to Sakura, who had been trying to detect emotional development in the boy for over a year, that one pause was equivalent to blushing and spilling his drink.

"Specifically...?"

"Myself," he said, "and Yamanaka Ino."

"Ino!" She shouted, then grit her teeth together to gain some control, "I see! Uh. When did this... happen?" How did it happen? We all thought you were still a eunuch robot.

"I know you said not to trust books because I'm too literal, but I underlined some passages..." With dismay, Sakura saw him pull out an all too familiar orange covered book.

"Here, it says, or I should say, Kojiro, the protagonist, says, in internal narration,"

Get on with it! she thought, barely able to take the suspense.

"Yesterday, she was nothing to me, a criminal in my bingo book, a line to be crossed out. If I hadn't seen her by the river, she would be still be only an idea, a name. But her body in the dark water with its storied scars and voluptuous curves struck me to the core. She is now a someone and I can never forget that now that I know it.”

"He continues,” Sai said, looking up from the book, “With his plan to redeem the rouge ninjas name, but it's like that. One day she was no one, and then, suddenly, she was someone. Also, here, "My stomach leapt as our hands brushed." That has happened as well. And, "At the sight of her leaning over the broad wooden bar, her legs slightly apart, her hips rocking slightly, tantalizing me as she waited, I felt myself grow hard-"

"No more! Nope! I got it! So no need to read any more of the hips and the... ahhh," Sakura had jumped to her feet, prepared to flee is he couldn't be convinced to stop reading, but now that he was just looking quietly at her, she found she could sit again and pretend that she wasn't very freaked out about hearing Sai recite pornography.

"So you have a crush on Ino... What do you want to do about it?"

Sai flipped the book a few pages farther, but Sakura cut him off, "No more book examples necessary! Let's just... figure this out..."

Sakura was unsure how to lead Sai. Ino had expressed interest in him once and she often flirted with him, but she had unresolved feelings for Shikamaru and with the trauma she'd been dealing with...

Sakura looked at Sai's smile. Though it was small, it was real and earnest, and slightly unsure. She couldn't resist helping him putting his best foot forward. At the least, he would be a welcome distraction for the blonde. At most, her previously unknown soul mate.

"Ok, Sai. Get me some paper. I'm going to make a list or scenarios with little flow charts you can follow if you are ever unsure of what to do or say!"

 

\+ + +

 

 

Sakura packed while Ino sat on her bed, watching.

"I'm glad you're going," Ino said, making a good show of sounding airy and wistful, "It'll force me to get back into society."

"It will. And you're good at society. It likes you. You like it back."

"People do like me," she said, slightly relenting on her passive aggressive guilt trip.

"Speaking of… people," Sakura said, holding in her sudden urge to laugh, "Will you look after Sai a bit? I think he'll be a little lost without us and it would set back his progress to stay locked up without social interaction for a month and a half."

"Sai? I guess I can do that,” she said, staring absently at the long blonde ponytail that was twirled around her hand.

"I mentioned it to him when I ran into him today, so he might call in on you."

"Great," she snarked, but Sakura let it go. 

Sakura plopped down on the bed beside her after she zipped her suitcase and then laid back to stare at the ceiling.

"This is going to be a long trip," Sakura sighed. It would seem even longer with her curiosity about Ino and Sai.

"Nah. You and your two hunnies, all shacked up on the road. You won't be bored for a minute."

Sakura contemplated telling her about Sasuke, how normal he was at lunch, then how he snapped at her... But she didn't want to make herself think about it anymore. If she didn't over analyze it, then she wasn't obsessing. Right?

"God, are you falling asleep?"

Those words snapped her awake, making her realize, yes, for a moment, she was asleep.

Sakura felt Ino’s flailing shaking the bed, "Nooo, I wanted us to stay up all night and hang out! You haven't even had dinner yet!"

"Okay..." Sakura said, knowing full well if it was only the two of them talking, there was no way she'd make it all night.

Ino dragged her into the kitchen where she banged around, looking for something to cook. Since they both lived with their parents before this, cooking wasn't a priority for either of them, but Ino felt that berating all of the food in the refrigerator might help.

"Ew! What are you? Why isn't there anything good in here? Ugh, this is old!" Ino shouted, as though the food itself was personally responsible.

Sakura laid her head down on the kotatsu, riding a wave of tiredness so fierce that she was a little shocked. Probably a mental defense mechanism, she thought between spaces of lucidity.

Then there was a knock on the door. Her head shot up, heart pounding, while Ino tip toed around the kitchen bar into the living room. The two shared a glance, then Ino walked to the door.

Sakura relaxed when she saw Ino sigh, "Oh, Shika."

She heard his voice from the entry way, "Who did you expect?", before he walked inside, brushing past Ino.

Shikamaru, who had always been relaxed, seemed especially lethargic since his parents passed. While he had valiantly stepped up to the plate after he lost Asuma-sensei and then again during the battle, the death of his parents didn’t seem to have set in new fire inside of him in his day to day life.

He saw her and they exchanged nods while Ino circled him.

"What do you have?"

"Leftovers from Chouji. He's trying to document his old family recipes and he always makes way too much. Didn't feel like throwing them away this time."

"Thank God," Ino said reverently, "We were about to starve. We were going to go forage in the forest..."

Shikamaru, clearly used to Ino's dramatics, stood for a moment, then, seeming to latch on to Sakura's lack of energy vibe, he plopped himself down on the floor across from her, looking like he might also want a nice nap at the dinner table. Sakura, mirroring his weariness, placed her head on one arm to stare at him,

"So I'll just serve us all, shall I?" Ino asked sarcastically, walking past them into the kitchen,

"Not me. I just got done eating it," Shikamaru said, choosing to miss the point.

"Pleeease, Ino-chan," Sakura drawled with her head still down, staring at Shikamaru.

"Fine."

"So you're going to Suna tomorrow?"

Ino chimed in before she could answer, "Oh yeah. I forgot to ask, do you want her to send any messages to your girlfriend?" Ino asked, managing to sound both cheerful and spiteful. It was almost like she was back to her old self.

Shikamaru leveled a stare at her that Sakura read as 'I'm too tired to play with you,' then simply said, "Baka."

And because of that, Sakura was able to stay awake a few more hours, watching part of another dysfunctional team argue until Shikamaru finally gathered the energy to leave. Then Ino kept her up, complaining about him, and it felt like they were all thirteen again,

 

 

*** *** ***

 

Sakura stretched and yawned as she set foot in the hot sand as she left the hospital for the last time. The blazing yellow sun was just now falling behind the shapes of clay and sand made buildings and domes.

It had been an interesting trip, to say the least. The Medic-nin of the sand had a lot of scrolls for her to look over- mostly Chiyo-sans things. There was some interesting stuff on preserving the body, but personally, she liked Tsunade-sama's methods. The days she spent at the hospital flew by, but left her too tired to do anything other than eat with her team and the Kazekage and then pass out in her private quarters.

The road was a different story. On the road, there was so much bromance going on between Naruto and Sasuke that Sakura had trouble getting in a word edge wise. If she didn’t know better, she’d have thought something might have happened between the two, with the way Naruto was clinging on to him most of the time.

And Naruto seemed to have forgotten the couch incident and was leaving her zero openings for her to hit on him while Sasuke’s presence was giving her zero chances to make an opening. They were like some special defense squad against getting her laid.

The night before they hit the road, as she was falling asleep (Ino was nice enough to give her the bed on her last night before the trip) she convinced herself that she was going to put Sasuke behind her once and for all and that she could not, would not, deal with the unexpected moodiness. In a small part of her heart, she had blamed herself for his constant rejection of her all those years ago. She’d convinced herself that, compared to him, she was shallow and annoying and so she deserved to be treated like that. But she had changed. He had not. Though he no longer lusted after revenge, he was still an angry 12 year old boy, lashing out for no reason.

But on the road, he surprised her. His new level of closeness with Naruto was the first thing. Then he had this whole relaxed aura that was another. But most surprisingly, he had apologized. In front of Naruto.

Naruto and Sasuke were already waiting outside the gate for her the morning they were supposed to leave Konoha. There was still mist in the air and the smell of dew and dirt and grass was already making her nostalgic. Sasuke turned toward her as she approached and she felt her will to be chipper waiver slightly after seeing his cold face. But Naruto grinned and patted his shoulder and suddenly Sasuke was walking toward her, his face intense. He stopped an arm’s length away and Naruto circled behind them, presumably to get a better view.

"What are you two doing?" she asked while she forced a smile from her clenched jaw.

"Sakura," Sasuke said, then sighed, suddenly losing the tension from his frame. His brow furrowed and, in some strange, hereto unknown mix of pride and shame, he said, "I'm sorry I lost my temper. I was... mad at Sai, not you."

"It's ok!" she said quickly. Then Naruto leapt over to them and slapped him on the back, beaming. Then Sasuke tried to punch him and everything was back to normal. Or "normal".

There really was nothing like walking along, looking into the cool, autumn sunset with the boy you love by your side. And the other boy you love standing right beside him.

As she walked back toward Sand headquarters, she dreaded another two weeks on the road like they were before.

She sat in the lobby of HQ, waiting for a cute chuunin boy to fetch Naruto from whatever he was distracting Gaara from doing.

Soon, the blonde was bounding toward her.

"Garaa's throwing us a goodbye party!" 

“Oh, that’s nice,” she said as Gaara rounded the corner behind him. Naruto was already leaning in to her personal space.

“Yeah! I’m going to tell Sasuke! Do you want to come?”

“Uh, if we’re waiting on dinner, I think I’ll just go back to my room and wash up a little.”

“Ok! We meet at six at the Sand headquarters!”

Sakura nodded and glanced over to Gaara, who left the room without a word. He wasn’t exactly the most personable leader, but she was sure the dinner would be fine, she thought as she wandered back to her quarters, wondering if there was anything nice she could wear.

 

 

 

The Sand had really outdone themselves with the feast. The massively long banquet table was almost collapsing under the weight of exotic dishes. At the head of the table where she sat close to her team and the Kazekage, were several bottles of expensive liquors. Half way through the meal, Naruto leaned into her side and said in an undertone, "Remember the last time we drank?"

"Don't remind me," she said, running her hands through her hair.

"You drink together?" Sasuke asked.

"Once," Sakura grimaced.

"It was a special occasion,” Naruto said, winking, before his face fell at the memory, “I've never been that sick before."

"I've never been that embarrassed!" she exclaimed. She felt herself turning red at the thought of it.

Gaara, who was listening quietly, asked Sakura, "What did you do?"

Naruto opened his mouth, but Sakura reached over and pushed it shut again. "There's no way I'm telling the Kazekage my most embarrassing memory!"

Gaara simply blinked at her.

"I'd rather you keep your current perception of me," she said, trying to give him a winning smile. But Gaara was as immovable as Sasuke, who, speaking of which, looked pretty irritated just then. But a moment after she glanced at him, the look passed back into blankness.

"Have you ever drank, Sasuke?"

"No."

There was a lot of contempt in that single syllable. But then he reached across the table and grabbed a sake bottle.

"I've never drank either. I was warned that it may agitate the one tails and make me more prone to blood lust or falling asleep."

"But you're not the container anymore!" Naruto said, "You could drink if you wanted!"

Sakura didn't like the way this conversation was going.

Gaara stared contemplatively at another open bottle as Sasuke filled his sakazuki* with sake.

Oh well, she thought, at least that thing doesn't hold as much as the masu* cups that were more common in Konoha.

She looked around. All the old men seemed to be talking amongst themselves, drinking and eating and generally celebrating being alive. It seemed the jubilance of survival hadn't quite worn out in the sand either.

"Here, if you have one, I'll have one too!" She heard Naruto say, and snapped back to attention.

"What about our oath? We swore we'd never drink again!" She said, snatching the bottle away from him.

"Aww, Sakura-chan... You aren't really going to hold me to that forever, are you?" She glared and he whined, "Plus, Gaara wants to drink! And he's our host! And the Kazegage! It'd be rude not to!"

"Only because you're trying to tempt him!"

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sasuke pouring another glass.

"But why should I care? Do what you want!" Sakura huffed, unsure which direction to turn to show she was ignoring them. In the end, she just had to look ahead at a minister who looked about two-hundred years old and was picking crumbs out of his long beard. But from the corner of her eye, she watched what they were doing.

Before long, she began to notice a problem brewing. 

Firstly, the three were drinking way too fast, knocking back the plates in one gulp instead of sipping, refilling them over and over, all the while not keeping up with how much they were actually imbibing as servers replaced half empty bottles immediately.

Secondly, she, Sasuke, and even Naruto didn't have much of a taste for the food from the sand region, so they hardly had any food in them at all. She also noticed that Gaara was, for whatever reason, a particularly light eater.

But thankfully, it looked like she was saved. A few old men got up from the end of the table, a little wobbly, and walked up to Gaara, thanking him for the banquet, and bowing and shaking Naruto's hand. This led to a chain reaction until it was only the four of them at the end of the table and a few rowdy jounin types down on the other end who were a little too "happy" to notice the party was winding up.

"Does this mean the party's over?" Naruto grumbled, then brightened, "Ne ne, let's go to Gaara's house! We can relax and keep drinking there!"

"Don't just invite yourself, dummy. He might have things he needs to do. Plus, you've drank enough,” Sakura said, which are words that almost always have the opposite effect.

Naruto looked at Gaara, who proved himself to be a teenaged boy after all when he said, "I don't mind."

Despite her protests (and there were many. “We have to get up early tomorrow,” “I've had a long day,” “You guys just go without me since I'll just ruin your fun,”) she found herself on a cloud of sand next to her teammates and the Kazekage, the night air streaming by her face. As much as she felt she should still be complaining, she had to stop and be amazed at the view as she looked down at the city on her way to the palace.

They didn't call it a palace, but it sure seemed that way to her. There were certainly no buildings like that in Konoha, pre or post war.

Gaara laid them gently by the entrance and Sakura felt the tiny grains of sand being pulled away from her thighs. She fought the urge to brush them off even further.

She had never been farther than his marbled front room, but now they followed him through halls and breeze ways until they found themselves in a huge, cold kitchen. It was kind of weird to watch Gaara of the Sand dig around in cupboards for bottles of booze that Sakura couldn't even identify.

But as more and more began to line up on the counter in front of them, Sakura could only think, Not good.

Sakura decided to try for a distraction.

"Um, so, do you live here by yourself?"

"No," Gaara said from inside a cupboard.

"So... your brother and sister live here too?"

He pulled himself out with a bottle of wine in his hand, "Yes. And some advisors. People important to the government," Gaara said while giving her a look that said, 'why are you asking?'

"I was hoping Kankuro-san would return before we left. There's a few things in Chiyo-sama's scrolls that might interest him. You might be interested too, since she's your, um... relative."

"They will still be here when he returns. And I can peruse them at my leisure."

"It would have been fun to show him in person."

If Gaara had eyebrows, they would have been raised.

"She's just trying to distract you!" Naruto chimed in, putting his hands on Sakura's shoulders and steering her toward the refrigerator. She heard Sasuke snort.

"Ah," Gaara said, diving back in the cupboard.

"Sakura-chaaan, why don't you try to find something edible in here while I pour you a drink?"

"I’ll look for food, but I'm not drinking. I remember my vow."

"Ah, come on. Can't you just use medical jutsu to purify your blood if you get too sick or something?"

Maybe she could... Tsunade-sama certainly never seemed to get a hangover. She looked around the dark kitchen. Gaara seemed like he was done searching and satisfied with what he had found. They were all looking at her, waiting for her response.

"Maybe... one. But not like last time."

"Boo. I for one want you to get drunk and kiss someone."

"Naruto!" She grabbed his arms and lifted him over her head. He squawked and kicked his legs.

"You swore you'd never tell!" She cried, as she chucked him over the kitchen island, back into the dark hall. She heard the hiss of Gaara's sand running over the stone floor and a muffled thud where it cushioned Naruto's landing. But Gaara and Sasuke were both looking at her.

After a moment, Sasuke asked, "Who was it?"

"No one!"

Naruto crawled back in the room, "Sorry, Sakura-chan."

"Grrrr..."

"Now that we know, you might as well tell us who," Sasuke said. 

Maybe she didn't like this new, more sociable Sasuke after all. But he had a point, she thought, and it would seem even more childish not to tell.

"I'll tell you... After Naruto pours me a drink." 

"Yes mam'!"

"Let's take these into my room." Gaara said, grabbing two bottles of sake and walking into the hall. 

As they walked, Sakura continued to jab at Naruto, but he dodged out of the way, shrinking into the wall. 

Gaara's room was very formal. There was an entire living area with chairs and cushions and a table. Beyond it, a mostly unused bed and giant windows and a balcony door. He turned on the light and a chandelier sparkled to life.

"Wow. The hokage doesn't have anything like this."

"Some of my predecessors took advantage of their power," Gaara said as he set the bottles on the table.

In full light, she could see Sasuke's pale cheeks were flushed quite pink. How much had he drank without her noticing? Naruto and Gaara seemed more than fine though. She did remember Naruto drinking a LOT more than her to end up in the same state all those years ago... Maybe it was latent jinchuriki tolerance to foreign substances in the body?

They all sat down on the floor by the table, Sakura next to Gaara and Sasuke so she could glare at Naruto from across the table and make him sweat a bit. Naruto picked up a cushion, then said, "Oh, we need cups."

"I thought we could do it like this," Gaara said, then uncorked the sake bottle and tipped it to his mouth, the rope of the bottle wrapped around his hand.

"Ohh! Then you're next, Sakura-chan!"

"Then you have to tell," Sasuke said, glowering at her.

"Humph," she pouted, but she took the bottle from Gaara when he passed it. She took a long drink, ignoring the burn and the taste, trying to hold her breath for as long as she could.

"Easy," she heard Naruto say, but she figured since this was her only drink, she might as well make it count.

When she passed the bottle to Sasuke, she saw the boys were a little wide eyed, so she smiled a sparkly smile and batted her eyes sweetly at them while her stomach churned and the prickly warmth tried to crawl back up her throat.

"Drink up you all," she said in an overly chipper voice. I don't want you remembering any of this tomorrow.

Sasuke did, but as soon as the bottle left his lips, he said, "So?"

She sighed. Naruto snatched the bottle from Sasuke, then said, "I'll tell the story! You want me to?" 

She glared at him, then rolled her eyes, "Since you want to so much."

"Ok, it was two years ago. We were what, 15?" 

Sakura nodded.

"So it was teme's birthday-"

"Don't bring up that part!"

"But it's why we were drinking! Anyway, I saw Sakura-chan moping around the training field, so I took her to get some ramen and then the idea suddenly occurred to me. Why not forget our troubles for a while with booze? Ero-senin and Oba-chan did it all the time, so I figured it wasn't a totally stupid idea. So that's how I convince Sakura-chan into it. Not that she needed much convincing..."

Sakura raised her fist threateningly at him and he smiled and continued.

"So I steal the booze from ero-senin and Sakura drinks half of this big bottle of sake and I drink the other half and also this bottle of some weird foreign booze ero-senin picked up on his travels. So we were sitting around, giggling at each other, when I have the brilliant idea to take a walk and see if we can find anyone else that wants to join us."

"So we go out, although the stairs outside my apartment almost made it impossible to leave. I had to catch Sakura-chan from falling while holding on to the hand rail for dear life, but then we were ok when we got to the street."

Sakura remembered it did feel ok. They were holding hands the entire time, her swinging away from him and then back while they laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world.

"We walked a long time, and ended up on the east side of town where we ran into Kiba and Shino. I don't really remember what we said... We were trying to convince them to drink with us and we told them it was Sasuke's birthday and we were celebrating for him..."

Sakura remembered more, though she wished she didn't. She had started to cry in front of the shocked Kiba and Shino, telling them her most personal story, about how she begged Saskue to stay or let her go with him while Naruto wiped away tears of sympathy.

But then there actually was a gap in her memory because at some point, the mood had changed and she and Naruto were drunkenly teasing each other, stumbling around in front of Shino and Kiba, using their whole bodies to emphasize their words.

"You loooove Sasuke," Naruto said, waving his arms wide.

"No, yooou do."

"You do. You sooooo do. If you don't, then why don't you ever look at anyone else, huh? Yeh havena even had your first kiss yet!"

"And yooou have?"

Naruto smiled an odd, unfamiliar smile that threw her off, so she flipped her hair to hide it as he laughed. But the hair flip made her lose her balance and fall toward the curb. Kiba and Shino both dived toward her, but she regained her balance.

Back in the present, Naruto looked like he was struggling for details.

"Yeah, and for some reason, I dared you to kiss one of them! I don't remember why though..."

Shino had placed a steadying hand on her shoulder, while Naruto watched on with his chin cocked high.

"I bet you're saving it for Saauusuke!" He drawled, stretching his mouth wide with his fingers, baring his lower teeth in a mocking grimace.

She remembered she had feigned an air of casualness, shooting Naruto a withering glare (or as withering as she could manage while she was that drunk) then she threw her arms around Shino's neck and mushed their mouthes together. 

She held on for a few seconds before she fell away from the bug user, who was frozen in shock. Then she and Naruto laughed until she almost puked in the street.

Sasuke snapped her out of her reverie, "So who was it?"

"Shino!" Naruto shouted with mirth.

"He was closer," Sakura added dryly. The alcohol must have been kicking in, because she didn't feel nearly as embarrassed as she thought she would.

"Would you have preferred Kiba?" Naruto said, pulling on his face in a way that was very similar to the mocking one he made that night.

"Shut up, Naruto! You were the one taunting me that night anyway!"

"Taunting? I thought I dared you. Keh, anyway," he said, turning his attention to Sasuke, "The real victim is Shino. I don't think he's been able to look at her since then, although it's hard to tell, since he always wears dark glasses," Naruto said, cackling away.

"But then what happened?" Gaara asked.

"Ah... Well, we somehow got back to Naruto’s place and we fell asleep on the floor."

"And then we woke up so sick that Sakura-chan asked me to put her out of her misery!" Naruto said brightly, "and I would have asked her to do the same, but I couldn't stop throwing up long enough to make words."

"So we vowed to never drink again," Sakura said.

"And then your dad came and yelled at me," Naruto added sheepishly.

"What?"

Naruto smiled cheerfully. Too cheerfully, "Yeah, he came over and chewed me out for getting you drunk."

Sakura found herself rising to her knees, "I can't believe he did that! Why didn't you tell me?"

Naruto shrugged while she stared at him, looking for signs of emotional distress, but he seemed ok...

"It's ok. After he was done venting, he actually gave a good speech about looking out for your team mates and stuff. It reminded me of Kakashi-sensei."

"But you were still feeling bad that day! I'm going to talk to him about this when I get home."

"No, no, really, Sakura-chan! It's fine! Don't say anything!"

She frowned at him. He was showing a little of the drink. His tan skin wasn't flushing up like Sasuke's, but his eyes were bright and glassy.

Feeling a bit of light headedness creeping up on her as well, she decided not to go into it any more just then. She sat back down and said, "We'll see..." 

The conversation turned a little lighter, back to some of the old mischief team seven got into as genin, some old battles. She wasn't sure how long they had been there, but she wasn't feeling tired. She felt bad for Gaara, and tried to lead the conversation back to him as much as she could, but it seemed like team seven was intent on reminiscing, at least, Naruto was. But he seemed ok just listening. She had no idea if the alcohol was effecting him or not.

The bottle went round and round until it was gone and a new one replaced it. She considered asking them to slow down, especially considering that Gaara had never drank and he wasn't sure what effect it might have on him considering his history, but she knew they would just ignore her anyway.

Then, suddenly, when there was a lull in conversation, she remembered something.

“Hey, Naruto, you never told me who your first kiss was."

"Huh?"

"Back then, that night, you said... Well, you implied that you'd already kissed someone."

Obviously a little thrown at the change of subject, he leaned back, rocking a bit.

"Hm... I don't remember mentioning it, but I haven't! Had my first kiss, I mean."

"Have any of you kissed someone before?" she asked the table.

When she was met with silence and staring from everyone, she had her answer.

"Oh my God! How did this happen?" How were they all still pure when she let herself be taunted into losing hers? It wasn't fair. It should have been Sasukes!

You mean Naruto's, her mind corrected, much to her chagrin. 

"Well, I was hated by everyone in the village until kinda recently. Same for Gaara."

The red head nodded.

"Sasuke is the one with no excuse. He always had girls all over him," Naruto pouted, "Are you sure you didn't kiss some girls while you were away from the village?"

"I was busy," Sasuke said in his normal, serious voice, but there was this smirk on his face that didn't fade... It was almost like he was smiling.

How much had he had to drink?

"But the solution is obvious. If Sakura kisses us, then the problemss solved," Sasuke went on, slurring just a bit.

"I think not," Sakura said, but she felt Gaara sneaking a glance at her.

Sasuke took a gulp from the bottle, then set it down on the table.

"It's empty," he said.

Gaara was slumping further and further down onto the table while Sasuke leaned further back on his hands until he was practically lying down. Naruto still sat in front of her, their legs now touching under the table.

Sakura held her breath, but no one requested another one. Her heart did leapt when Sasuke suddenly stood, wobbling in place a bit.

"What's wrong, teme?" Naruto grumbled, his voice a bit gravelly from the alcohol.

Sasuke whispered something barely understandable, though Sakura caught the word bathroom at the end.

"Down the hall a few doors down. On the right hand side. There's no one else sleeping in this wing, so don't worry about going in the wrong door."

"Me too!" Naruto said, trying to jump to his feet, but loosing balance at the critical moment and banging his shins against the table.

"Ow..."

"Baka."

"Nyeehhh!”

And like that, Sakura watched them stumble after each other out of the room.

When they were gone, Sakura turned to Gaara.

"Sorry we're so rowdy. How are you doing?"

"I'm getting tired..."

"You seem alright. You're probably pay more attention to your energy level than most people though."

"Yes," he said, staring across the room. 

Sakura felt a little uncomfortable. She knew she would never have Naruto's ability for forming quick friendships with just about anyone, but Gaara seemed an especially difficult nut to crack. Heck, he made Sasuke seem polite and sociable.

Not that he was unpleasant and he definitely wasn’t scary anymore. He just seemed... serious.

"Maybe we should get out of your hair soon," she said, smiling through her unease, "I don’t even think I’m tipsy, so I can wrangle those two out of here."

"No, you're still welcome," he said, "I..."

"Hm?"

"I wish I'd been able to go to the academy," he said simply.

Sakura realized that she was tipsier than she thought because her eyes welled up with tears. When you were just sitting with Gaara, it was easy to forget how hard his life was before... He wasn't just ostracized, he was a demon to his people. He hadn't had any friends, let alone a team to support him...

Gaara looked back at her and his mouth fell agape. She wiped her eyes, but another line of tears came down.

"Why?" was all he asked.

"You... You can be a member of team seven whenever you want, ok?" Just saying the words make more tears fall down, but Gaara seemed to understand. He nodded.

A minute passed and the boys hadn't reappeared. 

"You're the first person who’s ever cried for me, the first person who’s not family... Although I think people have cried because of me," he quipped. But this only set Sakura off once more. But Gaara didn't seem to mind. He actually had a small smile on his face while he watched her.

She imagined that there was probably still a small sadistic streak somewhere in Gaara. At the very least, he didn't seem to mind a crying girl. That thought made her tears dry up somewhat, just in time to hear Naruto's voice, raised and echoing around the hall. She couldn't hear the words though.

Then there was a thud.

Idiots.

She and Gaara stood and to her satisfaction she was stable, but Gaara swayed.

"Nnn," he said, and careened to the right. Sakura jumped over the table and caught hold of him as he started to fall.

"I think it's only now kicking in. The alcohol," he clarified. There was another thump, a yell, and a little shutter through the walls.

"Are you ok? I can see if I can do something with my medical jutsu. Alcohol does work a bit like a poison."

"It's ok. I just couldn't stand. Here..." She heard the hiss of sand come from somewhere and suddenly he was leaning back into a cloud of it. Her hands on his shoulders sunk into it as well.

"Are you sure that's ok?"

"My mind is still clear enough, I believe. Let's go see what the problem is."

Sakura felt herself her feet sliding lightly across the floor, so she relinquished her hold and him and ran ahead into the hall.

 

* * * *

 

Sakura adjusted Sasuke on to her back as they walked down the steps of the mansion and into the softly lit streets of Sunagakure.

“Drink a lot of water and sleep in,” Sakura said by way of good-bye as the Kazekage sat at his front door in his floating chair of sand. They had denied his offer to fly them back to their quarters; Sakura thought flying through the air would be a little more perilous this time and she wasn’t up for the excitement.

Naruto stared at Gaara for a good long moment, with the Kazekage staring back with a blank expression. Sakura thought there must have some kind of manly, unspoken emotional osmosis going on, but then Naruto suddenly flung himself around Gaara’s shoulders. Sakura watched in bemused silence as Naruto mumbled something into Gaara’s back and the red headed boy’s pale hands slowly rose to hold Naruto’s back. 

After he let go, Naruto stumbled down the step, rubbing his nose and squinting his eyes.

“Good-bye, Naruto.”

“See you around, Gaara,” Naruto said, turning too quickly and stumbling a bit, Sakura darting over to help him regain his balance.

It wasn’t totally dignified, but it seemed to be a good enough farewell to Sakura.

As they walked down the street, Naruto seeming to manage by himself, although shuffling a bit here and there as he walked over uneven patches of road or sand, Sakura gently readjusted Sasuke so his face hooked over her shoulder instead of sliding around.

"I never thought I'd see him this vulnerable. Ever," Sakura said, her voice seeming quieter on the deserted streets.

"But haven't you noticed? He's been opening up lately. A lot."

"Humph, maybe to you, finally. He's still the same old cold Sasuke to me."

"That's not true!" Naruto cried, his voice echoing slightly. Sakura tried to shush him as he went on, "He talks to you now, without you having to ask him something. He looks at you. He talks ABOUT you, to me. He apologized to you. He's basically going out of his way to try and let you know you're important to him... Even though he would probably deny that's what he's doing," Naruto added thoughtfully at the end.

Sakura stared ahead and they walked in silence, aside from Sakura telling him to watch where he was going every now and then.

"I'm sorry I told him about the kiss,” Naruto said suddenly, “I don't know why I did. It's probably because I'm drunk.”

"I don't care about that. I'm angrier that you tricked me back then. I wouldn't have kissed Shino if you hadn't implied you had already kissed someone else."

"Ah... I actually don't remember that at all," he said grinning, "But I don't think Sasuke holds it against you."

"Yeah, but still. I would have rather it been you," Sakura said. 

Naruto stopped and she stopped.

She blushed at the intensity of his stare, at the casual way she mentioned kissing him, "It would have been right if it was you. I wouldn't have anything to regret, anyway,” she hedged.

"Sakura..." Naruto said, then clenched his fist, "I don't understand!" he suddenly yelled, causing another volley of shushes from Sakura, which he ignored.

"He's back! And I see you looking at him! But you keep saying stuff like this and touching me and looking at ME. I... don't know what you want," he finished softly.

"There's a lot of things I don't know either... Naruto... I love you. I want to be with you for so many reasons and I like making you happy. But I'm afraid..."

Sasuke shifted on her back, seeming like he might sit up, pressing against her shoulders suddenly, but after struggling for a moment, he nuzzled his face in the hair at the base of her neck, his breath touching her skin.

He was close to her ear, so she thought she might have been the only one to hear him say, "Sakura.... chan..."

Naruto was standing in the shadow of a building, still waiting.

"What are you afraid of, Sakura-chan?" He asked calmly, but determinedly, like he could fight whatever problem it was.

"I'm afraid I won't be able to love you right... Because of him. And everything that's happened. And then I'll lose you forever. That's what I'm afraid of."

He looked at her seriously, then he suddenly grinned, “You’re always worried about doing things right, Sakura-chan." He walked forward and clasped his hands around her arms, the arms that were holding up Sasuke.

"It's enough that you love me. Everything else..." He trailed off, then shrugged. He was still smiling.

"But there's no rush," he said, and began walking again, "If you need to think, you need to think. Unlike me and teme, here, you actually have a brain. One that's logical. So... just tell me when you're ready."

"Ok, Naruto..."

"But there is one thing... that you said."

"What is it?"

"I guess it's kind of my fault that your first kiss wasn't special or anything, but... I'd really like for you to be mine, no matter what happens."

"I'd like that too," Sakura smiled.

So she stood there as Naruto shyly walked up to her. Their feet touched, then he put one hand on her arm, then another on her cheek.

"You sure it's ok?" he asked. His breath, tangy with alcohol, caressed her lips and suddenly it was more than ok. If he didn't kiss her, she wasn't sure what she'd do.

"Please," she said. And then she was floating, not quite remembering what was happening, just feeling his lips on hers, his chest brush against her breasts lightly. She shifted her lips against his and he kissed her harder, but then he suddenly broke away, leaving the front of her body colder than it was before.

He smiled a rueful smile.

"It's kind of weird with stupid Sasuke breathing on my face," he said, shooting an annoyed look at the sleeping boy on her shoulder.

Then they laughed and Naruto held on to her wrist as they walked in the soft dark.

 

 

A/N:  
Sakazuki = those flat, saucer like cups that people use to drink sake from.  
Masu: wooden box cups that people also drink sake from (apparently, in the olden days, the wood tempered the flavor of the rougher tasting sake, but they're still used sometimes. I thought since Konoha was woodsy, it'd be cute if they drank from wooden cups.)  
Just to round us out, an ochocko is one of those small, cylindrical cups that are used the most over here at restaurants.

By the way, If you haven't noticed I've aged them up a bit because of the eventual content of this fic. Although that's still waaaay to young in real life, these characters feel a bit older than that in my head. If I hadn't wanted to set this directly after the war, I would have put them in their early twenties.


	6. Chapter 6 - Naruto

Naruto walked up to where his tree house used to stand on the outer realm of Konoha, only to find it replaced with a block of shops and restaurants.

"Heeeeh!?"

"Oh wow. Looks like you're homeless."

"They can't do that!" He shouted at the shops, making a few passersby turn to stare.

"You have everything you own on your back, dobe. What's the problem?"

"The problem is where am I gonna live, idiot!"

"I'm sure they've already assigned you a place," Sakura said, stepping between them with her hands up. But that didn't stop the shouting.

"But I wanted to pick myself..." Naruto whined loudly.

"Well... maybe they didn't," she back pedaled.

"Then where am I supposed to live!?"

Sakura sighed, "There's only one way to find out!"

The three tired, dirty, and generally irritable ninjas trudged to headquarters, looking very dingy in comparison to the shiny newness of Konoha.

"And if there's no place for you, you can always stay with one of us until you figure it out," Sakura added.

"Nyee-hee-hee. I wouldn't mind staying with you Sakura-chan."

"I'm sure Ino would love that," Sakura rolled her eyes.

"You'll stay with me. It's not like I don't have room."

Naruto shrugged. But he couldn't help grinning at Sakura still. By the end of the way home, Sasuke and Sakura had both reached their limit of patience. They had spent a few too many nights in sleeping bags and the lack of privacy directly affected both Naruto and Sasuke's level of bickering. Without Kakashi-sensei to quiet them down, it was up to Sakura to play mediator and she was starting to use fists more than words, even going as far as grabbing Sasuke by his collar and giving him a good shake.

To Sasuke's credit, he stood there and let her. If that wasn’t proof that he had calmed down then nothing was.

When the trio arrived at HQ, the secretary didn't bother to look up from her paperwork to answer him.

"We've completely done away with all temporary structures," she said without empathy, staring hard at a form she was filling out.

"But I was gone on a mission for over a month! Where am I supposed to live?"

The secretary glanced up, saw his face, and was suddenly smiling and radiant.

"Oh, Naruto!" she gasped, raising half way out of her seat. Her hand was resting against her throat and she was more than a little starry eyed. Naruto couldn't quite hide his grin, even as he felt Sakura glaring at him.

"Well, we- we have plenty of empty real estate properties for you to choose from! I've got the different apartment buildings and floor plans here somewhere..."

Naruto felt his team mates shifting in place and, keeping in mind the last few days of their journey, he said, "Can I come back tomorrow? We're just back from a mission and-"

"Of course! You need to rest! And probably a shower! Not that you smell bad- not that I'm smelling you! I mean, I would smell you," she babbled.

Only Sakura's evil aura kept him from laughing out loud. It was hard to pretend not to notice half of the village was acting like Hinata around him.

"We're leaving then?" Sasuke asked, shouldering his pack again.

"Ok! See you tomorrow then, or whenever you feel like coming back," the girl said, oblivious to the mood of his teammates.

"Do you think she liked him, Sakura?" Sasuke asked in a quiet monotone voice that seemed to grate at Naruto worse than being mocked outright. Worn down from being dirty and tired, Sakura was barely containing her annoyance, but apparently Sasuke had recovered enough energy to be sarcastic.

"I don't know, Sasuke-kun. If she did, she was too subtle for me to tell."

Naruto turned around and stuck his tongue out at them, "You're just jealous that I'm the popular one now and everyone's over your fake-broody crap."

"Hey," Sakura said, "In fairness, I don't think Sasuke-kun’s brooding was fake."

It wasn't like she was defending his looks or anything, but Sasuke smirked at him and it took a lot not to tell him that Sakura was over his brooding too. But then again, maybe she wasn't. Naruto wasn't really sure what she meant by saying she couldn't love him right because of Sasuke. But he meant what he said. Just the fact that she told him that she loved him as more than a friend was enough for him.

"What're you looking at, baka?" Sakura scolded him. He was still walking backward, staring at her. 

"Nothing, Sakura-chan," Naruto said innocently and waited for her to catch up so he could walk beside her, "So... about that shower I don't need," he said lowly, staring at her profile while they walked, "Do you want me to take it at your place?"

She blushed indignantly, but Sasuke saved her from answering.

"At my place, unfortunately."

"You sure you're ok with that?" he teased and caught the casual fist Sakura tossed in his direction.

"Don't you ever get tired of sexually harassing your teammate?" Sasuke sighed.

"Are you mad that I only focus on Sakura?"

Naruto actually felt kind of bad for Sasuke. When things got serious between him and Sakura, he would be the one most surprised by it. He had no idea how the most intense member of team 7 was going to cope with that. Stoically, probably. It’s not like he ever had feelings for her. If anything, he would probably be jealous of all the time Naruto was planning on spending with Sakura once the kissing started. He smiled and missed whatever retort Sasuke said back to him.

At the intersection, Sakura was headed in a different direction to get home. The end of a mission always felt strange to Naruto. The strong connection he felt with his team seemed like it broke a little when they returned to the village. They stood in a little circle.

"Naruto... Request more Team 7 missions, ok?" Sakura said.

He nodded, then impulsively threw his arms around her, squeezing her, rucksack and all. He could barely hear her whisper, "We did it,” in his ear. And he knew she wasn't talking about the mission, but the black haired boy behind him.

When he let go, they both looked over at Sasuke, who eyed them suspiciously, like he suspected they might jump him next. They both laughed.

Sakura clasped Sasuke’s arm briefly.

"Bye, then... I love you guys," she added impulsively before skipping away, hopping on to the closest building and disappearing from sight.

Every cell in Naruto's body wanted to chase her down and kiss her until they both passed out from lack of air. He was used to fighting that impulse, but now that he knew she had feelings for him, it was even harder to not say all the things he'd been thinking since he’d met her. As he watched her leave, he felt a thrill of energy prickle from his toes, to his gut, to the back of his eyes, and even up to his hair. It was the thrill he felt any time something really amazing was happening to him.

He felt Sasuke begin to walk and he trailed behind him absently, sensing everything. Thinking how intense the sun felt to him, and how everybody was doing a good job making the village look like the old one, but nicer. How the air smelled like fresh cut timber, despite very little timber actually being cut. Then the smell of roasted meat wafted over to him and reminded him that even though he was tired, he still had other needs.

"Is there any food at your house?" He asked Sasuke's back.

"We were just on a month long mission, what do you think?"

"We'd better stop somewhere then."

"Take out?" 

"Nnn, I don't wanna wait. Instant ramen?"

"Tch!" He heard, but then came a reluctant, "Fine."

They stopped at a small convenience store and bought their items in silence and then they were on their way home again.

"Have you gotten a bed yet?" 

Sasuke turned and raised an eyebrow, "Even if I had, you wouldn't be sleeping in it."

"But you don't."

"No."

"And no mattress."

"No."

"Or tatami mats."

"...I like the wood bare."

"SO I’M BASICALLY STILL CAMPING THEN!?"

Sasuke said nothing.

Naruto grumbled, "Even grass is softer than those floors."

"So sleep outside."

Naruto frowned deeply and glared at the boy who was now beside him rather than in front of him.

"Why don't you take your paycheck tomorrow and buy some furniture. Sakura could come help. She probably needs some stuff too. Then we can go find me a place to live..."

"We don't have to do everything as a team."

"I was going to invite Sakura-chan over tomorrow anyway, so you can just go by yourself if you don't want company."

"You're going to invite someone over to my house," he said, quietly.

"Don't be such a pain in the ass! You need furniture!"

"You just don't want to sleep on the floor."

"Damn straight!"

Sasuke was quiet for a moment, but as his house came into view he suddenly said, "Naruto."

"What?"

He didn’t answer right away and Naruto realized he was holding his breath. He didn’t like the way Sasuke said his name rather than his usual insults. The same sense that had perked up and made him feel so alive when he saw Sakura was telling him that Sasuke was about to throw a serious mood destroyer his way.

"What?" he repeated.

Sasuke continued to walk until they reached his gate, then turned to face him. Naruto saw some emotion flicker in his eyes, but then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a key.

"Never mind."

Naruto squinted at him, but said no more. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

Inside, they made their ramen while Naruto complained about the time it took to boil water to fill the silence. He mostly stared around at the big, open structure Sasuke had built with its rag tagged colored wooden beams in the ceiling. A little bit of prying led Sasuke to reveal that this was supposed to be several rooms, but he had messed up and made the ceiling too high and angled and could no longer divide it up.

"Maybe Yamato-sensei can fix it for you," Naruto suggested, but he was met with silence.

Seeing that Sasuke was descending into some kind of mood that might qualify as his own version of post mission blues, Naruto decided to let him be and make a claim on the bath.

"It's outside," Sasuke said, standing with his ramen in the kitchen and pointing toward a second door. Naruto opened it, only to be greeted by a small, fenced in square with a hose and some fire wood and a big rusty barrel propped up on two cinder blocks.

"What the hell is this?!" Naruto asked, staring gape mouthed at the barrel.

"You see how far you get trying to install you own bath tub," Sasuke said, leveling him with an evil glare.

"But you have a toilet!"

"A civilian installed it. Along with the sinks. The room for the tub wasn't done yet."

"It's not done now!" He shouted, then sighed, "Fine. I assume you're using a fire jutsu to heat the water? Are you sure it won't burn through this hunk of tin?"

Sasuke nodded. 

"Ok. Well, I guess I've got to fill it..." Naruto saw that the spigot was right beside the door and turned on the water. The hose lurched into life and he heard it begin to burble into the bottom of the barrel. He flung his shirt over his head and to the side when he saw Sasuke was standing at the door.

"I'm going to take a bath now," he said, his pants joining his shirt on the grass. He saw a few huge gaps in the fence with green fields behind it and was glad this side of town wasn't very developed yet.

Sasuke was still standing there, this time staring at Naruto pretty determinedly.

"Look, are you just going to stand there? The barrel’s too small to share, so you're just gonna hafta wait your turn," he said with his hands on his hips.

"Do you think Sakura is still in love with me?"

Naruto felt his insides freeze. That was not an idle question. Nor was Sasuke pretending it was, standing there, staring at him in his underwear.

"Um..."

Why the hell would teme ask him now, when things were so close to being how he dreamed? With his friend who was like his brother on one side and the girl he loved on the other? After he had fought so hard for it to be exactly like this...

Sasuke seemed to be ready to stand in the doorway forever. But Naruto was saved by a knock on the front door.

"Why are you asking me that, teme?" he replied impulsively and pushed past him to answer the door.

He felt Sasuke right behind him as he wrenched open the handle, praying for a lifeline out of this conversation. But to his surprise, there stood Sakura, still unshowered with her pack and dirty clothes. 

"That idiot Ino-pig kicked me out!"

 

A/N: I always write his chapters short, har har har. I'm not sure what I can do about that though... I’ve been holding on to this one trying to lengthen it up, but I finally gave up ;-;. The next one is half-way written though, so I’ll see you soon (or you’ll see me… or it… blargh!)


	7. Chapter 7

 

Sasuke heard the ruckus before he got to the door.

"What?! Did you and Ino get in a fight or something?" Naruto exclaimed, his form slightly bent toward Sakura, who was standing in the door way.

Sakura's answer was only slightly softer, "No... Not exactly, but, stupid Ino-pig moved out while I was gone! Someone else, some kid chuunin was living there at the apartment and then I had to track her down and find out where she went!”

Sasuke chose to that moment to interrupt, "Invite her in already," he chided, “Unless you like having the whole neighborhood listen in on your business.”

Naruto backed out of the way and Sakura came inside, flushed and still dirty from their trip.

“Why are you in your underwear?” she asked Naruto as they tramped to the empty kitchen. Sasuke took his ramen off of the counter and began to eat again. Sakura looked at him like she might be waiting for him to give the ok to start talking, but he wasn't sure about what he was supposed to say. Go ahead, maybe? But Naruto saved him.

"Tell us what happened," he said, hopping on to the counter.

"Well, like I said, someone else was living at the apartment when I got back, so I went to Chouji and Shikamaru's place to try to track her down, but they had moved too. Then I checked where her old house used to be, you know, attached to the flower shop? And there she was, along with those other two as well! I guess they all had some serious bonding moments while I was gone and decided to move in together!"

"But what about your stuff?" Naruto asked.

"I didn't have much aside from some new books Tsunade-sama gave me, but she said she dropped them in my locker at the hospital."

"Well, it's kinda out of nowhere, but at least they're all getting along again.”

"I know... I kind of just wished she would have waited. And..." Sakura glanced to the side, tilting her head.

"And what?" Sasuke asked.

"Nothing, really... Just some stuff someone told me. It's not related. But anyway," she pressed on, "Now I have to house hunt too!"

"Sweet! We can find apartments right next door so we can be neighbors!" Naruto said, pushing himself up off the counter with his arms and kicking his legs.

Sakura smiled, then bit her lip, looking up at Sasuke from under her eyelashes. Sasuke suppressed a sigh; it was the same look she wore when she was trailing after him all those years ago.

"You can stay here until you find somewhere," he said.

Sakura took a breath of relief, "Thanks, Sasuke-kun. I think my parents are thinking about staying in the country permanently now that they've retired."

Sasuke shrugged. He didn't mind and he had actually forgotten that she had somewhere else to go.

"Yeah, Sakura! You can even use the bath first! You'll get a kick out of this; just wait til you see it."

Sasuke let them go, unsure what to make of this unexpected situation. Two months ago, as they left for their mission, he wrestled with the idea that he might have liked Sakura. As a friend. Which was weird, but ultimately a good thing, he decided. She was now a fairly powerful ally and she wasn't the same as she was when he left five years ago. She was calmer now, although still a little emotionally volatile. But probably no worse than any female, and as far as that went, she was the only girl he could think of that he could tolerate being stuck with.

Then they made it to Suna. On their first night there, they were invited to a small, family style dinner with the Kazekage and his family. Naruto, who was way too excited to see the red haired sand-brat, had jumped into the seat on Gaara's right. Then, the puppet-master called Kankuro offered Sakura the seat on Gaara's left, which she accepted, then plopped down beside her without hesitation. 

That irked him.

As Sasuke sat down beside Naruto, and Gaara's sister sat at the other end of the table, he knew he didn't particularly want to sit beside Sakura, but he had a hard time figuring out why he was annoyed.

Because it was a room full of strangers, for one, his mind finally supplied. Strange to him, at least. Naruto and Sakura were both acting pretty familiar with their hosts. Kankuro's chair was very close to Sakura's and Naruto was practically sitting on Gaara's lap. But the way she was smiling at Kankuro was a bit too familiar... She never smiled at anyone like that outside of Team 7. 

Aside from answering a few direct questions, Sasuke stayed silent for the rest of the night. It was the second time Sakura had made him uncomfortable. And he didn't like uncomfortable. Naruto wasn't helping things, either; being overly friendly to the Kazekage and generally making a fool of himself until he could barely stand to watch him anymore. But he couldn't get mad in a room of foreign delegates, so he stewed until he and Naruto were led to the bedroom they'd be sharing and were left alone.

The room was luxurious, he could say that much for Suna. The beds were huge and covered in plush pillows. Layers of sheer, golden drapes hanging from the posts of the beds would allow for a little privacy between them while they were there, even though they were sharing a room. There were thick carpets, couches and shelves full of books and baubles. It was obvious that their hosts wanted them to think well of them.

We’re probably only sharing rooms because they want Naruto to babysit me, he thought irritably.

 

"Do you think it's safe to have Sakura's room so far away from ours?" Sasuke asked, kicking off his sandals as Naruto disrobed in his usual, hit by a tornado way.

"Neeh? Why wouldn't it be?"

"That Gaara's brother seemed really interested in her."

"Yeeheehee, Sakura-chan would be overjoyed if she heard that."

"Sakura likes that guy?"

"No, it's what you just said. You sounded pretty possessive, Sasuke-kun," Naruto drawled, feigning a Sakura type lilt in his voice, "You wouldn't happen to be jealous, would you?"

"Baka."

"Hmmm... I don't know..." Naruto teased.

"Go to sleep so I can have a moment’s peace already. You've been chattering nonstop since we got here."

"Geh heh heh, ok Sasuke-kuuun," Naruto said as he hopped into his bed, not bothering to close the drapes. Sasuke turned off the light and fell into his own bed, sinking into the deep pile of fluff and silk. Chilly air floated through two open windows and he took deep gulps of it as he tried to relax enough to sleep.  
He wasn't jealous, he thought, staring up at the dark ceiling. You have to have strong feelings to be jealous.

And Naruto had annoyed him just as much, slobbering on Sabaku no Gaara like he was his long lost brother.

And he definitely wasn't jealous over Naruto.

The weeks passed without incident after that. The Kazekage and his family were busy, after all. Naruto spent his days much like he did in Konoha; being congratulated and grinning stupidly at high ranking officials and civilians alike. Sakura spent all but her meals in the hospital or the library where she sorted through old medical scrolls and trained other ninja . Sasuke followed Sakura into the archives a few times, but he mostly trailed after Naruto, listening to politicians and trade arrangements, deciding who was fair and who he needed to have words with Naruto about before they went to bed.

Then that last night. Well, if Sakura or Naruto had bothered to ask him afterwards, he would have joined in on their vow to never drink again.

It was the temptation of some liquid quieting his mind for a while that led him to his first few glasses. And quiet it got. 

Somehow, that made things worse.

When his mind was quiet, he noticed the incredible bond Naruto and Sakura had. It was something that he was partially responsible for, since his departure had only united them together. He felt the same way that he felt when he was a child: on the outside. Before, being outside seemed important. It was part of his training and his purpose. His darkness separated and elevated him to a different level.

But through his drunken perception, the outside was not the place to be. The only people he wanted were Sakura and Naruto and there were no two people more inside of society than them.

So he drank more, thinking maybe he could reach the higher level of drunkenness that would let him feel relaxed and happy, the way other people seemed to be when they were drunk. Some parts of his memory were fuzzy, but he couldn't forget what was surely the worst part of that night.

Naruto had left him propped against a wall in the breezeway at the Kazekage’s house while he was in the bathroom. He wasn't walking too well and Naruto was hardly better, but he was less drunk, so he was in charge.

Naruto came out and turned the light off, leaving them in open air moonlight. It felt like the floor was sliding around under him, but the cold air cleared his mind a little.

"Ready to get up?" Naruto asked, and grabbed his arms, not waiting for a reply.

"Did you wash your hands?" Sasuke asked, but Naruto didn't seem to hear him. He was on his feet, but his legs weren't doing anything but propping him up.

"You've been a tense bastard this trip, you know that?" Naruto said, "I'm glad you got to loosen up around Gaara finally."

"I'd hate for your boyfriend to have a bad impression..."

"What was that?" Naruto chuckled.

"I'd hate for your BOYFRIEND, Gaara, to have a BAD impression of me."

"Stop shouting, teme! You've sure gotten jealous since you came back. First Sakura, now me... Plus all that business with Sai before. What's going on with you?"

"I don't have anything anymore. The village will be fine thanks to you. Tell me what I should do now? What do I have besides you and-"

"What? What are you murmuring about?"

Sasuke heard him sigh. He didn't seem to understand anything he was saying. There was nothing new there, but the one time he wanted to talk, the least Naruto could do was hear him.

In slow motion, Sasuke felt himself swing his arm. He was shocked when it actually connected. He didn't see Naruto fall away from him lost his balance and fell into the wall. He heard the bang from where Naruto landed and he thought he heard him spring back up. 

He didn't remember anything after that.

The next day, even with his terrible hangover pains, he managed to be grateful that Naruto hadn't heard what he said. Too bad HE couldn't forget his own words.

Now they were both in his house, under his roof. Naruto had come back from showing Sakura the bath and sauntered into the kitchen, smiling and still shirtless. It looked like he left his dirty laundry to be mixed in with Sakura's.

"She's hosing off, then she's gonna use my hot water," Naruto said, "That was nice of you to let her stay here. I thought I was going to have to beat you into submission before that offer came out of you."

"Tsk. As long as you two aren't too noisy, I don't care."

"What's it going to be like being under the same roof with Sakura-chan...?" Naruto sighed happily as he walked to the kitchen cupboard to peruse his small, recently acquired ramen collection. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"What are you talking about? You just spent a week in a tent with her.”

Naruto peeked around the cabinet door to give him a wry smile, "You just don't understand," he said.

Sasuke thought that maybe he was beginning to.

“Speaking of…” Naruto said with a false sounding casualty that Sasuke could see through from a mile away, “Why did you ask… earlier, right before Sakura-chan came in… Why did you ask that?”

I don’t know, “I thought she was acting strange and I was worried how it might effect the team.”

Naruto sighed deeply, leaning into the counter. He really needed to learn not to wear his heart on his sleeve.

“That’s all, teme? Jeeze. I thought something real happened. Unless… did something happen between just the two of you? While we were camping or-“

“No. I just thought she seemed different,” he lied.

“You’re the different one,” Naruto said, cheerful once more, heating more water for another cup of ramen.

God, I hope not.

\- - - - - -

After baths and dinner, they all spread out on the floor wearing the last of Sasuke’s clean clothes and started to scribe a shopping list for the next day. Supplies of everything from groceries to clothes were still limited, but Sakura still dutifully took pen to paper, writing down their wants and needs: Clothes, towels, sandals, metal polish, polishing cloths, weighted steel shuriken (1 dozen), pillows, blankets, mattresses, furniture in general, soap, shampoo, conditioner, leave-in conditioner, lotion, estimate for bathtub installation, groceries…

Sasuke thought they might as well have been writing down their hopes and dreams. They were just as likely to find them out shopping as they were the contents of her list. Also, stopping by the realtor for Naruto and Sakura somehow got left off, but Sasuke didn’t think it was necessary to correct that error yet.

What they ended up bringing home the next day was a few bags of loosely fitting black clothes, bar soap, and a lot of instant noodles. There had been a brief hopeful moment when Naruto saw a plain cut, but very yellow jacket at the store, but in the end, he let Sasuke and Sakura talk him out of buying it on the grounds that yellow was not quite orange.

 

The day wasn’t exactly wasted, but it wasn’t really productive either, aside from possibly getting a real bathtub installed soon. 

They were heading home, their arms full of bags and their eyes squinted against the late afternoon sun when Sakura pulled them to a halt.

“Guys, look,” she said, pointing to a tiny square sign on the other side of the street.

“Neh? A Fabric store?” Naruto sighed.

“We should go in. None of our clothes have our family insignia on it,” she said.

“Oh yeah. It has been weird not seeing the fan on Sasuke’s back.”

Sakura agreed, “And we all have a few things that fit now. It wouldn’t hurt to see what they have… although I don’t actually know what we’d need to make them.”

“Mine was just a patch. An old lady used to make them for me, at the old fabric store,” Sasuke supplied.

“Oh, that’s easier than I thought. My mom hand stitched them, back in the day.”

“My mom did that too,” Sasuke said, immediately causing a hollow feeling in his chest.

Why did I say that? he thought, wiping away the cold sweat that had appeared on the back of his neck.

“Oh,” Sakura said. She glanced at Naruto and then back at him, then recovered her normal expression, “Well, I guess we can ask if they make custom patches there.”

 

\+ + + +

 

When they got home, they piled their bags high on the kitchen counter.

“I’m starving,” Naruto complained, “Why is shopping so tiring?”

“I’ll go get our packs,” Sakura said, opening the back door to bring inside their freshly aired out sleeping bags and luggage.

“But at least now I have my own clothes,” Naruto said, organizing the ramen in a personal system that only he could understand before Sasuke stacked them away into the cupboard.

“I liked you cosplaying Sasuke’s genin look,” Sakura said, plopping three sleeping bags on the living room floor.

“Oh, then do you like this?” Naruto’s face fell into an irritable expression, letting the high black collar cover his cheek partially before he slowly turned to look at her.

“Usuratonkachi,” he said, making his voice as low as he could.

Sakura squealed, clapping her hands and then laughingly exclaimed, “You’re pretty good at that!”

Naruto broke into a grin, then recovered his scowl.

“Sakura,” he said, capturing Sasuke’s cadence fairly well and she clapped again.

“Baka,” Sasuke said.

Naruto turned to him and mugged, “Baka,” and then added, for good measure, “Dobe.”

Sasuke shoved him while the two of them laughed.

Dinner passed quickly again and Sasuke avoided looking at the others too much. The easy way he had mentioned his mother earlier scared him. He felt lighter… somehow, but also empty. 

That part of my life is done. No reason to think about it anymore.

Despite dedicating most of his life to avenging his parents, he had actually managed to not think about them very often. If things started bubbling up… he wasn’t sure what he would do about it. He wondered how something could feel good and bad at the same time.

Just forget. Forget. Forget.

That night, Naruto and Sakura laid their sleeping bags out in the living room again as he retired to his bedroom. He heard them laughing and talking quietly as he laid on the floor and he felt his mind slip away into quiet for the first time since that afternoon. He fell asleep before he realized it.

He woke up a pitch black room, barely able to make out the wooden beams on his ceiling, not quite sure if he was still dreaming. There was a slight creak from beyond his door, the sound of a door sliding against it’s frame… and sliding closed. He knew it was probably Naruto going to the bathroom or Sakura getting water, actions that had woken him many times while they were camping last week, but he had lived alone for too long to hear someone creeping in his house and not investigate.

Adrenaline filled his veins as he silently slipped into the hall, peeking around the corner to the living room where Naruto was sprawled half out of his sleeping bag, his leg stretched horizontally from his body.

Sakura’s sleeping bag was mushed into an empty ball beside him. After a stealthy circuit around the house, he saw the backdoor had been unlocked…

Why was Sakura out at this time of night?

Sasuke left the wheezing Naruto behind and slipped into the night. The back gate was open as well and gave him some indication of where she may have gone. The night was loud with bugs and frogs, creatures that had returned as the city was destroyed. Every step where long grass brushed his shins was once someone’s home or street. As he stalked through the uninhabited fields behind his house, he avoided little bits of debris; planks of wood, nails, roof tiles. 

He saw her from a few yards away. She had walked away far away from the ambient light of the streets and stood staring up at a moonless sky. Dressed in his black clothes, she was a ghostly figure of long white limbs floating in darkness. Her pale hair was stuck together in places from sleep and fell a little past her shoulders, just above where the Uchiha symbol would rest.

He felt his heart pounding. Sakura. Bearing the Uchiha symbol…

Stupid, he thought, she doesn’t deserve the privilege or the burden.

“Is that you, Sasuke-kun?” she asked. She was so still, he thought he might have imagined it. “Did I wake you?”

“I felt someone moving around the house,” he said.

“Sorry,” she said, “I just wanted to get out for a while. I thought I heard you behind me.”

She swung her arms a little and Sasuke sighed, letting out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. He hadn’t thought about it when he was chasing her, but it suddenly occurred to him that maybe this wasn’t normal Sakura behavior, walking around at night and posing in fields like some sort of specter. That maybe something was wrong.

“Is… Are you alright?” he asked.

“Oh yeah. We didn’t do much today, so I’m just not tired yet,” she turned toward him, “It’s so quiet inside the house. Konoha isn’t noisy anymore... sometimes it freaks me out.”

He thought he heard her sigh as she began to walk towards him, the swish of grass under her feet, her face growing a little clearer with each step.

“It’s dark,” Sakura whispered, more to herself than anything else as she staggered over some unseen obstacle.

“There’s no moon,” he reminded her.

“Yeah. I’m kind of glad though. I don’t really see the moon the same way since the last battle.”

Sasuke nodded. They were face to face for a moment before he turned to walk with her, back towards the house.

“It’s crazy when I stop and think about it. About you two fighting… and how powerful you both are… the most powerful ever.”

“I’m not sure about ever,” Sasuke said. 

“Are you kidding me?” Sakura said with hushed irritation, “Name one person, living or dead, who’s stronger than you and Naruto now.”

Sasuke smiled despite himself. It was easier to talk like this, when faces were dimmed and there was nothing to see on the horizon. It felt like being in a different world.

“My brother was a prodigy. There had never been anyone as talented as he was. And when Kakashi was young, he was called a once in a generation ninja. Now we’re more powerful than both of them, but there’s probably already some genin who will surpass us all one day. Every generation grows stronger than the last.”

Sasuke paused. He didn’t realize he felt that way, but after finding the words, he realized that they were his honest thoughts. 

“From now on, our job will be even harder,” he continued, “Not only do we have to give the next generation our strength, but we have to convince them not to make our mistakes. We’ll have to protect their souls.”

“That’s scary to think about… trying to mold kids stronger than the two of you…” then Sakura laughed, “It makes me feel more sympathy for Kakashi-sensei.”

“I’ve been feeling that way towards him for a while. I haven’t gotten a chance to talk to him alone yet.”

“Maybe before your next mission? If you can track him down… After tomorrow, I start back at the hospital and I’m sure you and Naruto are going to be busy…”

“We should train tomorrow,” Sasuke said absently, “I don’t want you getting weak again. Since you spend all your time at the hospital, I might have to take your training into my own hands to keep you on your toes.”

“That’s not funny, you know.” They had reached the back gate, still left open. Sakura was frowning, “That’s the second time you’ve made that joke and I’m starting to think you mean it. Let me remind you who won in our last sparring session.”

“Your last victory against me, dobe.”

“Dobe?!” 

“Shhh!”

She grabbed his arm playfully and he pulled away, dashing alongside the fence before leaping over it and then on to the roof. Sakura was right behind him, so he stopped suddenly, causing her to bump into his back as she tried to land.

“Eeek!”

“Careful,” he chided, grabbing on to her arm before she could spill backwards over the edge of the roof. She pulled away to find steadier footing and toss her hair.

“Hmph! You be careful, teme. If you start treating me like Naruto, I might have to start beating up on you like he does.”

Sasuke shook his head and found himself waving her over to him. Suspicious, she edged toward him and, in the dark, found herself walking directly into his finger, poking her forehead with no small amount of force.

“Hey!” she complained.

He was smiling when he did it, but then he felt strange and sad as she backed away, rubbing her forehead. Why was he doing this? Bringing up these old memories?

Sakura was mumbling, half to him, half to herself, “Messing with my forehead now, huh…? I know it’s a big enough target, but still, that doesn’t mean you should poke it... I think you scratched me… Wait until I get my hands on you in the daylight... I’m gonna tell Kakashi-sensei you guys are bullying me…”

“Here,” Sasuke said, grabbing her hand and dragging it away from her forehead. He pressed his thumb to the affected spot, “You’re ok.”

She stopped muttering. He could feel how warm she was. The night was like a blanket against the outside world and the sting of his memories didn’t feel as terrible when she stood so close.

He let his thumb fall from her forehead to run between her wide eyes, down the slope of her nose.

Sakura seemed to be reading his mind. He never thought of her as particularly intuitive, but she was standing there, quiet, staring into his eyes as though entranced. So easy. His thumb traced the crease of her lips. It would be so easy for him to take her. And maybe that would be the beginning of some peace.

He touched his lips to hers. He didn’t feel anything. Sakura was utterly still. Was this what it was supposed to feel like? There was an invisible wall between them and he had no idea how to penetrate it and get to the feeling that was drawing him to her in the first place. He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her tight to his chest. That felt better, closing the distance a little. He kissed her harder. She gasped, opening her mouth slightly beneath him. For a second, her tongue touched his lip.

Just like that, the pressure changed. He pressed the tip of his tongue to hers. She gasped again and he took advantage, kissing her with his whole mouth. He felt something new. It was just their faces, their lips, their bodies pressing together, but it felt… good. Her hands found the sides of his neck, her tiny nails lightly scratching his skin. He thought the sensation might kill him. Even as he thought, What is this? he knew he didn’t want it to stop. He’d let himself die first.

His hands roamed her back; he had to, needed to, get closer. He pulled her hips to align with his and their legs tangled together, until she was straddling his thigh. Sakura had arched against him completely and he held her to his chest and he leaned over her pressing closer and harder.

Sakura made a little sound, and brushed her leg against his thigh, hooking it around him when she suddenly stiffened. The last thing he felt was gooseflesh rise on her arms as she leapt away from, almost losing her footing on the edge of the roof when she landed. 

“Sasuke-kun…” she gasped.

He strode over to her and she put her hands straight out against his chest, keeping him at arm’s length. He wrapped his hands around her wrists.

“You know how I feel about you,” she said quickly, “But I can’t. Naruto… It’s… I can’t do that to Naruto. He loves me and I love him.”

Sasuke could barely concentrate. His senses were on fire; the sound of crickets, the warm air, her hands against his chest all clouded his mind, leaving room for not much else. Beyond that, there was a feeling totally new building up inside of him, one he’d heard of often, but never felt himself. His hands dropped to his sides and repeated her words over and over in his head until they took some meaning. 

“You’re… together? With Naruto?”

“Not yet. I’m still… God… The explanations don’t matter. All I can say is that I just can’t betray him like that,” she said. Even in the dark, he could see her lips were swollen and deep red from their kiss.

He took a step forward against the press of her hands. She couldn’t back up anymore without falling off of the roof. “If you’re not with him, how is it betrayal?”

“Because he loves me and I love him. I’ve already decided.”

His confusion was starting to drain his other feelings. Thinking was getting easier, but, an unwelcome cold sensation was beginning to spread through him.

“Then why aren’t you together?” he pressed.

“I’m just…” Sakura looked almost frightened. Sasuke thought she might run away and he felt like he would be within his rights to chase her if she did, but then something changed. She suddenly had a strange look on her face.

She stared into his eyes, her jade eyes glittering and angry, “You already know why. Why are you trying to make me say it? …Again,” she added darkly.

“No. I don’t.”

“Sasuke…” she said, and for a moment, her voice was so deep and angry she sounded a bit like Naruto in the middle of a fight, “You… IDIOT!”

Her hand moved quickly. One moment she was holding him back, the next she had tightened her hands on the lapels of his shirt and he was flying face first toward the other side of the roof. He flipped and landed quickly. She was already yelling at him. 

“Why do you think you can do whatever you want?! Why am I the one who has to stay the same?! Why?”

She jumped to the ground and ran through the gate where she left his line of sight. He waited to hear the sound of a door slamming or more shouting to erupt from inside, but she disappeared as silently as she had been when he first saw her in the field.

Sasuke sat and pressed his face against his knees until stars behind his eyes. His hands trembled as he gripped his shoulders.

“What the hell is happening to me...?” he whispered. “Mom... Mom...?”

 

A/N: Haha, this chapter needed more work than I thought. Sorry for the time it took. I’m nervous to say this again, but the next chapter is actually almost done. I know, that’s what I said last time. But this chapter is all piece-y and the next is pretty much just one big scene taking place over an hour or two, so it’s been much easier to write.

I am thinking about adding another character’s narration to a small part in the next chapter… I haven’t decided. I know I want to make it like a little side story, but I don’t know how in depth I want to get in to it at this point. Why am I making more work for myself?! Like this story isn’t taking forever to be told as it is! 

Thanks for hanging in there! I look forward to hearing what you guys think! See you next time!


	8. Chapter 8

Brief opening A/N: There’s a lengthy little first person interlude in this chapter that is totally skippable if it ‘ent your bag o’ beans. That is all. 

Chapter 8

Sakura couldn’t sleep.

In a daze, she had went back inside, sliding the door shut as quietly as she could, and sat down on her sleeping bag beside Naruto. He was breathing heavily, his mouth open a bit, his head half off the pillow. She was careful not to stare though. Naruto could sleep through almost anything, but if you watched him too long, his eyes would inevitably open and turn directly to you. 

She didn’t want him to see her right now.

She laid down facing the opposite wall. She couldn’t tell if hours or minutes were passing. The blue and black darkness of the room seemed to be changing, shifting, but she couldn’t be sure. At some point, Sasuke came back inside. She felt rather than heard his footfalls crossing the room and she pretended to be asleep, but she knew she was fooling no one. She held her breath until she thought she heard the gentle slide of his bedroom door shut.

As soon as the first stream of light crept through the windows, she got up, silently changed into some of her new clothes and left, jogging out of the front gate and down the street as the rising sun peeked out from behind the buildings. Her footsteps were loud against the packed dirt streets on the east side of town. There were few people out and about; every now and then she would run past a store beginning to show signs of life. The surrealness, the muted light of early morning, and the odd emptiness of her mind made Sakura think she might actually be dreaming as she took in the dew glistening on metal benches and the fresh mist hanging in the air. The morning market was beginning to stir as her feet found her destination right in the middle of the old shopping district.

The fact that the building was reconstructed just as it was eased some of the tension in Sakura’s gut. The white walls, the slant of the roof, the budding new flowers in the window planters… Sakura stood and stared at it and for a moment, pretending she was eight and visiting her only friend in the world.

Of course it was not Ino’s father that opened the door, but Shikamaru, who stood shirtless, his lean chest and narrow waist belayed by his hunched over posture. He stepped aside wordlessly and she followed him into the sitting room and down the hall toward Ino’s room. She thought he must have only been daring to wake Ino because of his zombie-like state, but to Sakura’s shock, she saw him flop down on the bed beside her, filling the crumpled spot he had apparently just left.

Ino stirred and rolled over, just in time for Sakura to find her words.

“What in the world is going on here?!” Sakura exclaimed. Ino flinched. Shikamaru laid still, already back to his precious sleep world.

“What are you doing here so early, forehead? Or is it early…? What time is it?” Ino croaked.

“It’s early! But that still doesn’t explain what I’m seeing here!”

“Shh…” she said, and Sakura had another mini spasm in her brain when Ino tenderly looked over at Shikamaru’s sleeping form. “Here, let’s go in to the living room,” she whispered, to which Sakura could only nod.

Sakura had seen Ino watch Shikamaru sleep, but never with that look in her eyes.

Ino rolled out of bed and led her to sit down on a cushion while she disappeared in the kitchen. Sakura felt a little bad for waking her so suddenly when Ino reappeared, pale faced and with two cups of juice in hand.

“Chouji tried but we can’t get any coffee yet… so, what are you doing here? Do you forgive me now? You weren’t wondering around all night or something like that, were you?”

“No. Sasuke let me stay with him and Naruto.”

“Good. I thought he would, but you never know with that brat,” Ino said, regaining some of her form as she sipped her juice.

“So that’s the real reason you moved so suddenly? Because you and Shikamaru are… a couple?”

Ino rolled her eyes, “No. If you would have listened before storming off yesterday, all three of us decided it would be good to move in together and help each other through this. It’s been a weight off my shoulders, having them around all the time. It kind of feels like before, in a way…” Ino’s eyes became misty all of the sudden and Sakura regretted her combative tone, but Ino recovered before any tears were shed, “Plus, it’s what our parents would have wanted.”

“Oh?” Sakura couldn’t suppress her grin, “I actually do remember their feelings on this situation, but I think their plan was always to have you and Shikamaru get married before you united your families. Or you and Chouji.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about.”

“And yet it’s the part of the story that I find most compelling at the moment. So,” Sakura said with a grin, “After all this time. You. And Shikamaru.”

Ino looking grudgingly past her to glare at the wall, “If you must know-“

“Oh, I must.”

“It’s still new with Shika and I. It only started up after we all moved in together.”

“Is that so?” Sakura questioned archly.

“Yes! God, you’re worse than a mother.”

“So how serious is this thing between you two?” Sakura continued, unfazed.

“Somewhat… sort of, well… it’s complicated. We’ve known each other so long that it’s hard for this not to be serious.”

“Have you stopped bickering constantly, then?”

Ino shrugged, “I’m used to that. I can’t imagine anything between the two of us without fighting. But…” Ino suddenly grinned in an unmistakable way. Sakura gasped.

“Yamanaka Ino! Have you…? Did you do… that? With Shikamaru?” Sakura asked, her voice going high at the end.

Ino just smiled. 

“Oh my God…” Sakura whispered, “I can’t believe you beat me…”

“Heh heh heh! I can give you and Naruto some tips if you’d like!” Ino said, slapping Sakura’s arm.

But at hearing Naruto’s name, Sakura’s face fell.

“Ah-hah. So, are you going to tell me what has you bursting in over here first thing in the morning?”

“Mm, no. I just… I want to hear about you! I can’t believe it! Tell me everything.”

“Nuh-uh. Don’t change the subject. What did that blonde idiot do this time? Or was it sass face again?”

Sakura sighed. She was just too easy to read.

 

\+ + + + + + + + + +

 

Ino was speechless by the end of her tail. When she finally got over her shock, Sakura was staring silently at the cup of juice in front of her, her fingers smoothing up and down the glass irritably.

“Well… I guess it’s your turn to shock me. I… I had no idea. I mean, we thought he might be jealous way back before you left on your mission, but… do you think he has real feelings for you?”

“I don’t know! He’s so confusing! I mean, all I know is that he was really into kissing me and when I protested, he was pretty adamant about knowing why. I told you what I said to him about me and Naruto, but it just… It’s like it didn’t compute. But I don’t know if it means he wants me as a girlfriend or if he just wanted me in that moment.”

Ino chewed her lip thoughtfully, “Sasuke-kun doesn’t seem like the type who would kiss you casually, even if he’s been acting a little weird lately.”

“I know, but I have no idea what to think. Has he liked me since he got back? Has he always liked me? Well, I can actually answer that question-“

“Heh, so can I-“

“Or! Did he just want to kiss me or keep me on the side as like, a teammate with benefits?”

There was a whistle from behind them. Chouji appeared in the hallway wearing striped boxers and a white t-shirt.

“This was not a conversation I meant to walk in on,” he said, staring decidedly at the opposite wall.

“Chouji!” Ino shouted.

Sakura felt herself go red, “How much did you hear?”

“Teammate with benefits,” he replied, walking past them into the kitchen.

Ino rose to follow him, shouting as she went, “Promise that those words do not leave this house!”

Sakura heard him assent and relaxed as Ino reappeared. However, Chouji’s head followed her around the corner.

“So, since I promised, do I get to know who wants the benefits?”

Ino and Sakura looked at each other. After a moment, Sakura shrugged. Ino answered him.

“Sasuke. Maybe,” she said.

Chouji whistled again and disappeared. They heard cupboard doors opening and pans begin to rattle.

“Let Chouji make you breakfast. It’ll give us some fuel to think this thing through.”

“Why is this happening…?” Sakura said, laying her head on the table.

“Your team has always been dysfunctional. I mean, I’m sure Kakashi-sensei wasn’t really a lot of help with that.”

“Hey, Kakashi-sensei was a great teacher.”

“Uh-huh. Anyway, you and Naruto have been a little broken ever since Sasuke-kun left. It’s not surprising that you’re all having a hard time adjusting.”

Sakura was starting to feel a bit sick from the stress and her sleeplessness night.

“Let’s just talk about something else for now. Tell me absolutely everything about Shikamaru.”

“Are you sure?” Ino frowned at her. She wasn’t one to give up on a problem that easily, but seeing Sakura’s tense face, she caved.

“Fine. I’ll tell you a little bit… Me and Shika had been fighting a lot more than usual, if you can imagine that. Ever since we moved into the house, he’d been underfoot, laying in a depressed lump. Obviously, his mood was not making me or Chouji feel any better and I was starting to regret our decision to all move in together.”

“How did that happen?” Sakura interrupted.

“That’s a completely different story,” Ino said, shaking her head.

“Well it’s one I want to hear considering it’s the one that left me homeless,” she said flatly.

** ** **

I wracked my brain, trying to find the right place to start, quickly sorting out the details I could tell and the ones that should stay private. I told Sakura one version of the story, but wasn’t nearly as easy as I made it sound. God, if she knew. I know Sakura's been through her share of bad situations, but never this. She'd never lost anyone the way we had- she'd never lost a parent.

Sometimes the three of us, Shikamaru, Chouji and I, couldn't bear to see each other. Sometimes we cried just looking at each other’s faces. We cried for each other and for ourselves.

Feeling better seemed impossible, and yet, there were minutes, sometimes an hour, when I would forget to feel sad and I could reconnect to the world. Sakura was usually involved in those times, distracting me with her stories and her daily life. Sometimes I felt guilty that I didn't spend every second lamenting my parents death, but a lot of the time I was just relieved that I got a break from the pain and grateful that the human mind was so simple that something that huge could actually be put away for a little while.

Well, I should say my mind. Chouji and I both knew there was one person who wasn’t so easy to distract.

It was when Sakura had left on her mission that Chouji approached me. I didn’t leave our apartment except to buy food and go on missions, which I was surprised to find didn't make me jittery like a lot of my comrades. Our entire generation was feeling the strain of the last battle and so I was often assigned as a team leader to a bunch of bratty genin who were usually annoying enough to take my mind off of things for a while.

I had just come back from one of those missions, tired and sore from all the work after my recent lack of training, when I met Chouji on my door step.

It was getting dark earlier now and the new buildings were casting long shadows over the streets. He waved to me as I got closer, stepping out into the road. It wasn’t until then that I realized he was alone. Getting a solo visit from Chouji was unusual, but I let him inside without a word and we sat at me and Sakura's little table.

''You look good, Chouji," I said, studying his face, "You've finally put some weight back on."

"Have I?" He said absently, stroking his hair back from his forehead. It had grown long and sat in rough looking spikes against his shoulders, which hadn't lost any definition, but had bulked up a bit since I had seen him a week before. "I've been trying, but I wasn't sure how much progress I was making. We don't have a scale yet and my clothes still fit the same."

"You look kinda worried though. What's going on?" I said. Beating around the bush made me tired and baby-sitting those bratty little genin had already done a good job of that.

Chouji looked pained and, for a second, I thought he wasn't going to answer. We opened our mouths to speak at the same time.

"I need your help-"

"Spit it... What? My help?" I asked, "With what?"

Chouji sucked in a breath, "I can't handle Shikamaru on my own anymore. He's not getting any better. He's thin. He's getting worse. He's stopped taking mission and answering summons."

"Um... Wait. I need a second to process... So... Shikamaru's not doing well?"

"He's doing a lot worse than not well. I'm... I'm worried about him. If he was the type, I’d say I was worried about him... maybe killing himself," Chouji was looking down at the table, his neck tense. I was afraid to study his face for fear that there might be tears in his eyes. I swallowed hard and tried to talk.

"That's... bad. Really bad. But... I'm not sure how I can help. I... I mean, I try, but I'm not gentle. Not even close. I want to help, but I don't know what to do or where to start..."

I felt a wave of anger toward Shikamaru. Me and Chouji were barely trudging along. Now he was making us carry him too? I knew it wasn't really his fault, but at the same time, if me and Chouji were trying, I felt like he could at least match us. It was just like training and school; Chouji and I would try our hardest and then there would be Shikamaru, moseying up behind us at the last possible minute without a care in the world.

"That idiot," I sighed, "Making you worry like this."

"Do you think you'd move in with us?" Chouji asked. He was rubbing his eyes with hard swipes of the back of his hand, "Not just for him. For me. I can't do this on my own anymore. And when it's just me and Shikamaru, it's like..."

He never took his hands from his eyes. He just rested his elbows on the table and buried his face in them.

"It's like being alone," I finished for him. He nodded in his hands.

"I'll do it," I said, "But I don't know where we'll live. I don't really fancy the idea of sleeping on the floor and I'm sure Shikamaru isn't going to want to share a bed with you."

"You know, I only decided to ask you a few days ago. You know why?" He asked. I shook my head. He continued, "Because Yamato is starting to rebuild the old roads, where the flower shop was. Do you think you'd want to live there? At your house?"

Your house. The tears I'd been too tired to shed swelled up in an instant.

Chouji glanced up at me with a very red eyes and reached out a hand to grab my arm.

"I'm sorry. That was stupid and insensitive. I know I couldn't go back to mine-"

"No, no, Chouji!" I sniffed, "I want it. I want to go home! I didn't even realize... I almost let it get built over. Is it too late, do you think?" I gasped, rising to my feet.

"I'm sure it's not. He only just started and he's been taking his time, rebuilding everything to request. That's where all the old businesses are, so it'll take a few days at least. Last I saw, he was doing the stationary shop."

"We've got to go put the request in," I said, wiping uselessly at the constant stream of tears rolling down my face, "I don't want to miss it!"

"We can wait a minute. It's not like they're doing anymore tonight."

"It's ok. I'm used to crying. It doesn't slow me down at all."

He stood and wrapped my arm in his and we walked to the door together, even though I felt like running. I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of something so important.

It wasn't until we were on the street and my tears had slowed a bit that Chouji said, "What about Sakura?"

Of course I swore and felt guilty, but my decision was already firm in my mind. Nothing could extinguish the sudden, overwhelming desire I had to see my home again.

"She'll be ok. She's got her team and her parents. I'll break it to her gently when she gets back. What about Shikamaru? Have you guys already talked about it?"

Chouji looked at the ground as we walked, "Not exactly. I was actually thinking we could use you moving as an excuse. Like, you wanted to move back home, but not alone."

"That's pretty conniving, Chouji."

"Its fine if you don't want to. We can always think of-"

"No, no. It's fine. I get that you don't wanna pressure Shikamaru. But what about your houses? Are you sure Shikamaru doesn't want to go back?"

"We talked about it. I don't think either of us could stand it. I was honestly surprised that you were so willing to rebuild."

"Yeah... I don't know why, but I am," I said, "More than willing. I really want my house. And the shop... Although I don't know who's gonna run it."

"We all will, when we're ready."

Ready. I wasn't sure if I was even ready for the house, but every bone in my body ached with how badly I wanted.

After a surreal session with a bored looking Yamato-sensei, I found myself standing in my empty, unpainted living room, all alone. I was ready to move in; my few belongings were packed and Shikamaru and Chouji were bringing their stuff too. There wasn't much. My whole life fit in a backpack. The table, bed and couch that Sakura and I had used belonged to the apartment. The few little things Sakura had left behind all fit in her locker at the hospital. 

I sat down and waited until the boys came. Now that I had this whole empty house, I didn't know where to go. Did I want to sleep in my old bedroom? There was a third room we never used, a study, which I thought might have been less... I dunno. Less something. But then I thought of one of the boys in my parents’ bedroom and knew that that would have to be my choice. Even with them gone, it didn't seem right to let anyone else claim it. I picked up my bag and moved it into their room, placing it right in the center. Weirdly, I found myself smiling. Chouji or Shikamaru would have to sleep in my room. It was wrong and odd and hilarious all at once and I had to sit down from the uneasy mix of emotions that I was tittering between.

***

Over the next few weeks, I found out exactly what Chouji was talking about.

Shikamaru was always mopey and tired when we all met up, but at home, he was absolutely useless. He never left his room, not even to eat. And now that he lived with me, he didn’t even have his weekly dinner with me and Chouji to coax him out. Since we moved in, he had only left once and it was to see the unveiling of a monument dedicated to our fallen family and comrades. I cried, Chouji stared at the ground and Shikamaru just stood there like he was in another world, not even bothering to look at the clouds or sigh and complain. He was just gone.

It wasn't until Chouji and I decided to take a trip to Iya Valley, the place my parents used to source half of their flowers from, that anything changed. 

***

Shikamaru didn't want to go, of course. Our parents used to take us the river in Iya valley to play when we were kids and for a second I thought he was going to plead out of going on the grounds of too many memories, but he never said anything like that. His only protest was "It takes too long to get there."

Of course, such a stupid complaint could be ignored, so I brow-beat, bullied and finally dragged the lazy bum out into the street and forced him to walk until we reached the gate where Chouji and I had planned to hitch a ride in the back of a farmer's cart. There were shipments of crops coming in to Konoha almost every day, desperately trying to keep up with the need for fresh food, but it would still be awhile until Konohagature would have a stable amount of food for the population. 

We blended in with the morning crowds, the three of us, in our black impersonal clothes and our worn sandals and hatai-ate. As I walked, I dragged Shikamaru behind me with one hand and carried a small bag containing the lunch that Chouji had packed for us in the other. I remember glancing back and seeing Shikamaru hunched over with his hair untied and sweeping his thin shoulders- I mean, Shikamaru was never one of the biggest dudes in the first place, but he had never looked like a civilian. He didn't look like he could fight off a couple genin, let alone any rogue ninjas he might have come across during a mission. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise that he hadn't been working.

I readjusted my grip on his limp hand and he glanced up at me briefly. I bit my lip and turned to stare up the street in front of us. Quick, hot anger had filled me to my toes. I didn't want to see that dead look on Shikamaru's face.

***

The ride went by swiftly. The farmer, overly kind and grateful to ninja, even let me ride in the front, which I did to save my clothes from vegetable slime. We made nice conversation for the entire ride, but there was no noise from the cart bed behind me.

We were dropped at the edge of town. It was a tiny village with only a few blocks of businesses, all of which had a nice, worn in feel. It was crazy; before, if someone had told me that all of the old rambling buildings in Konoha were going to be rebuilt, I would have been overjoyed. But now the newness felt strange and raw. The edges were too sharp on the sides of restaurants and apartment complexes. They were like the protruding bones in my jaw and Shikamaru's cheeks and Chouji's shoulders. Everything had lost its weight. 

We found the shop and did our business. I thought it would take a lot longer, but really, it was just a walk in, thirty minute conversation and consultation. The old woman who ran the shop recognized us. After she gave us her condolences and shed a tear or two, things moved blindingly fast. Her part of the conversation went something like, "Reopened the store, eh? Do you want to place an order? Half an order? A third? Not enough money? You can pay us after you make a profit. Your parents were good people."

And that's how simple it was. I mean, sure, it was just one order (and a crazy tiny order at that. I was cynically sure that that was the only reason they allowed us to pay them for it after we had sold them), but it was real. When we walked out back into the street, the sunlight had broken through the haze that had been drifting overhead since I woke up. I squinted at Chouji.

"That was easy. I didn't really expect to place an order this time."

"Well, yeah. We don't have any money, so it was definitely unexpected."

"I'm not sure I'm ready," I said and glanced back at Shikamaru. I half expected him to roll his eyes and say something about the indecisive nature of women. He didn't, but since I heard it in my head any way, I sighed and said, "But I guess I'd better get ready."

"Don't push yourself," Chouji warned, "We can eat lunch and think about it, then go back."

"What do you think, Shikamaru?" I asked.

"I think you should do what you want," he said simply.

"What if I'm not ready?"

"This isn't anything that hard. You can do it whenever you want. And you obviously want to try it since you dragged us out here."

He was partially right. I knew how to sell flowers, set up a shop, run the books. But I didn't know my own mind as well as he thought I did. I likely wouldn't know if I actually wanted to run the shop until I was right in the middle of doing it. If the time flew quickly and I didn't feel like breaking down into a pile of tears, I would know I was on the right path.

We spent the rest of the day in the park by the river. I didn't go back and cancel the order, even though I felt a little queasy as I ate my sandwich. Shikamaru laid in the grass, his hand over his eyes, his portion of food untouched. Chouji watched him with a worried expression.

"I'll have to teach you guys some stuff," I said. Just like Chouji, I found myself looking down at Shikamaru, "How to keep track of money and inventory... I doubt we'll have a cash register any time soon. Those things are expensive if I remember correctly..."

"That's fine," Chouji said.

Shikamaru must have felt my glaring even with his eyes closed because he said, "Fine," softly.

Chouji and I met each other's gaze. We were way too relieved to hear that kind of response. I felt another tingle of anger toward Shikamaru for stressing us out so much, but I didn't let it show on my face. Chouji looked so relieved and I didn’t want to ruin it for him. But I should have known better than to get my hopes up.

***

The first week was fine. Chouji and even Shikamaru, to an extent, were willing learners. We made hand printed fliers and a big sign, letting people know Yamanaka Flowers was back in business and our first day open was a breathless, happy affair where everyone we knew came by to congratulate us on reopening, usually buying a bouquet while they were at it. Kurenai-sensei brought us a big bag of contraband goodies to congratulate us (Shikamaru was mysteriously absent when this occurred). By 5:00, we were sold out. I hugged Shikamaru and Chouji and Shikamaru even complained about working in the store over dinner and said that he might check the mission board. Things seemed like they were going to be alright. 

I made a quick run to Iya Valley the next day and repaid the flower people and took another, slightly larger, order on credit. I wasn't really looking to turn a profit (my mother rarely did, if her complaints about finances were any indication of her success), but I was excited. When I was in the shop, even though it was a bit emptier than it used to be, I could pretend I was who I used to be for a while. It felt good to feel normal, like, in a regular mood, for the first time in months. 

That's when the dreams came.

I hadn't been dreaming at all. Not since the battle. Every night was a free fall into emptiness that left me groggy and a bit dazed when I woke up, but blessedly empty until I remembered what had happened.

The first night I dreamed, I saw my father and mother torn apart. There was some convoluted dream plot where someone put a bomb in the flower shop and the only way to save them was to get there before my father opened the drawer the bomb was in. The explosion happened as soon as I opened the door and I felt the blast pushing me back, away from my parents where they were being blown to pieces in slow motion. My wild flailing woke me up. I couldn't breathe, even when I sat up and turned on the light. I walked out into the living room, trying to get some distance and wake myself all the way up, but I got more than I bargained for when a strange blob on the floor started moving in the dark. I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"Baka," it said, a little too late for comfort. It was Shikamaru.

"Who is?" I snapped at him. I was mad, but my breath was coming out like I'd just run a thousand laps around Konoha. "Why are you on the floor?" I gasped.

Shikamaru gave me a Gallic shrug from his prone position on the floor.

Chouji came walking into the room, looking like he had already been awake for awhile.

"What's wrong?" He asked, his eyes scanning both of us.

"Shikamaru's trying to kill me," I said, pointing him with my foot, "He's rolling around on the floor in here in the middle of the night." 

Chouji gave Shikamaru a questioning gaze. Shikamaru reluctantly rolled on to his knees.

"I was just napping. I'll move," he said.

Chouji turned to me, "What are you doing up?"

"I-m-me?" I stuttered, "Nothing! I just woke up."

"Well, it's five. We might as well stay up now. It’ll be nice to start the first day of our training bright and early."

"What?" Shikamaru and I said at once.

"I talked to Lee yesterday. He said he was starting a training group for our graduating class since I guess a lot of us have been slacking. He was going to do Tuesdays and Thursdays after he got done at the academy. I told him we'd be there."

"Training? With fuzzy brows?" my whole body drooped at the idea. 

"We used to train every day," Chouji said, "I didn't like it, but it was necessary. We can't stop now just because there's no one here to make us do it. We have to work that structure into our lives again."

"Work at the academy if you want structure," Shikamaru said mutinously. Although I understood the logic of what Chouji was saying, I secretly agreed with Shikamaru.

"Team Kakashi started training as soon as they were healed up," Chouji said, mostly to me, probably trying to appeal to my pride. 

"Team Kakashi didn't lose anyone! They gained, if anything! Of course they're not having any problems!" I surprised myself by shouting, "I didn't see Lee or Tenten doing anything before this."

"Well they are now, so we will too." Chouji looked firm and for the first time, possibly ever, I felt a little intimidated by the authority he was projecting, "We are part of a legacy. We're not doing ourselves or our parents justice if we just sit around here and sell flowers. It's a good thing that you wanted to reopen the shop, don't get me wrong, but that's not your only priority," he said to me, "Your ninja and medic duties come first."

Shikamaru said nothing, but walked into his room (my former bedroom) and shut the door. I guess that was his answer.

Chouji looked furious. I was surprised; he rarely got mad, especially at Shikamaru. Suddenly, he turned back to me.

"If you could just support me a little in what I’m trying to do, that would be great," he said shortly before stomping off. Of course I couldn't let that kind of comment go, so I followed him into the kitchen.

"And what exactly is that?" I demanded.

He whipped around on his heel, "If Shikamaru doesn't start taking care of himself, he'll die."

"What'dyou mean?" I asked

"What do I mean? Look at him. He hasn’t eaten a proper meal in months and I haven’t seen him eat anything since last week. He has barely any muscle left. And I think..." Chouji looked behind me before grabbing my arm and pulling me close. He whispered, "I think he's just waiting around, checking the mission board for the perfect mission to let himself die on."

We stood there a long time. I pushed my bangs out of my eyes, grabbed on to Chouji's arm where it was resting on my shoulder. Finally, I said, "Do you really believe that?"

"I wouldn't have told you if I didn't," Chouji said, looking over at the opposite wall.

I leaned against the cabinets, gradually sliding to the floor and Chouji sat down beside me. Why? Why wasn't he getting better?

After a few long minutes lost in our own thoughts, I spoke softly, "What are we gonna do?"

Chouji put his hand on my knee.

"Just our best. We'll force him to live if we have to. Hell, I'll let you take control of his body and eat for him if it comes to it. We just need to keep an eye on him. Make him go places with us. Keep him out of his head."

"We already do that though. As much as we can. I can't carry him on my back if he refuses to go somewhere."

Chouji stood back up slowly, "We have to do what we have to do," he said simply, then opened the cupboard above his head. I sat and listened to the clanging of dishes as he began making breakfast.

***

Tough love was not a method that worked for our team, or at least, that’s what I had always thought. I was proud and didn't like being told what to do. Shikamaru's inner smart-aleck always came out when anyone other than the Hokage gave him orders and Chouji was usually more than a bit obstinate and whiny when he was under direct pressure to do something he didn't want to do. Asuma-sensei never tried it and prodded us along with an easy-going demeanor, saving his seriousness for only the most important occasions.

But as I was trying to keep up with Chouji, I had to wonder if he would have developed further under a more serious teacher who would have pushed him harder.

Because he definitely favored the drill sergeant teaching style. His intensity, coupled with Lee's friendly, albeit insane work ethic, left me from feeling normal sometimes to actively wanting to die on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Every time I was about to tell Lee to shove off with his ridiculous routines, Chouji fixed me with a look that said, "Remember our conversation in the kitchen," and then I wanted to kick Shikamaru in the face instead. Why should I have to suffer more just because he was being a brat who wanted to worry everyone? He was barely even putting forth any effort anyway, often cheating on drills and sneakily ducking out of running laps.

He couldn't cheat at sparring though, and that's where I tended to let off my steam toward him. Unfortunately, it wasn't really that fun to hit him when he was just flopping around. He also seemed to welcome the blows, honestly, which kinda took the fun out. I didn't want to contribute any sort of weird, self-harming habits he was trying to indulge in.

A reprieve finally came after the first week when I had to pick up a flower order on Tuesday, only an hour before our training session. The training group had widened to include anyone who was in town at the time; the Thursday before, Shikamaru and I had flopped around alongside the ultra-serious faces of Hinata, Kiba and Sai, the latter of whom I noticed was giving me odd, inscrutable looks that probably meant that my form was even worse than I imagined it was.

When I begged off of Tuesday training to Chouji, citing the flower shop as an excuse, Shikamaru overheard me and tacked himself on to the trip right away.

"I'll go and make sure the math's right. Also, it looks like the weather is turning bad, so it’d probably be better if someone went along with her."

Math and weather were pretty lame as far as excuses went, but Shikamaru seemed to gain a little energy at the thought of skipping out of training and Chouji didn't have the heart to say no to him when it came down to it. Sure, Chouji had cajoled, manipulated, guilted and lectured Shikamaru into doing any number of things he hadn't wanted to do in the last couple of weeks, but Chouji was helpless in the face of a direct request. Thankfully, Shikamaru had been super malleable lately and didn't make them that often.

So it was on foot that Shikamaru and I set out for the Iya Valley. We had missed the morning carts (somewhat conveniently, as I didn't want to risk getting back in time to catch any of the training) and we had to go on foot until we were able to hitch a ride with the next person out.

Of course, running was also out of the question, leaving me and Shikamaru all set for a nice stroll in the cool air with the perfumed smell of fall and trees.

We walked side by side, both of us with our hair down, Shikamaru squinting into the sun like he was disoriented. In fact, he was acting a bit clumsy as well. I would have suspected he had been drinking if I couldn't smell the scent of his shampoo and soap wafting over to me on the wind. There was none of the booze that I sometimes sniffed out on Asuma-sensei at the end of day after a boring mission.

I watched him as we walked. His unsteadiness progressed. At one point, his hand brushed my shoulder as he tried to catch his balance. And we were barely even into the Konoha forest.

I stopped and steadied him with my hands on his shoulders and asked, "What's wrong?" He avoided my gaze, staring past me into the distance.

There were dark circles under his eyes where permanent lines of tiredness were growing on his face. His cheeks had hollowed beneath the prominent bones of his face. His eyes were red, bloodshot, and I could feel his bones under my hands. I felt sure that, if I wanted to, I'd be able to pick him up and toss him like Sakura could during one of her chakra enhanced moments.

"Do you need to sit down?" I asked.

"No, I'm fine. Just tired."

"How can you be tired? You slept like fifteen hours straight last night," I said. Luckily, before we could get too deep into it, I saw a cart rambling up behind us.

I pulled him to the side of the road and we waved until the driver, a whiskered old man, reluctantly stopped and asked, "You two Konoha ninja?" and we were able to get a ride the rest of the way.

***

I left Shikamaru sitting outside as I quickly went into the shop and did my business. Then, as had become tradition, we walked to the river and sat and in grass to eat our lunch as the shop readied our order for us.

It was getting darker as deep grey clouds rolled across the sky. Even the river, usually calm and quietly gurgling, was surging and splashing against rocks and submerged logs as we settled down beside it. We might have needed to eat inside, but I thought if we ate fast enough, we could miss the rain.

I unpacked my bag and pulled out Chouji's carefully paper wrapped sandwiches and snacks, "Ok, no more dancing around this. You're going to eat this sandwich Chouji made for you. If you try to resist, I have been authorized to use force. Namely, to take over your body and eat it for you."

I placed the sandwich in his hand where he turned it over a few times, examining it, then chucked it into the river.

My mouth dropped open. It took me a few seconds to even process what he'd done and after that, I just stared at him, waiting for him to crack a smile or smirk like it was one of his crabby jokes, but he wouldn't look at me. He just stared out at the water. My shock turned into anger.

"You... incredible... ungrateful... asshole!" I shouted, "What is wrong with you?!"

"Don't you put your hands up in my direction," Shikamaru said lowly as I raised my hands and formed a triangle. I hadn't used my body switch jutsu in a while, but I was used to connecting directly with Shikamaru's mind. The last time we had been connected flashed into my mind. When our parents... when it happened, I was busy feeling my own pain, but if I had reached out, reached into him, I maybe could have felt his pain too and had some idea of what was going on with him.

Suddenly the body swap jutsu was seeming like an even better idea.

He no doubt sensed a change in my intent because his shadow suddenly became visible. But it was too late.

"Exchange!"

"Get... out... you... stupid... woman!" Echoed Shikamaru's voice from far away. I could only feel or see thoughts that he willingly shared; otherwise the body swap would be a wonderful interrogation tool. I sighed and said, "I guess you should have believed me when I said I'd use force." It was a little surprising to my ears to hear Shikamaru's voice with so much life in it, even if I was the one making them come out.

I sat down quickly and took my sandwich from my bag, reveling a bit, as I always did when I body swapped, in the strange feeling of another person’s limbs and hands. But I had little time to waste. Shikamaru was fighting hard and I was struggling too, thanks to my lack of training in the last few months.

Then something snapped. A torrent of emotions, dark and primal, almost beyond my understanding, flooded through his mind. He had never been so mad... I honestly didn't think Shikamaru was capable of this depth of feeling.

I crashed back into my body in a dizzy rush. Just as I was getting used to the feel of my arms and legs in the grass, I heard Shikamaru stomping toward me.

"Do you think you can just do whatever you want?" He wasn't yelling, but his voice was louder than I'd heard in months.

"What about you? You're the one doing whatever you want! You don’t care that people are worried about you! You don't care that we think you could DIE!" I shouted. I pushed myself off the ground, but Shikamaru grabbed my arms and shoved me back down. I kicked him in the ankle and he stumbled back, but only for a half a second. I scrambled to my feet using every bit of agility I had, my heart slamming in my chest.

“Worry about yourself!” he said, his voice finally raised to a shout, “Why don’t you focus on your own problems for a change instead of trying to get into everyone else’s business and fix them! I’m not Sakura! I’m not Chouji! I’m not here for you to worry about! I’m not a little broken doll that you can fix!”

His face was right in mine. He was shouting as loud as he could and all of the blood left in his body seemed to have rushed to his face. He was trying to grab a hold of me; I didn’t know what he would do if he actually got his hands in a good grip on me, but I wasn’t about to let him. We locked hands and tried to twist and pull each other into submission. A few months ago he could have physically overpower me, but with him half-starved and fueled by purely anger, we were dead matched.

“I don’t just see people as toys to amuse myself! Caring about people and wanting to help them doesn’t make me a bad person!” As I shouted, I shoved my knee into the inside of his and made his leg buckle. I used that opportunity to push him with all my might. He didn’t let me go and we fell, stumbling as we held on to each other.

“I’ve seen the way you chase after people. You’d do anything to distract yourself from your own pain, right?” he grunted as we wrestled back to our feet. He shifted his grip and locked my arms at my elbows. I felt my feet rise off the ground slightly before he slung me to the ground. I fell awkwardly on to my side, right on to the pebbles by the edge over the river. I felt the scrapes on my arm bleeding as I bounded back toward him. He didn’t budge an inch when I threw my first punch at him.

“You’re a vapid, shallow little brat! You can’t even face up to your own pain!” He shouted, violently knocking my fists out of the way when they came to him, “You think you can understand what I’m feeling?!”

He threw, not pushed, me back again, with no regard for my bleeding arms and still hurling insults at me whenever he could think of something new to say. I honestly didn’t even hear most of them. I was just trying to get to him; lay my hands on him and make him stop for a second. 

Aside from sparring, we’d never fought physically. I might have punched him in the arm or something, or he might have pushed me and not meant anything by it, but we had never fought for real. We were tussling again, neither of us able to throw punches, but he got the better of me. We had somehow fought our way to the edge of the park and into the surrounding forest and he was still pushing me back. I felt rough bark scrape my back through my shirt as my head knocked against a tree. I was dizzy and he was still yelling.

“Does this make you happy? Are you happy now?” he asked again, shaking me by the shoulders, “I’m finally sharing with you how I feel!”

“No you’re not!” I shouted, even though I felt a little weak, “You’re just screaming at me. You’re not telling me anything, just like always!”

“You don’t want to know how I feel! You just want to make yourself feel better by hearing about how miserable I am! What I want to know is why I should have to say it! Are you that stupid?! It’s not obvious?!”

“That’s not why! You stupid fucking idiot!” I pushed him away from me, but he just took another step toward me. I shoved him back again, “You’re the one who doesn’t get it! I’m trying to make you feel better! I care about you! I don’t want you wandering around miserable for the rest of your life and that’s how it’s going to be if you keep all this crap inside and just try to hibernate it off.”

“What if you don’t want to hear what I have to say?” he said lowly.

“Of course I do! Would I be trying this hard if I didn’t?”

“What if I told you it makes me sick to wake up in your old house and see your face every day? That I can’t stand looking at Chouji. Especially when you’re both all happy. When he’s cooking his mom’s recipes or when you’re arranging flowers. It makes me furious. And sick. And jealous.”

I started to talk, but he turned around quickly and shouted, “Do you think I ever wanted to feel those things about the two of you? Do you think it makes me feel better to admit that!?”

I took a step toward him. I placed my hand on his shoulder and he pulled away.

“Don’t pretend you’re not disgusted-“

“I understand!” I shouted.

“You’re just saying that,” he scoffed, “I just told you I wanted to see you as miserable as I am.”

“No, I get it. I swear. Every time I see Sakura, I love her, but at the same time, I hate her. She has her parents. She has parents and she doesn’t even see them. She never grew up afraid. They live out of danger and they’re there whenever she wants them. And it makes me have awful thoughts and ideas.”

“But you and Chouji are both in the same position as I am,” he said, “And I know it’s wrong to want to be doing better than you. It’s… not logical and it’s… it just makes my life more troublesome… And it’s not even just that. I’m… I’m jealous of all your parents left you,” he said, “They left you flowers and a shop and your whole temperament. Chouji was so close to his family… he’s just like his dad. We all inherited techniques, but you two got more than that. Whereas the only person I was ever really like, who ever really got me, was Asuma-sensei. I just acted like a bastard… I didn’t want to see things like my parents did. Aside from learning family secret techniques, I didn’t take anything they offered. I thought I was better than them. I didn’t want to hear my mom tell me about how to be better when I knew I was smarter than she was. I didn’t want my dad’s trivial advice. I chose my own way and now…It feels like they’re really dead. Not just gone, but erased because I never appreciated them or took what they tried to give me. And it makes me fucking…”

His voice was so tight and his fist were clenched at his sides. His neck was painfully angled toward the ground and it looked like he wanted to use all of the tension in his body to self-destruct. We were both still breathing heavy from our fight. My mind was completely blank, but I already had an answer for him. It was something I’d known to be true my whole life.

“But Shika, you did take something from them. You took me and Chouji. They gave us to you, our parent’s legacy of friendship. They might have forced it on us, but we grew to accept it. It was one of the most important things they tried to beat into us. When you said you would move in with me and Chouji… even though you had all these feelings and you didn’t want to… that was your parents getting through to you. It was them answering through you.”

The sound of the river was all around us. It was quiet. I wrapped my arms around him and he didn’t pull away. I couldn’t tell if he was crying.

“Don’t hold it in anymore. I don’t care if you hate me. Because I know that the seed they planted will keep us all together in the end. So no matter what you say, you can’t hurt me.”

We stayed in the woods a long time. The sun disappeared, more clouds moved in. We had to have been there for hours, but time seemed to have stopped. We sat down at some point, but I don’t really remember when. I pulled Shikamaru back, into my arms, until his head rested on my lap. There was the roll of thunder in the distance, but it all blended together. The smell of everything, the water in the air, his anger, my feelings, they were merging and getting purified somehow… It wasn’t until the rain began to fall that the spell was broken.

He got up first, and then helped me up. My legs were a little weak and I stumbled into him. He caught me. He wasn’t smiling. I had no idea what he was thinking, actually. But he caught me. We walked out of the camping area hand in hand. 

We went into town and got a room at the B&B our parents used all the time. They recognized us and were really nice, even though I think we both looked crazy, covered in dirt and a bit of blood and soaking wet from head to toe. We took baths in the communal bathrooms and met back up in the room.

He beat me there, and was standing by the bed when I walked in. His hair was down, hanging around his shoulders. I noticed his face had an edge of scruff to it; he’d have to shave almost every day if he didn’t want to end up looking like his father. He was wearing one of the tan robes that the inn provided; his wet, muddy clothes were hung across the back of a wooden chair.

“Sorry,” he said, “I didn’t think to get us separate rooms.”

“So what?” I said, “Since when have we used separate rooms?”

He shrugged and looked down, “We couldn’t have afforded it either.”

“Exactly, so…?”

“So…” he sighed.

“Are you tired?” I prompted, “Or do have you gotten your second wind and talk some more?” I asked, smiling sweetly as I plopped my own basket of wet clothes down on the floor and inched my way between him and the bed.

He didn’t take the bait though. He never did, “Those things I said-“

“Don’t worry about them. Don’t think about them-“

“I meant them. I didn’t lie. Sometimes when I look at you I’m so angry that I don’t know what to do with myself. “

A ton of commiserations swelled to the tip of my tongue at that moment, but I kept my mouth shut. He needed to say whatever it was he was about to say.

“And there have been a lot of times in my life when I didn’t like you. When we were in the academy, you were the most annoying person in the world. And you weren’t that much better with Asuma watching over us. I think he thought you were more than he could handle at times, too. Chouji and I have plotted against you a lot. We always tried to lose you during practice, or when we were running laps, but you always kept up with us those times, just to be annoying. And-“

“Is anything nice going to come at the end of this string of insults?” I finally demanded.

He smiled then, “I never hated you. I don’t hate you. I can’t hate you. And… now you’re one of the people I most respect in the world.”

He side-stepped me and threw himself backward on to the bed, his wet hair splaying underneath him.

“I thought there was nothing I could learn from my parents… And I found out how wrong I was when I lost them…And realizing that has made me look at you differently too. Even if I get really mad at you sometimes, I’ll never hate you.”

“Do you have to keep saying ‘not hate you’? Wouldn’t it be better if you just said ‘I love you’ instead?” I asked.

To my surprise, he rolled over on his side, facing away from me. I stomped over to him and leap on to the bed, landing on my knees beside him.

“Are you ignoring me?” I demanded. He said nothing. I poked him in the back, “Hey, how old are you? After all the honest stuff you just told me, you can’t say ‘I love you’ to me? I can say it to you! I love you! I love Nara Shikamaru. And Chouji as well. I love you both. Love love love love,” I said, bending into his ear.

He rolled back over to glare at me, “I just poured my heart out to you, you insensitive wench. Are you really demanding a confession on top of everything else?”

“Is it that hard of a confession to make?! Even after all of that?”

“Fine… I love…,” he mumbled, whispering the last word so low that I couldn’t even hear it.

“Good. I love you too, Shikamaru,” I chirped. He covered his eyes with his hands.

“What’s with that reaction?” I squawked, “Are you really this shy?”

“Can we go to sleep now? I’m drained.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on, let me get the light.”

** ** **

“Wait a second,” Sakura said, “After all of that, all those emotions, you got in bed together and just slept?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, it’s me and Shikamaru, right? Being in a bed together wasn’t exactly an erotic fantasy.”

“So when the hell did the two of you get together?!”

“Easy, girl! I had to tell you that part so you would properly understand the context of the next bit.”

“Hmph. I was promised a sexy story…” she said, pretending to pout, but not quite hiding her grin.

“We’re getting there,” Ino said calmly, “So…”

******* ******* ******

That was just the beginning of everything. If we hadn’t gone through that, we would have never had the fight that lead to us getting together.

It was two days later. Chouji had woken us early; probably as punishment for staying overnight at a hotel the night before and having a nice long sleep in (with Shika sleeping in longer than me. But man, could that boy sleep).

I had just showered and gotten ready in the bathroom. I was on my way to the kitchen to do the dishes Chouji had left after breakfast, hoping to sneak in a few more hours of sleep when I was done with them, when an odd sound made me stop in front of my old bedroom door.

It got very quiet. No doubt Shikamaru heard me stop walking, but… before I stopped, it sounded like he was sniffling.

“Shikamaru?” I asked, knocking on the door, “Are you alright?”

I grasped the handle and tried to turn it, but it was locked. He answered, “I’m good.”

“No you’re not. Let me in,” I said, wiggling the door handle.

“Go away. Baaaka,” he said. He was trying to cover it, but his voice sounded congested and nasal. 

It didn’t make any sense. He had been really good at breakfast. I mean, he was groggy, but he actually ate like, half of his plate, which is really a normal sized portion when the person cooking isn’t Chouji. And he seemed like his old self, too, complaining about the duties that Chouji signed us up for and being generally pissy. It was great.

Luckily, I had already learned the trick to these new doors as I often locked myself out of my own bedroom (It’s a really strange phenomenon, but it keeps happening to me. I just automatically lock the look behind me as I’m leaving and I don’t even realize it until the door is shut. But that’s a different problem in my life of many difficulties). I held the knob tight against the lock and jiggled the door, shaking it up in its frame as much as possible.

It swung open and I peeked inside, only to see a very naked Shikamaru holding a towel in front of his, well, most important bits. There was a long line of flesh exposed, from his feet up the sides of his thighs to his hips bones.

“Ino!” he shouted.

“Sorry!” I said, turning around.

I didn’t realize he’d been in the shower. He must have gotten in at the same time as me. Still, thighs aside, I also got a look at his face and it was puffy with tears.

“I just wanted to check on you,” I said to the wall, smoothing my hands over my own damp hair to hide my discomfort, “I thought I heard you… you sounded upset, I mean. Through the door.”

Very warm hands suddenly grabbed my shoulders and pushed me toward the door.

“Just because I opened up to you once doesn’t mean you can just barge in on me whenever you want,” he said, a bit too loudly into my ear as he jostled me forward. I flattened my feet and grabbed on to the doorframe as I passed through it.

“Yes it does!” I said, “You’re my teammate. I’m allowed to care about you and check on you,” I said, struggling to keep my body locked against the door frame as he continued to try to eject me out into the hall.

“So now I’m not allowed to have any expectation of privacy? Is that it?” he grumbled.

“This isn’t about privacy!” I said, suddenly bucking my butt into his stomach, trying to throw off his iron grip. He released me for just a moment and I dashed back into the room. He grabbed me again, but I grabbed a hold on his dresser. His face was close to mine as he tried to pry me off of his furniture.

“Instead of fighting and trying to hide it, why don’t you just let me help you?” I asked, trying to get him to make eye contact with him while avoiding wet strands of his hair that were trying to cling to my face.

“You already helped me,” he grunted. Me and the dresser slowly squeeked toward the door. My hands were starting to hurt from gripping the sharp wooden edges so hard, but he wasn’t giving me a chance to readjust my hold.

I rested my head against his chest, right under his neck, and tried to push him off of me with the strength of my neck alone, “Then why don’t you let me comfort you?” I growled. The angle I was at left me staring at our feet. He had tied his towel around his waist before the tried to remove me from the room, but that didn’t exactly seem to be the safest place to be looking with us rough housing so much.

Suddenly his grip loosened and he backed away. He was pressing his palm to his forehead, his eyes closed.

“If this is your idea of comforting, then I don’t want it.” He opened his eyes and glared at me, “Why do you have to fight so hard? Haven’t you matured at all?”

“I’ve matured!” I said, even as I released the monkey grip I had on his dresser. I flexed my sore hands and walked toward him, “You’re the immature one. Why don’t you want to let anyone help you? I thought we already talked about this.”

“What can you do for me when I’m just sitting here crying and being pathetic?” he demanded.

“Baka,” I said. I walked up to him and put my arms around him. I had to stand on my toes to have my face rest on his shoulder. I leaned into him and squeezed lightly. We stood there for a while in silence before he finally said, “I don’t really feel like crying anymore, actually.”

“Because of my hug?” I asked brightly, releasing him.

“Because you distracted me with your brattiness.”

“Hmph. You’re the brat. Why didn’t you just let me hug you to begin with?”

“Whatever. It worked. I’m not crying anymore. You can go.”

He stared expectantly at me as, but I wasn’t convinced. “That’s really not a good thing. If you need to cry, I want you to get it out. I don’t like thinking that I got in the way of a good cry.”

“Well then next time don’t just barge in like an animal.”

But even as he said that, I pushed him over. He landed on his butt on the bed.

“There. We’ll just hang out here awhile until you relax enough to cry again,” I said, plopping down beside him.

“So now you’re trying to make me cry?”

“No. We’ll just relax here awhile until I know you feel alright. Is that better?”

“I’m telling you, I’m fine.”

I sighed and rolled my eyes, “What’s the big deal? You were probably just going to lay back down for a while anyway, right?”

He raised his arms above his head. His entire naked torso was laid out in front of me. Even with the wiriness of his light muscles, it seemed incredibly vulnerable.

“And you’re not going away no matter what I say, right?” he asked mockingly. But despite his tone, he didn’t try to make me leave and I had a little mental victory cheer as I plopped down beside him, my head landing on his arm where it was sprawled across the bed.

“Nope. I’m staying right here.”

He sighed. I smiled. Outside, autumn was turning cool, but the room was warm and the smell of clean skin was rising off of both of us. Shikamaru’s new bed was comfortable and I felt like I just had a mini-work out. I felt myself slowly drifting to sleep.

** ** ** ** ** 

 

I woke with a gasp. I was supposed to meet Chouji at noon at the academy for work. I pushed myself up to the look at the clock on Shika’s dresser, then lowered my head with relief. It was eleven. I’d only been asleep for about two hours. 

But as soon as that relief came over me, I tensed up again. There was bare skin beneath my cheek and I could feel that the rest of my body was in a similar position. I pushed myself up again only to see Shikamaru’s face. He blinked his eyes open and looked up at me with mild confusion. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice gruff from sleep.

“I… uh,” against my will, my face felt hot. I had always had terrible manners in my sleep (“I know that,” Sakura said, “During our sleep-overs you always crowded me until I was basically on the floor.”) It might have been one thing if we were both fully dressed, but my hands were on his bare chest, my leg was in between his, and by the feel of it through the t-shirt on my stomach, his towel had bunched up and didn’t seem to be riding as high on his hips as it was when we initially laid down.

Shikamaru seemed to notice our predicament at the same time as I did because his eyebrow did this sort of weird twitch, even as I tried to keep my cool. Now the predicament was, if I got up, would he be completely… revealed? Just as I decided to turn my head and just roll to the side like I was unaware, I felt something… appear…. between us. Shikamaru had officially changed from confused and uncomfortable to red and embarrassed before I finally just rolled to the side, turning my head to look at the wall while I did it.

“Uh, um… Sorry, Shika. I’m clingy in my sleep, I guess,” I babbled as I felt him moving and adjusting himself behind me as I slid to the opposite edge of the bed, “We have to get up to meet Chouji soon, so I should probably let you get dressed and all…”

He didn’t say anything. I wasn’t sure if I had ever managed to make Shikamaru embarrassed in our whole life, so I had no idea how he would react. I walked to the door without looking back at him and closed it gently behind me.

I-

** ** ** **

“You’re just toying with me now,” Sakura said angrily, “You were in BED with him. He was UNDRESSED and that’s still not when-“

“Sakura, Sakura, Sakura. Just sleeping next to your half naked teammate does not mean you just start boinking. I mean, how many times have you seen Naruto like, entirely naked? I’m not even on his team and I’m fairly sure I’ve seen him at some point-“

“Maybe when he was twelve! Get on with the story already!”

“I’m getting to it! We’re almost there!”

** ** ** **

I stood outside his door. My face still felt hot and I had no idea what to do.

Was he mad? Was he just embarrassed? I knew I was. But I also knew I didn’t want to let this thing fester until I lost all of the friendship points I had just made with him. 

But I couldn’t exactly just barge back in and say, “Hey, Shikamaru. I’m sorry I felt your penis. Don’t worry about it; it was indirect anyway, right? Two layers of indirectness. Your towel and my clothes… and my underwear. So actually, three layers! Mega indirect!”

I was still trying to figure it out in my head when his door opened and I leapt out of the way like a scalded cat, smacking my forehead against the opposite wall with a painful thump. I felt Shikamaru grab me by the shoulders as I careened back, holding my throbbing head.

“Baka onna,” he chided as he let me go, “Why were you standing right in front of my door?”

“B-because… I’m sorry!” My head was throbbing, but that was just the painful distraction I needed to make me able to bring up my team-mate’s erection, “When I… laid on top of you. It was an accident. We were asleep, so... that’s all that happened.”

He tsked, “I know that.” He had put on pants, but had left off his shirt. His hair had dried into its usual spikey mess.

“I just wanted to let you know that’s it’s no big deal. Dudes have penises and sometimes, things happen to them. It’s all perfectly natural,” I rambled.

His frown deepened, “I know it’s perfectly natural. You don’t have to tell me-“

“Yeah! Good!” I chirped.

“What’s so ‘yeah good’ about it? Just how hard did you hit your head just now? …Are you crying?” he asked, looking down at me, perplexed. 

“My eyes are just watering. It hurts,” I admitted. I hadn’t noticed it as I tried to apologize to Shikamaru, but tears were welling up in my eyes. Shikamaru sighed. He seemed to have an unlimited amount of energy to do that. But he plopped his arms on top of my shoulders and rested them there while looking down at me with obvious distain in his eyes.

“What are you doing?” I asked, wiping the tears from my face. I was worried they wouldn’t stop (my tears didn’t stop so easily these days, no matter what caused them), but Shika’s strange embrace was a distracting.

“I’m hugging you. Since you’re crying. It’s what you were trying to do to me, right?”

“Um…” I said. Our bodies were about a foot apart and he was using my shoulders as an arm rest, “Usually when you hug, you don’t stand so far apart.”

“Well I’m not squeezing you like you did to me. It felt like I was being mugged by a monkey.”

“It did not!” I said, knocking his arms off of me and taking a step back, “Can’t you even enjoy a hug without over analyzing it?”

“I guess not,” he said, smirking.

“Well I feel sorry for you, then,” I turned to walk to my room. My eyes still felt a little teary, but I tried to fight it as I heard his footsteps behind me.

“What are you doing? Are you still crying?” he asked in a mocking tone.

I tossed my head and my damp hair flew at his face, but he avoided it, “Why do you care? Apparently I’m just some kind of annoying monkey person to you.”

“You are annoying,” he admitted.

I raised my fist at him, “Now you’re being mean to me?” I shouted, my eyes welling over again. It was embarrassing to cry while you were angry, but if anything, I felt like crying even more than before.

He studied my face and my upturned first for a moment before slumping back into his usual posture, “I guess fighting with you to cheer you up isn’t a good strategy,” he said, dropping his smirk.

“You were trying to cheer me up?” I asked, wiping the tears that were freely flowing down my face.

“Using the method you always use on me,” he held up his fists to match mine, and smiled humorlessly, “I guess I’m pretty bad at comforting girls though.”

“That’s… really nice,” I stuttered out as the kindness of his words finally got through to me and made me cry harder. Before I knew it, he had pulled me into a proper hug with my arms and face pressed against his chest.

“Maa… maa… Why are you crying?” he sighed into the crown of my head.

“I dunno…” I sniffled into his shoulder as a reply, “You promise you’re… not mad…?”

“Baka… why would I be mad? You’re the one I thought would be angry. Or are you crying because of… my… um…”

“No,” I replied as he probably wracked his brain for a non-upsetting way to say penis. The injury had set off my tears initially, but I had been more than a little worried about Shika being mad at me. I seemed to spend a lot of time in the past few days making sure I didn’t lose the connection I had made with him that day at the river. Why did he have to be so hard to hold on to?

We stood there awhile as I cried and eventually, he led me into my bedroom and sat me down on the edge of my bed and then sat down beside me. He wasn’t trying to hug me anymore, but the heat from his shoulder touching mine was still nice. I was beginning to get a hold of myself, but every time I looked up at him and made eye contact, a few more tears leaked out. Maybe all the stress he put Chouji and I through was finally bubbling over.

"Can I lay down while we do this? I mean, If we're gonna be here awhile?" Shikamaru finally asked, squishing his face into a tired expression.

That made me laugh and he just gave me this women-make-no-sense look and fell backwards on to my bed. 

"Are you still sleepy?" I asked. He rolled on his side slowly and gave me a bored look.

"Worry about yourself," he said, then glanced down at my hand on the bed. Grimacing, he gave it a few consoling pats.

"You're like my grandma," I said, wiping my tears with a small laugh, "I know you don't really care about women, but you do want a girlfriend eventually, right? Don't you think you should learn how to act with them?"

He retracted his hand and gave me a sour look, "Are you saying you want me to treat you like a girlfriend?"

"No, not exactly. But your girlfriend won't be happy if you don't learn what to do when she's upset."

"If my girlfriend gets upset, I'll probably just take a long mission," he snarked, but just to prove me wrong, he sat up, wrapped his arms around me, then plopped back down, pulling me to him, he asked in his long-suffering tone, "Is this better?"

"Uh-huh," I said. His face was close and his eyes were closed, so I felt free to study him. He had shaved in the shower and his skin was effortlessly smooth, a feature that I had greatly resented in my teen years when long missions left me red and broken out while he glowed like a wood nymph under days of sweat and dirt. His sharp brows, his long eyes, his lashes - as I stared I felt calmer.

"Isn't that what your dad did?" I suddenly asked, remembering his comment from before. He creaked an eye open and made a sound like, Meh?

"Took long missions to escape your mom’s wrath?"

"It was impossible to escape my mom’s wrath," he said thoughtfully. I felt his breath on his face. 

"Maybe your future girlfriend won't have so much wrath. But if she does, then what'll you do?" I asked.

He sighed, "Why don't you just tell me what to do? I tried to imitate you, but I just made you cry. Besides, I know you like to hear yourself talk."

He closed his eyes again, his lips curled in a small, self-satisfied smile at his reply.

"Well..." I said, then grinned. I couldn't resist teasing him when the rare opportunity presented itself, especially after his little insult. I pushed myself closer. Our chests touched. He opened one eye to glance at me, but both of his eyes were wide by the time I closed mine and planted a kiss on him.

His whole body flinched; his spine bowed away from me, his arms went ridged where they hovered over my sides, which freed me to wrap my arms around his neck and pull even closer.

He wretched his face away from mine, straining his neck against my grasp.

"Ino!" He grunted.

"Eeeheehee," I said, rubbing our noses together before changing my expression to one more innocent, "What?" I asked, batting my eyes, "You asked me what would work."

"Cheh!" He exclaimed as he tried to wriggle away while I held on, laughing.

"Well you're obviously feeling better. So let. Go." He grunted, pulling my arms off of him. I squirmed out of his grasp and latched myself on to his torso.

"Don't be such a baby. Let's sit together a little longer."

He grumbled in annoyance, finally giving up the fight, reluctantly plopping his arm over my side again. If there was anything good about Shikamaru, it was that he didn't dig his heels in over little stuff.

But even after lying together with my head on his chest for a few minutes, he didn't relax, which was making tense too. 

"We should probably get ready soon," I said, pulling away from him. He glanced down at me looking more cranky than before.

"I didn't get to finish my nap," he complained quietly, then he grabbed me, wrapping his arms tight around my sides.

"Hey!" I complained.

"So when I'm sad, you'll fight with me to take my mind off of things and when you're sad, you want me to kiss you."

"Hmph! I was just teasing you a bit," I said, turning my head to face the ceiling.

"It seemed to cheer you up though," he said plainly.

"I was already feeling better," I replied.

Then his warm fingers touched my cheek, turning my face back towards him on the bed. Before I knew it, his lips were gently pressed into mine.

Naturally, I screeched against his mouth. He was actually smiling when he pulled away.

"What are you doing?" I shouted, pushing against his chest with my arms, bring my knees up to help pry myself out of his vice grip, “Pervert! Molester! You…!”

"What? I was just practicing the advice you gave me about women," He said, but he couldn't sound innocent while he was grinning like that, “And if I’m a pervert and a molester, doesn’t that mean you’re the same, since you just did that to me?”

I couldn't really say anything to that, so I just struggled. After a few seconds, he actually laughed.

"If I knew kissing you would shut you up, I would have done it a long time ago."

"Ha! Yeah right! Like you would," I said disdainfully, finally managing to put my foot flat against his hip and shove myself away from him.

"I just did," he said, as he watched me scramble to the edge of the bed and stand up.

"Hmph! You weren't so tough when I kissed you a few minutes ago! You nearly broke your neck trying to get away."

He shrugged lying down, a move that could not be more Shikamaru if it tried, "Well, never let it be said that I won't do unpleasant things for my team mate."

I was stuck without words again, so I flounced out of my room with all the dignity I could muster. He was so cheeky. And apparently cheering him up was bringing back his sarcastic side as well.

"I don't know why you're pretending to be mad. You kissed me, although it was a pretty poor performance," his voice trailed after me down the hall, "With your current level of skill, you should be glad to get in some practice."

"Oh, like you've kissed so many people?" I said loudly, turning on my heel, "Your kiss didn't exactly inspire flowers blooming and cherubs singing and... all that stuff!"

"It was better than yours. Or are you supposed to tense up your lips like a fish as you're kissing someone?" he asked.

"Oh please," I said, and somehow, without realizing it, I had stomped back into my bedroom, staring coldly at his sly face as he sat up and scratched his head leisurely "You're just trying to pick a fight to make me lose track of time and get out of volunteering at the academy. You know who has the most kissing experience in this room,” I said.

"Experience doesn't equal skill. Although I will say-"

I swooped over and kissed him, mostly just to freak him out again and regain my upper hand. I made a point to catch his lips in line and kiss him with my whole mouth, holding his face between my hands so he couldn't get away before I was done with him.

It actually took me a few seconds to realize that he wasn't struggling to get away; on the contrary, he seemed to have been expecting this. He had one hand on the side of my neck and the other on the back of my head and he was pressing his lips to mine as fervently as I was to him. When his hand slid down my back and pulled me to him, it was either sit down on his lap or wrench my head away- I chose to sit, pushing my hips into his and wrapping my legs around his back as he opened his mouth against me, kissing me thoroughly.

I barely knew what was happening. Were we still arguing? Because it felt too good for it to be a game. I was having feelings. Girl-boy-want-to-touch feelings. 

I opened my eyes and saw his face, eyes closed, both tense and relaxed, and it washed away my confusion somewhat and that feeling of familiar comfort returned. I trusted Shikamaru more than anyone in the world. He would never take a game this far. A rush of desire sped through my body and I shivered. I'd wanted boys before and imagined these kinds of scenarios, but the reality of kissing a boy on my bed with my legs wrapped around him was mind melting.

I felt him against me again through the soft material of his pants, but I had no desire to flee like I did earlier that morning, although at the same time, a nervous feeling fluttered in my belly along with intense want. They counter acted each other somewhat, but desire was the winning factor overall.

He released my lips and kissed my neck and I gasped. His name was on the tip of my tongue, but it felt like we were in some enchantment and any word would break the spell.

His hands were creeping higher, but never went above my rib cage. I ran my hands along his bare back, my fingertips dipping below the band of his pants as I traced his spine. I felt his muscles tense with every pass, until he moved his mouth to my ear and all I could do was hold on to him and whimper. My hips moved of their own volition, to try to ease the ache I felt by pressing against him. I heard his first gasp and the sound went straight to my core. In one frenzied moment, I could no long stand the teasing and I pulled his hands under my shirt to my breasts. He continued the motion and swept my shirt over my head before returning his attention to what really mattered.

His face was buried in my neck, our chests touched. Every nerve I had was a pin prick. I kept having these little mini revelations between each sensation. Shikamaru is a good kisser; Shikamaru sounds sexy when he moans; I was almost naked in front of Shikamaru and I liked it. His hands were on my breasts and I didn't want to punch him. I was letting him do whatever he wanted to me.

That last thought turned me on so much that the pleasant pulses between my thighs almost became painful. I writhed against the hardness pressed against my heat and whimpered. 

I knew what I wanted, but how could I say it to Shikamaru of all people? What if he teased me, or held it against me later? A thousand formless scenarios were forming, trying to go to war with the feelings that were clouding my mind. 

I suddenly noticed that he stopped. I didn't know when I had closed my eyes, but when I opened them, Shikamaru was staring at my face. I thought he was about to say we should stop; heck, in the sudden silence that had descended around us, I almost said it, but he opened his mouth before me.

"I promise to keep you safe," he said breathlessly, holding my face to his as I stared into the deep hazel of his eyes, "I've been awful since... then, and I might still be that way sometimes, but I'll always protect you in whatever way I can. You can trust me, forever."

"I trust you," I said, "I trust you." I caught his mouth against mine again and he kissed me harder than before. He wrapped one arm around my back and the other cradled my head as he laid me back against the nest of blankets in the upper corner of my bed.

He leaned over me and kissed my belly as his hands swept over my waist, catching hold of my shorts and panties and dragging them to my knees. And my butterflies did come back with a vengeance at that because when I looked up at his face, well… he wasn't looking into my eyes. I actually had to look away when spread my legs apart to crawl between them. I tried to wrap my legs around him, but he pushed my knees up toward my chest and apart until my legs were spread as far as they could, flush against the bed and I was shaking with anticipation and overflowing with desire under his scrutiny. 

His hand left my right knee and cupped my mound and I nearly came right then, but then I felt his fingers gently parting my nether lips until I was completely exposed to him. My eyes were only opened for a moment, long enough to see him staring intensely between my thighs before the feel of a single, cool finger touching my 

** ** **

"Euuuueewww!" Chouji shouted, the volume increasing as he rounded the corner, "Enough of that nasty story. Forever enough. I can't... How can you even..." Chouji shook his head a few times before he finally just announced that breakfast was ready and left the room.

“Maybe I was getting a bit graphic,” Ino said with a guilty grin as she stood up, giving Sakura, who was looking a lot less pale, a hand.

“I was kind of too absorbed to notice,” Sakura said and, in the back of her mind, wondered if maybe she would have had some similar erotic experience with Sasuke if she hadn’t stopped them and felt a small pang of regret, which she shook off. That’s not my heart talking, she thought lamentingly as she followed Ino through the kitchen.

“Can you go get Shikamaru?” Chouji asked as they rounded into the Yamanaka family dining room. Like all of the rooms, it felt a little empty without its original furniture and paintings on the walls, “You promised you’d help me get him to eat his three meals a day.”

“Ugh, but he always bites my head off when I try to wake him up…” Ino said, fiddling with a fork on the table, “You do it, Sakura. He’ll probably be nice if it’s you.”

“What? Me? No, that’d be weird.”

“Come on. At least let me use you as a shield. As payment for waking me up so early. Come on, come on,” Ino said, pushing Sakura back into the hall and into Ino’s ex-bedroom room, revealing a Shikamaru that hadn’t shifted positions since Sakura had last seen him.

Ino pushed her to the side of the bed and said, “Just stand there,” then she walked around to the other side of the bed and jumped down as hard as she could. Shikamaru woke with a start, his eyes flying open to catch Sakura in his startled glance.

“Sakura? What the hell?” he gasped.

“Wake up, sleepy head!” Ino announced, glomping on to his shoulders.

“What the hell is going on?” he groaned as Ino’s weight pulled him back into a prone position.

“Chouji says it’s breakfast time and there’s no more skipping meals,” Ino said sweetly, nibbling his ear. Sakura cringed and looked away, because despite having heard some pretty intimate details about their dating life, the visual was a still a little too much.

“Get off me, woman,” he complained, trying to free himself from her embrace and failing.

“I’ve got my body-swap ready if you want me to force feed you…” Ino threatened in a sing song voice.

“Then I’ll just keep you in my shadow jutsu and make you lay here all day,” Shikamaru said, finally rolling into her embrace.

Sakura decided to exit the room at that point. When Chouji met her eyes as she reentered the dining room, he seemed to understand immediately.

“Oh God… You two!” he shouted, stomping out of the room, “Both of you get out here this minute and eat this breakfast or I’m going to come in there and jump on top of both of you!”

Sakura sat down and didn’t know whether to laugh or bury her head in her hands. Life just kept changing. And not according to plan. She loved Ino and was happy she seemed happy, but this was just another shift in dynamics that she would have to get used to.

Chouji came back into the room followed by a sheepish looking Ino and Shikamaru.

“Sakura. Sorry. When did you get here?” Shikamaru asked.

Sakura was about to answer, but Ino cut her off.

“Baaaka, you’re the one who let her in.”

Shikamaru looked a little confused, “Did I…?”

“Some ninja you are,” Ino said.

“It’s actually kind of amazing,” Sakura smiled, “Your brain had the power to move your sleeping body on instinct when you heard me knocking.”

“Psh,” Ino said, but she was smiling and her arm was wrapped around Shikamaru’s as they sat side by side at the table.

Chouji looked a little annoyed, but said nothing as he began to dish large helpings of some sort of egg casarole on to Shikamaru’s and Ino’s plates. Chouji sure knew how to make the best of the rations. When a generous plate of food was finally settled before all of them, and they were well on their way to devouring it, Chouji said between bites.

“So Sakura, what are you gonna say to Sasuke’s proposal?”

Sakura nearly choked. Ino pointed her fork at Chouji, “What do you mean proposal?”

“You know,” Chouji said, “The friends with benefits thing.”

“I thought you were with Naruto now,” Shikamaru yawned around his fork.

“Ino!” Sakura cried, “You told him?”

“Dummy! That was supposed to be a secret!” Ino said, shaking a confused looking Shikamaru by his arm.

“Woah ho ho. Sasuke made a move on you when you’re already with Naruto. That seems about right…” Chouji said to himself.

Sakura groaned helplessly in to her plate.

“No, no, no!” Ino said, “That’s not it at all. Let me just explain it. Is that ok, Sakura?”

“I guess so! Since they have all these crazy ideas now!”

Ino explained while Sakura aggressively ate her food and the others listened.

“Hnn…” Shikamaru said, staring into space while not eating, “So, your feelings for Sasuke are unresolved, but you’re determined not to waver from Naruto. Is that it?”

Sakura nodded.

“Then it seems like the only thing you can do it make it official with Naruto. That will give Sasuke enough reason to back off. You can still let time do it’s healing in regards to your feelings for him, but there’s no reason to put off what you already know is inevitable… which is dating Naruto,” Shikamaru said.

Ino smiled at him with admiration.

Chouji, however, looked concerned, “That seems like a sound strategy, Sakura. Unless… in your heart of hearts, what you’re really struggling with is letting go of Naruto.”

Sakura shook her head and, to her surprise, her eyes welled with tears. Ino half stood from her chair, but Sakura waved her off, “I’m fine, I’m fine. I think… in my heart of hearts, I know I will never ever forgive myself if I choose Sasuke. I don’t think I’ll ever be happy with him either. And with Naruto, I’m already happy. I’ve been happy with him all this time, even if I didn’t know it. It’s just… I’ll be letting this dream that I had die. That’s all. It’s not the real him. It was just a dream I clung on to through a lot of painful times. I’ve never had him. And I don’t think I ever would, even if we were together. He’s just too unpredictable; he’d have me in shreds. But I can honestly say that I love Naruto. I think you have the right idea, Shikamaru-kun. That’s what I should have done from the start.”

Despite her best efforts, throughout her babbling speech, Sakura couldn’t keep the tears from falling down her face.

Ino finally came around the table and embraced her and Sakura hugged her back as hard as she could without hurting her.

** ** **

The boys cleared out of the room pretty quickly after that, giving each other knowing, alarmed glances, leaving the two girls in peace.

After a while, Sakura sniffled, “Ino… You and Shikamaru don’t get along at all. Do you think you’re really right for each other? I really want to know.”

Ino frowned, “Sakura… You don’t need to be with someone you don’t get along with…But since you’re asking, are you sure you’re sure about not pursuing things with Sasuke?”

“Yes, I really am. I was just thinking about… well, everything. You’re with Shikamaru and you don’t get along,” she said, wiping her tears on her sleeve.

“Yeah, but… I don’t think it’s the same.”

"Well how did you know Shikamaru was the right one?" Sakura asked. Ino frowned and fixed her eyes on the ceiling.

"The right one? I guess I didn't know, for sure..."

Sakura sniffed, "So if you were in my situation, like if Chouji had fallen in love with you at the same time that Shika made a move, do you know who you’d have picked?"

Ino suddenly grinned, "I’d like to say I'd pick Shikamaru for sure, but I honestly don't know. I can't even imagine that situation. I wasn't in love with either of them; I hadn't even thought about Shikamaru that way until we made out, at least not since we were like, nine years old. So if that happened... Heh, I'd have probably run away from both of them and just made out with Sai instead."

"Sai?!" Sakura exclaimed, her heart suddenly leaping with surprise, "I didn't know you liked Sai that way," she said.

"Eh, I've always liked him a bit," Ino admitted casually, "And I'm pretty sure he likes me."

"What? How can you tell? The guy barely shows any emotion."

Smiling, Ino said, "I can just tell."

That girl has the instincts of a wild animal, Sakura thought as she tried to control the expression on her face.

But then another question occurred to her.

"Um, Ino... not to make you get into the more graphic parts of the story again, but... what did Shikamaru say after... everything?"

"Worried about what Sasuke is going to say after your dramatic clinch?” Ino quipped, then apologized after seeing Sakura’s worried face, “Sorry, sorry. But, well, Shika won't be of any help. It was fine. He was kinda different, of course, but still... Shikamaru-y."

*** 

I propped up on my elbows, staring down at Shikamaru's face. He looked so peaceful. He could have been twelve again, sleeping under the blue sky. I touched his face. He didn't stir.

We had missed our appointment at the academy. 30 kids were probably fighting to the death in an unsupervised classroom at the moment because of us, but I was too absorbed in what had happened to care. I'd just tell Iruka-sensei we had to help an old lady out of a tree or something.

"Shikamaru?" I asked, "Are you asleep?"

"No," he said, keeping his eyes closed.

I laid back down on his chest.

"What's wrong?" He asked. I felt his voice rumble in his chest.

"Nothing. I mean, I'm fine. Good, like... You know," I said, suddenly feeling like blushing, "Just kinda wondering how this happened, I guess."

"Really? I thought this was all pretty according to plan."

I tsked, "I didn't have a plan! Wait... did you have a plan?"

"Yes," he said baldly, but I could feel him grinning, "But I thought you must have had a plan since you kissed me first... Well, even if you didn't have a plan, you definitely had an ulterior motive."

"If there was any motivation there, I guarantee you it was subconscious. But anyway, don't change the subject! What was your plan? I wanna know," I said, crawling up his chest and resting my chin on my hands.

"It was barely a plan. More of an idea," he said. I stared at him until he caved and elaborated, "I thought I could steer us into an argument where you would feel the need to prove what a good kisser you are," he admitted.

"But how did you know we would end up like this though? Was what you said right before we were about to... um... Was that just to convince me-"

"No," He sighed and hugged his arms around me, "I meant that. And I had no idea how far we were gonna go. I just knew I could get you to kiss me again."

"Well I guess you were right... But... I'm just curious... how far did you think we'd go, because I know you had an estimate of some kind."

"I swear I didn't. I just knew if you kissed me again, I could get you to keep kissing me."

"How?"

He rolled us over, holding himself up by his arms, his hair falling around his face as he stared down at me.

"Like this," he said and proceeded to kiss me in the same way that made me lose my head the first time.

***

"Ah..." Sakura said, "Yeah. That won't be the case with me. Who knew Shikamaru was so cool when it came to this stuff?" 

But Ino seemed lost in her own reverie, staring off into space with a huge grin on her face. Sakura took that uncomfortable moment as a chance to make her exit. There was just too much info being thrown her way; from Sasuke and from her own realizations. She was also still trying to absorb the change in Ino, which was completely out of left field, but not really in a bad way.

Sakura wiped the remains of her tears from her face, stood, and said, "Well, I'm going to get out of here and get some sleep." And though Ino invited her to borrow her room (apparently she and Shikamaru had been sharing her old bedroom most of the time) Sakura waved away the invitation and made her exit, hugging her friend close and promising to come by again in the next day or so.

** ** **

Sakura knew she couldn’t go home, not yet. She was more than a little afraid to see Sasuke, even when she was armed with the knowledge that she was going to choose Naruto no matter what Sasuke did or said.

 

Instead, her feet took her to the hospital where she supposed she would start her shifts again a day early. Or maybe just grab a nap in an empty room, she thought as yet another yawn bubbled out of her. The early morning light was harsher to her eyes as she trudged down the street and now that she was alone, she felt the full anxiety of her situation.

I wonder if every team goes through this when they get older, she thought. It was so weird and kind of incestuous, but at the same time it made perfect sense for people so close to fall in love with each other should the right circumstances come along. In Ino and Shikamaru's case, she guessed the right circumstances were constant fighting and close quarters. While Sakura's had begun... when? The beginning of time, she thought bleakly.

I wish Kakashi-sensei was around to talk to, she thought, then admonished herself. She had had that exact same thought so many times as a genin, and then again when Naruto and Sasuke were away, that she thought she’d beaten it out of herself by now. No matter what was going on, she would never have the connection she with Kakashi-sensei that she had longed for as a child. She’d been forced to accept that he was only going to be around on his terms, no matter how many big scrapes he saved her from. He just wasn’t that interested in her.

Besides, aside from Ino, she wasn’t sure she wanted to talk about her chaotic feelings and her messy love life.

Her dizzying, downward spiral of depressing thoughts didn’t stop until she snuck in the back entrance of the hospital and laid down on a the couch in the empty medic’s lounge where we stared at the ceiling for about five second before falling into a deep sleep.

** ** **

 

A/N: Hi guys. Thanks for being so patient and so sweet with kudos and likes and such. Every now and then I would get one and it would remind me that I had this chapter sitting in my computer, cracking its knuckles and giving me menacing looks, daring me to toughen up and finish it. The Sakura parts of this chapter were 95% complete LITERALLY the same day I posted the last chapter. But then I was like, wouldn’t it be cool to have this other, somewhat similar story running parallel to show this and that and, long story short, I got a little big for my britches. The Ino-Shika was NOT coming to me. And it refused to end @-@ I toyed with taking it out and just moving on with the main story, but after I’d done all that writing I decided against it, so hopefully you guys liked my the little first-person Ino interlude. Rest assured, it’s not going to take over the story by any means and the next chapter will get back to our regularly scheduled programming (although there will be more to this side story. I goss plans for it! But it probably won’t be back for awhile.)  
Anyway, as I typed the final words for this chapter, I realized I’d need to post the next one right after it because otherwise, the flow of the story would feel a bit too altered (no duh, right? This is like, 15,000 words of Ino’s internal monologue. Of course it feel like I’ve gotten off course!) So I’m going to try to get that up ASAP-P-P! It’s actually already mostly written (dare I say it), so it should be up in the next few days. Love!


	9. Chapter 9

Naruto blinked into lucidity, looking up at the wooden beams that were holding up Sasuke’s roof. He stretched and glanced around the room through blurry morning light. Something was wrong.

He stood up, scratched his stomach, used the bathroom, walked to the kitchen and boiled some water, all the while knowing that something was amiss. It was the fifth day in a row he’d woken up in an empty house with the feeling that he had missed something very important. It was uncomfortable, a queasiness that burned in his gut, just this side of being painful and it was growing stronger by the day. He could count the times in his life that he had had this particular feeling and none of them were good moments for him.

Naruto pulled on his black jacket, the cuffs a bit too tight around his wrists, the hem too short on his midsection. He had wilderness survival skills to teach to the young academy students and then a genin team that needed some one-on-one training while they waited for a real sensei to step up and lead them fulltime. His mind, though, was at the hospital where Sakura was spending all of her time, and with Sasuke while he was chasing down some nasty rogue nin that had been taking advantage of all the traveling merchants bringing supplies into Konoha. 

The quiet of the empty house should have helped him think, but it actually did the opposite. Naruto didn’t like to be alone with his thoughts, preferring to think things over aloud, usually with someone to bounce ideas off of. Ero-sennin used to be good for that, and Sakura, too. But every time he saw her, she seemed to be giving off a weird vibe.

Naruto knew he wasn’t the best at reading people; he only seemed to realize there was a major problem when someone was punching him, like Sasuke. Or if they were acting very strange, like when Sakura confessed to him all those years ago.

Naruto paused mid-way as he shut the front door. Sakura and Sasuke were both acting strange. They weren’t coming home. Naruto hadn’t seen Sasuke since he had accepted a mission and took off four days ago, leaving only a note explaining where he had gone. Sakura said that her parents were nagging her to visit them more, but she didn’t usually stay with them for days on end, did she? He had never lived with her before all this, so he had no idea, but it seemed… odd. Especially when she was pulling full days at the hospital. Why would she agree to travel so far out of town day after day if there wasn’t something going on? 

Naruto leaned his head against the door frame, trying to think. A sort of rough calculation was forming in his head, but all the elements buzzed around, incomplete. Finally, he groaned and slammed the door shut before he leapt away from the house, landing in the middle of the dusty street. He continued to grumble as he made his way to the academy, his chin tucked into his chest. It was useless trying to figure it out, he decided. The only thing he could do was find Sasuke or Sakura and ask what was happening. Trying to guess just made the feeling in his stomach worse.

** ** **

It had been a long morning. Naruto had to accept the fact that maybe he wasn’t too great at teaching. Kakashi-sensei made it look easy- he read his books, told them who should hide where during missions and occasionally, on rare occasions, showed them a technique or two to try for themselves. Now he had no idea how the masked ninja pulled it off. 

The kids had been happy enough, at first. Naruto felt a small swell of pride when the kids all cheered as he walked into the class room. But after a couple fights broke out over who got to walk next to him as they tumbled out into the forest, Naruto thought that maybe his current popularity was more of a deficit to his teaching abilities rather than an asset. After that, well… some of the kids tried hard, but most of them just complained and, as they began to fall into each other’s traps and trip over their own knots, it became more like wrangling a herd of really stupid and clumsy monkeys into a sack than teaching future ninja. When they came back inside, Iruka-sensei got one look at his tired face and grinned from ear to ear. Naruto glared at him. Even with all of his pranks, he was certain he had never been that much trouble. He’d wanted to be Hokage someday, after all.

The morning had been enough to distract him for a while, but as soon as he set out to lunch, his mind was back on Sakura and Sasuke. To avoid putting it off any longer, he had decided to visit Sakura at the hospital for lunch, but when he got there, she was in the middle of teaching a bunch of healers some chakra technique that he’d never seen before. When she saw him standing in the door (a few of the healers had been taking turns staring at him over her shoulder) she smiled so beautifully that he almost forgot why he’d came. She called a break for the healers and walked over to the doorway where he waited.

“I’ve got to keep this rolling for another hour at least. Sorry,” Sakura said, “I would have planned for the class to start earlier if I knew you wanted lunch.”

“It’s ok. Will I see you tonight?” Naruto asked, his eyes drinking in the short pink puff of her ponytail, her skin against her white and red hospital clothes, as though they’d been sore without her.

She looked hesitant, glanced back at her class for a moment and dithered, “Well-“

“Oh, I forgot to tell you,” Naruto said suddenly, “Sasuke’s been gone on a mission, so you can use his mattress, if you want.”

Naruto didn’t know where the words came from. He didn’t know he was going to say them before they came out. But when they did, he couldn’t help but see Sakura’s expression as it changed from startled, to a slight frown, to an uncomfortable smile. 

“Did he really say that, or are we just taking liberties with his bedroom?” Sakura asked, her green eyes turning up to meet his with an impish expression. It was the first time they’d made eye contact since he arrived, he realized. 

“Liberties, of course,” Naruto smiled, and he noticed it felt fake.

“Well, if it’s to annoy Sasuke with you, I’ll definitely make sure I come home tonight,” she said, and glanced back at the healers who were chatting amongst themselves, “I’ll see you later then.”

“Ok. Bye,” he said, running off to meet his genin team with an empty feeling in his chest.

 

** ** **

“Bye bye, Naruto-sensei!” Miya-chan shouted as he parted with her on the way home. He felt a small bubble of joy floating up through him. Naruto-sensei, he thought, and chuckled to himself.

There was a vast difference in genin and academy students and it was with a spring in his step that he walked home. He had shaken off his doubts about Sakura after some time with the kids. 

Whenever one of them spouted off about whatever was on their mind or got into a stupid argument just to have it resolved in twenty seconds, he thought, Ah. That’s just like us. Even though they bickered almost as much as the academy kids, there was a deeper bond there. The heart of the team had already begun building and kept them pulled together, relying on each other without meaning to.

Naruto decided he would ask Sakura about her behavior when he got home and everything would be fine, like it always was. There was no need to suspect anything or be guarded. He thought, with another chuckle, that maybe he was spending too much time with Sasuke and his broodiness was rubbing off on him.

As he walked home, he glanced into a few shops, wondering if he should pick something up. Most restaurants tended to add extra food on to his order, so even if he only used his rations, he could probably still get enough for both himself and Sakura. But he decided to wait for her to see what she wanted. Maybe they could go out, just the two of them. 

He was practically giddy when he tried to throw open the front door, only to find it locked.

“Keh…! Open up,” he grumbled, shaking at the handle. He scowled at the knob, but ended up walking around to the backdoor beside the bathtub, only to find it locked as well.

“What’s going on?” he whined, when the door suddenly opened in front of him.

“Did you lose your key?” Sasuke asked, glowering at him as he blocked the doorway. 

“Uh… n-no, teme. I just left it unlocked,” Naruto said, trying to recover from his shock, “So you’re home, then?”

“I just got back. Half the windows were open and the doors were all unlocked,” he said, but Naruto didn’t have the energy to deal with his complaints and his worry that Sakura would be back any moment and he hadn’t had a chance to talk to her yet. And worse, she might think he had lied just to get her home. He pushed past Sasuke, leaving the door open behind him.

“You didn’t say anything before you left,” Naruto said absently as he kicked off his sandals. He heard Sasuke shut the door behind him and the sound of the lock sliding into place.

“I would have talked to you about locking up before I left if I’d known you were so lax about it,” Sasuke said, an edge of challenge to his voice. Naruto turned to look at him.

He had seen him worse, Naruto thought as he gave him a once over. His face seemed fine, his body language was tense, but tense was normal for Sasuke.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, “Did you get a head injury while I was gone?”

Naruto scowled. The bastard was as pleasant as ever. He exhaled after feeling like he had held his breath all day long. Maybe Sakura and Sasuke’s weird behavior was all in his head after all.

He shook his head, glad that he’d already found his resolve to be honest. It made talking to Sasuke feel normal, even if he had been shocked to see him. 

“No, teme. I just have a lot on my mind. Are you worried about me?” Naruto asked, simpering and leaning toward him. Sasuke glared at him in response. All was right in the world.

“Where’s Sakura?”

“At the hospital. Are you gonna lecture her about the locks too? She’s the one who opens the windows all the time, by the way,” Naruto said, plopping down on his sleeping bag with a thump. “When are we getting some furniture in here, anyway? Did you get your pay when you stopped at headquarters?”

Sasuke sat down on Sakura’s sleeping bag, his elbow curled around one knee. He unwound his hiate from his forehead and massaged his brow.

“Why does it matter to you? I thought you two were getting an apartment.”

“You’re a friendly bastard, you know that? Are you honestly going to pretend that you’d rather live alone?”

“I’ve lived most of my life alone and that’s how I like it,” Sasuke said, laying back on the sleeping bag and closing his eyes. His equipment pouches were still hanging off his belt loops and he tugged at the ties without looking at them. Naruto briefly caught sight of the side of Sasuke’s wrist from under his sleeve and saw dark, brownish flecks that he immediately recognized as dried blood.

“Why don’t you take a bath,” Naruto said. Sasuke didn’t open his eyes or acknowledge him. Naruto pressed, “You should do it now before it gets even colder out.”

“Are you saying I stink?” Sasuke asked, finally opening his eyes to level an evil look in his direction.

“No. But it was a long mission and you are laying on Sakura’s bed. Not that she’d mind if it smelled like you, Sa-su-ke,” Naruto drawled, then grimaced. If someone asked him to list his hobbies, he’d probably say pranks, ramen and annoying Sasuke. But his comment had thrown a barb in his direction, too.

Cut it out, he chided himself, I’m just going to be me.

Thankfully, Sasuke didn’t seem to be looking at him as he rolled to his feet and walked to the back door.

Good, Naruto thought, He’s actually listening to me for a change. Naruto followed him outside, chattering as they went, “The plumber came by while you were gone, by the way. Did you forget you made an appointment? He was really pissed that he missed you. He wanted to measure stuff, but I didn’t know where you wanted everything, so I couldn’t help him. He said you have to stop by the shop and set another appointment for him to come out.”

Sasuke said nothing, turning on the hose to fill their make-shift metal-drum bathtub.

“I think he was ex-ninja or something. He seemed kinda buff… But he also looked like he could move fast, you know what I mean? But if he’d ever been a ninja I would have seen him at some point, so I kind of doubt he was. Do you remember the guy I’m talking about? Red hair with about thirty tattoos that you talked to last week? He’s always wears those big chains around his neck and he’s kind of dad aged?”

For an answer, Sasuke threw his shirt at him and scowled, “Are you ever quiet?”

Naruto balled it up and threw it back at him, “Do you ever speak except to spout off depressing bullshit about what a cool loner you are?”

“At least I’m telling the truth,” Sasuke said with an expressionless look on his face that Naruto thought was worse than the scowl.

“I think there’s a big different between the truth and just saying whatever comes to mind in the moment,” Naruto replied, “It might sound like honesty, but it’s not what you really feel on the inside.”

Sasuke smirked, “You’re such a hypocrite.”

“Look,” Naruto exclaimed, bounding over to him and grabbing his arm. Sasuke tried to tug it back, but Naruto was already bending it, shoving it close to Sasuke’s face, “You’ve still got someone’s blood on you. But instead of talking to me about it and getting it off your back, you’re just holding it in and picking a fight.”

Sasuke opened his mouth to speak, but Naruto cut him off, “And don’t even tell me that that’s just the way you are because you told me you wanted to change. And you were changing. But then you left home without any warning and now that you’re back your attitude is all bratty again. And… you… You made me worry when you left without saying anything! I know you left a note, but…”

Sasuke snatched his arm out of Naruto’s grasp and walked over to the tub. After thirty second of frogs chirping in the field behind the house and the sound of water splashing into the tub, Naruto’s temper got the better of him.

“Don’t ignore me, teme-“

“I’ve realized,” Sasuke said calmly, “That I might not be able to act the way you want me to act… That I can’t live up to your expectation of friendship.”

“…What are you saying?” Naruto said, even though he understood Sasuke’s words far too well. Naruto’s heart was pounding and he was trying not to just give into his temper and just start a punching match with the dark eyed boy in front of him. To have to deal with this problem again after he had been worried all day… His head was starting to feel fuzzy.

Sasuke scowled, “What do you mean, what am I saying? I can’t be the person you think I should be, not for you and not for anyone else. I can’t force myself to get along with you guys anymore. Can I be any clearer?”

Forget punching; Naruto thought strangling might be more satisfying. Struggling for words, Naruto sputtered, “Where… just… where is this coming from? How can you be fine, then disappear for a few days, then come back and be like this? What the fuck is that?” 

Naruto’s voice steadily rose until he was shouting. Weirdly enough, Sasuke looked almost as angry as he was. What, did he think Naruto was just going to say, Sure, that’s fine. Let’s not do the friendship thing, and walk away?

“Naruto,” Sasuke growled, taking a step forward, his hands clenched in a fist. Naruto balled his fists as well, but then Sasuke stopped. He dropped his hands and they fell loose at his sides. His face calmed into an empty mask and after he regained his composure, he spoke. 

“I’m… broken. All the things I saw; all the things I did; they changed me. Even if I stick around and try to force this, it’s never going to be right. It will always be… hard,” Sasuke closed his eyes for a long moment before he continued, “Let’s stop now and end it. I want to do it the right way this time.”

“Guess what? This isn’t the right way,” Naruto shot back immediately, “There is no right way. When people love you, you don’t leave them behind like they’re nothing. And this whole thing about my ‘expectations’ is bullshit. I don’t care what kind of sullen bastardy mood you’re in or the pissy comments or the fighting. I just want you around, just as you are.

“And you know something, even if everything you said was true, maybe I just want to be selfish! Maybe I want you to stay around for me! Despite yourself! Did you ever think of that? After all we’ve been through, can’t you at least do that for me? 

“You’ve tried to take away or destroy everything I’ve ever loved at one point or another. Kakashi-sensei, Sakura, Konoha, you. I’m surprised you’re not telling me you want to be Hokage right now,” Naruto snarled, “Can’t you just do something for me because you know how I feel about you? Even if it’s hard, can’t you just try a little more?”

“You don’t know how it feels,” Sasuke said. It was almost a whisper. He had his palm pressed against his forehead.

Naruto shouted, “OF COURSE I KNOW HOW IT FUCKING FEELS! I-”

“It hurts!” Sasuke said, his voice ragged, “I can’t- I don’t want this in my life! Do you hear me?” Suddenly, he gripped Naruto’s arms and shook him, “I don’t want you and your speeches! I don’t want Sakura looking over my shoulder! I hate how kind you two try to be all the time, how you hover! I just want to be left alone!”

Despite the dropping temperature and the cold, wet air wafting the smell of the untamed acreage behind the house over their skin on a breeze, they were both sweating.

Sasuke’s grip on Naruto’s arms loosened. As his hands fell, Naruto’s rose. Sasuke flinched, his arms bent against Naruto’s chest as he was pulled in to his arms.

“-off,” Sasuke mumbled. Naruto ignored him. He was ready to feel some kind of punch or throw, but Sasuke leaned passively against his shoulder where he held him. Naruto’s arms were shaking- he was holding on to him as hard as he could. His dark hair, so much coarser than Sakura’s, brushed his cheek. He could feel the sweat on Sasuke’s back under his hands.

“Maybe this is too much,” Naruto found himself saying after a long while, “We were on that mission for over a month and together the whole time. Now me and Sakura have invaded the Uchiha domain… Maybe you just need some time to collect yourself, ne?” Naruto relaxed his hold to pat Sasuke’s back, “It’s ok that we’re not the same, teme. I just need to meet you in the middle. It’ll be ok. Everything’s gonna be fine.”

As Naruto babbled more platitudes, he desperately tried to calm himself. His heart was hammering in his chest. He was doing his best not to breathe heavy. He had never been afraid of Sasuke in a physical fight, but he could sure scare the life out of him in other ways.

He heard shuffling in the yard and saw pink through the thin slats between the fence posts. Sasuke must have heard it as well because he finally started to push away from him. Naruto let him go and he backed up, running his hand over his face again. Expressionless Sasuke was back, Naruto thought with a jump in his stomach. He took a deep breath in and let it out. When he found one breath wasn’t enough, he did it again.

Sakura gasped and jumped a bit when she opened the fence to find them standing there, staring at her.

“W-what are you…” her eyes fell on to Sasuke and her mouth dropped open. Naruto saw her face go as pink as her hair, then lose color. Every emotion on her face was clear in that moment, to him. Sakura, who was usually so hard for him to read, hid nothing today. Suddenly, everything his mind had been trying to avoid, every thought he hadn’t wanted to think, was clear. It didn’t make breathing any easier.

“Sorry,” she said when she recovered from her initial shock, “The front door was locked and I didn’t bring my key, so I thought I’d just go around.”

When they said nothing, she looked nervously at both of them and said, “Well, I’ll just get out of your way…”

“Ah, no, Sakura-chan. It’s ok,” Naruto said, his voice catching in his throat as he spoke, “I just… well, Sasuke just got back, but… we’re both feeling a bit sick is all.”

“Sick?” she said, her voice strengthening. Suddenly she was someone else, someone who fixed “sick”.

“Yeah, just... uh,” Naruto floundered and chanced a peek at Sasuke, but it looked like Sasuke was determined not to say anything or look at anybody.

“If it’s illness and not an injury, I can’t offer any instant cures, but I can definitely make you both more comfortable. Let me take a look at you.”

Sakura stepped back outside and gave them both a hard once-over and then exclaimed, “You’re both sweating… and pale. Come inside. You shouldn’t be standing out in the cold, even if you’re feeling feverish.”

The lights inside the house seemed dimmer than usual to Naruto as Sakura shooed them inside. After all the arguing, with Sasuke scaring him and Sakura delivering the final blow, everything had a surreal film over it. The floor and the walls were blurry and a bit gray. Feeling like he was dreaming, Naruto watched Sakura as she went through the motions of being a healer. She didn’t break her mask again, but the memory of it burned like hell. Though his eyes had dulled, his mind raced between ideas of what might have happened and why it affected them both so much that all they could do was avoid each other.

Unless… they were actually just trying to avoid him.

“Naruto…? Are you feeling worse? You’re so quiet,” Sakura said, her face close to his. She leaned in, trying to press her cheek to his face, but to his surprise, he found himself gripping her shoulders, holding her away from him. 

After he realized it, he managed a small smile just in time. “Not so close… I don’t want you sick,” was Naruto’s excuse. Sakura stared at him hard. He stared back into her green eyes as well as he could. The room felt a little like it was spinning.

Naruto thought of the last five days with both of them gone, the worry that made him act like he was someone else, someone who was scared to see the truth. But his defenses had been torn down and it was so obvious that he couldn’t block it out anymore. 

Sakura loved Sasuke. And they were all denying it so hard that it was tearing the team apart.

I can’t lose them, he thought frantically, I won’t lose them. How the hell do I keep from losing them?

But the answer had already begun to descend on him like the shadow of a hungry beast.

Sakura was rambling away to Sasuke. He wasn’t speaking, but she seemed determined to fill the silences. Naruto interrupted her.

“Ne, Sakura-chan, I think I’ll just go to bed. And I was thinking that maybe I’d sleep in Sasuke’s room. Keep the two of us in quarantine.”

“Well… it’s not a terrible idea… Maybe you could share the bed, stay off the cold floor.”

“If it’s teme’s bed, it’ll still be cold,” Naruto said. At least insults still came naturally to him in times of stress. Probably because of all the practice.

Sasuke didn’t say anything, so Naruto walked over to him and pulled him by the arm. He didn’t resist that either, and Naruto couldn’t help but notice the surprise on Sakura’s face. 

Will I always be this hyper aware of how she looks? If I had noticed stuff like this before, would it have been better for us all? There was no small amount going on in his head as he padded barefoot atop the wooden floors, but the last thought he had stuck:

Why was it so hard to let go of something that was never really his in the first place?

** ** **

A/N: Hi gwahs! I felt like the story kind of lost its momentum because of the MEGA chapter that occurred before this one, but it feels back on track to me now! Tally-ho!

This was another one that started as like, 1000 words and got bumped x 4. And a Naruto chapter at that. ‘Tis a miracle. 

Anyway, I hope you guys like it!


	10. Chapter 10

\---Sasuke---

Sasuke was too tired to even be annoyed with himself. Naruto was sitting across from him on his mattress. He had dried blood on his body. He hadn’t even been able to pretend to be alright in front of Sakura. But he had had enough. He couldn’t feel anything else today.

Sasuke had felt this way before, but in the past he just crawled under a rock until the feelings retreated. But now he was trapped and Naruto and Sakura had seen him at his weakest. He knew he would care tomorrow, but tonight he just felt like laying down and feeling nothing until morning.

With a last brief glance at the blonde sitting at the foot of his bed, he crawled under his blanket and fell immediately to sleep.

****  
Sasuke woke feeling dead and drugged. It was still pitch black.

There was creaking of floor boards in the hall and the sound immediately filled him with rage. Didn’t those two idiots ever sleep? He threw off his blankets, confirming that Naruto was indeed missing from his bed, and then rose. 

He could believe that Sakura would sneak out of the house at night wanting nothing more than fresh air, but Naruto? More than likely, the idiot was looking around for someone to talk to about what had happened between them and more than likely, that person would be Sakura.

He crept into the hall, cursing them both silently. He had to make Naruto understand that he couldn’t be his friend, couldn’t live like this- having to think and feel and second guess himself all the time. And he was less likely to get through to Naruto if he had Sakura backing him up. Hell, he couldn’t even think of Sakura over the last couple days without a teeth clenching stab of regret and embarrassment. What she had reduced him to saying and doing… No, he could not be friends with them, not in the way they wanted.

But Sasuke’s luck failed him so often that he wasn’t actually surprised when he was too late to stop Naruto from reaching his target.

“Sakura?” the blonde croaked in a whisper from a room away.

He held back a sigh of defeat when she answered immediately.

“I’m awake,” she replied, her voice barely perceptible to Sasuke’s ears.

He thought he heard a shifting, the sound of a sleeping bag rustling, but no light came on. He edged closer to the corner of the hall.

“Sakura,” Naruto whispered again, almost as a sigh, “What happened between you and Sasuke?”

Sasuke felt his heart go cold. How? How had Naruto figured it out so quickly? He thought Sakura would have been able to hide it, that they would have been safe for as long as he was gone. Sasuke didn’t care if Naruto thought he was a bad friend, broken and unfit for human contact. But for him to know he had shown that weakness, an attraction for Sakura, especially when she already belonged to Naruto… the shame clawed at his insides. He almost ran away to avoid hearing anymore, to avoid Sakura’s retelling of one of the weakest moments of his life…

There was a long silence where the air itself seemed to be holding its breath.

“I… I’m sorry. Sorry that I didn’t tell you for so long, sorry I ran away… Sorry that I made you worry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. Just tell me what happened,” Naruto said. There was a lifelessness to his whisper that temporarily moved Sasuke out of his own troubles. He certainly didn’t sound like the jealous boyfriend he deserved to be.

“It was a few nights ago. Sasuke caught me outside walking. We talked. It was a nice conversation… I don’t know what came over us, but we kissed. And I couldn’t face you afterwards. It was really sudden, the way it happened, but it was still… still… disloyal. I’ve been in agony over it and I’m sure that’s why Sasuke was acting strangely, too.”

“Why do you feel bad, Sakura-chan?”

There was a sharp pause in Sakura’s shaky breaths, “Because!” she exclaimed in a whisper, “Because I betrayed you! Because I love you and I never ever wanted to hurt you! Because it’s my fault that no one knows we’re together! If Sasuke had known, if I had just made up my mind sooner instead of waiting until everything was perfect-“

“But we’re not together,” Naruto said.

Sasuke’s heart stopped in his chest. He was barely able to cling to the meaning of words.

“What do you mean?” Sakura asked, her voice high.

“You said you needed time to make sure of your feelings. You didn’t make me any promises,” Naruto said. The floor creaked, “I don’t need your pity, Sakura. And I’ll be fine. So just do what makes you happy and we can forget about these last couple months. Ok?”

“I don’t want to forget,” Sakura said. There was a thumping sound- heavy footsteps chasing lighter, almost inaudible ones. “I love you,” she said clearly, and it sounded like she had crossed the room and neared the front door.

“I know,” Naruto said and to Sasuke, the suddenly deep tones of his voice sounded like they belonged to another person. “I love you, too. Really. That’s why I’m letting you go.”

There was a sharp sniffle, the sound of a door opening. Naruto murmured something Sasuke couldn’t hear, and then the door shut. He slunk back into his room and was lying down before he heard the sound of crying in the living room, so soft, that he thought he might have been imagining it.

****

Sakura was gone when he came out of his room the next morning. Sasuke wasn’t surprised. 

It seemed he would be getting what he wanted after all, without the trouble he thought he’d have. Naruto, no matter what he pretended, couldn’t possibly want to be his friend after this. And Sakura, he knew, would be too angry or ashamed to face Sasuke for a very long time. 

Waking up in the empty Uchiha house was like waking up from an uncomfortable dream. He could do as he pleased without worrying about what trouble Naruto was getting himself into or what stupid thoughts were plaguing Sakura’s mind. All the things he didn’t want to think about were gone from his conscious, as gone as the light haired pair who caused them.

He took a long, hot bath in his metal tub, standing on the wooden planks that Sakura thought to add to the bottom of the barrel. 

“Now you won’t get burned if you don’t remember to shift your feet…,” Sakura had said, smiling. She had said it on that day, the day he swore not to think about. It made him wonder, had it really only been a few days since the roof? It felt like a life time ago.

Sasuke watched the streams of steam disappear into the sky. This side of Konoha really was quiet most of the time. By the time he got out of the bath, he felt like he had been reborn.

Sasuke dressed and ventured out to the training fields. Through the woods, in a clearing, he saw some people he recognized from his academy days, people who were also friends with Naruto and would train with him without giving him nervous looks. He watched them for a while, then turned around and walked back into town. He didn’t feel like talking. They didn’t look like they would be worth training with, anyway, he reasoned.

Instead, he stopped by headquarters to pick up his pay check and saw the back of a tall ninja with white hair and for a brief second, thought it was Kakashi. But then the ninja turned and Sasuke looked away from his uncovered blue eyes and unmasked face with an odd sense of disappointment in his gut, which he immediately dismissed as foolish. He had just gotten rid of Naruto and Sakura. Why would he want to invite a conversation with the meddling copy-nin?

He went and shopped for some vegetables to add to his instant ramen, unable to not think about Naruto and how he had filled his cabinets with his strangely and meticulously organized ramen collection. Then he made another trip to the plumber to schedule another consultation, and then went home. The house sighed with restful emptiness. He sat quietly in his bedroom, reorganizing his weapons. When that was done, he paced the house, finding himself walking over to Naruto and Sakura’s sleeping bags, but unwilling to roll them up or move them yet. In the yard, their clothes still hung on the line, but he felt that maybe he shouldn’t touch them. 

When night fell, he ate dinner, but found himself glancing over at the door whenever any sound traveled in from the street. After dinner, he grabbed Naruto’s and Sakura’s things and hurled them into the front room closet where he still felt their presence emanating off of the objects, almost as if they had a life of their own. If they didn’t come and get their stuff soon he resolved to throw it all out.

When he fell into bed that night, he lay awake for some time, considering taking another mission while another part of his brain rationalized that he was just on one and he needed to balance missions with training if he didn’t want to get weak.

Why does it matter if I get weak? he thought.

A hot and cold spell came over him and he was suddenly burning with the need to train, to destroy his body. How dare his brain conjure such a thought! But he stayed in bed, tossing and turning, wracking his mind, sinking into a quiet panic when he finally realized he didn’t have an answer.

 

\----Sakura----

Ino was holding Sakura to her in a bear hug, trying to force away her shaking with the strength of her arms. When Sakura showed up at Ino’s at the reasonable time of 10:00 a.m., she kept her tremoring hands in her pockets. She caught Ino walking out of the front door, fully dressed and polished, on her way to the academy. Ino looked her up and down, then turned back to the house, yelling for Shikamaru. Ino beckoned her to come in and Sakura walked as steadily as she could, her mask already cracking.

Ino wrapped her arm around her as she entered the front door. Shikamaru appeared at the same time, half-dressed and looking disheveled.

“Shika, I need you to go cover my volunteer shift at the academy.”

Shikamaru looked treasonous, but with a glance over at Sakura, just nodded and trudged out of the room.

“What’s going on?” Ino asked, steering her over to the table. Sakura already had tears running down her face.

“He left me,” Sakura said in a tight voice, “I told him what happened and he left me. He thinks I don’t love him, so he left-“ she couldn’t say anymore. Her tears over came her and she wept openly, Ino pulling her into her arms, trying to console her. Between her ragged gasps for air, she occasionally tried to speak, but only got as far as saying, “I ruined it! I ruined it!”

Sakura was feeling lightheaded, the floor seemed to be moving out from under her, but sobs still racked her body. She felt a hand on her head and looked up to find it was Shikamaru’s. Though it seemed that only seconds had passed, he had dressed and his hair was tied and evidently, he was on his way out. His other hand was behind Ino’s neck, just under her pony tail.

“It can’t be as bad as all that. You all love each other. It’ll work out,” he said, his calm, dark eyes staring into her red-rimmed green ones. Then he bent and kissed the top of Ino’s head and retreated with a simple, “Bye.”

Once he had left, Sakura stared at Ino in a haze. Shikamaru had at the very least, broken her out of hysterics. 

“He’s right, you know,” Ino said, “Naruto loves you more than anything… Maybe even more than Sasuke,” she quipped with a smile that did nothing to make Sakura feel better.

“But he thinks I don’t love him… He thinks I’m still in love with Sasuke,” she sniffled as her crying stuttered out.

“I think…” Ino said, looking down and speaking slowly, “That’s because… you are.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Sakura shrieked, wiping her eyes with a furious swipe, “That’s why Naruto left! Are you saying you agree?”

“I don’t agree that he should have left, but I also don’t think you should have hidden what happened from him. He had nothing to do but worry about you for days on end while you were staying here and with your parents. And when he found out… it’s probably all the buildup that made it seem like more than it was.”

“You’re right!” Sakura said, suddenly springing to her knees, “If I go to him and just explain it right, maybe he’ll understand. He has to believe me,” Sakura said, looking down at Ino with watering eyes, “I love him. I do love him! I never wanted to hurt him like this.”

“Hold on, Sakura,” Ino said, placing her hand on her shoulders, “I think we all know you love Naruto, but you still haven’t dealt with the real problem.”

“What… the kiss? With Sasuke-kun? That was a momentary blip and Sasuke is hardly chasing me down, asking me to restore his clan with him.”

“Momentary it might have been, but a blip it was not. Here, sit back down,” Ino said, gently pushing her back to the floor, “I know you’re in denial- wait, no, scratch that,” Ino said at Sakura’s outraged expression. “I know you’ve ‘decided’ to be over Sasuke-kun, but the trouble is, you’re not.”

“I am!” Sakura replied indignantly, “I don’t want to date him, I don’t want him around, I don’t-“

“Sakura,” Ino said, giving her a sharp look.

“I mean, of course I want him around!” Sakura huffed, “He’s part of our team! And yes, I want to make sure he’s alright and taken care of, make sure he knows he’s not alone, make sure he’s happy… but that’s what me and Naruto do! It’s like… our hobby! Or maybe a vocation, or…” Sakura said, looking for a better way to explain the complex feelings both she and Naruto had for the dark haired boy, but failing to find the words.

“I don’t think you or Naruto can be together that way if you’re both still trailing after Sasuke,” Ino said calmly, “Hell, Naruto would probably give you to Sasuke if he thought the guy wanted you, even if it hurt him. You’re both entirely too devoted to him and in your case, it makes you forget that you’re not supposed to be in love with him anymore.” When Sakura tried to protest Ino cut her off immediately. 

“You have never seen the way you watch him,” Ino said with a finality that stopped Sakura’s protests dead.

“Then what are we supposed to do?” Sakura said, “There’s no way we can abandon him. Naruto can’t do it and I… well, I could, maybe. Well, I mean, I suppose I could,” Sakura finally said firmly, but Ino gave her a hard look.

“But you don’t want to,” Ino said.

“Of course not! We love him,” Sakura said quickly, then covered her mouth with her hand. But Ino just nodded.

“I know you do… which means you have two, no, three options.”

Sakura looked up at her, holding her breath.

“One, accept Naruto’s break-up and hope that things go back to normal with the team in enough time… With normal being a state of angst and unrequited feelings, but I mean, whatever floats your boat,” Ino mumbled quietly, but Sakura barely heard her.

Just thinking of accepting Naruto’s break up was one of the most painful ideas she had ever had, but there were two more options. She bit her lip and nodded at Ino to continue.

“Two!” Ino announced, “You and Naruto move on from Sasuke and try to live a normal life. That would be the, uh, most normal route,” Ino said with an apologetic smile.

Have Naruto and I ever been normal? Sakura thought with real concern. Sure, that was probably what was for the best; Sasuke barely ever seemed to show signs of wanting them around, anyway. But it seemed like he was so much a part of her and Naruto; he was in their strength, their spirit, their resolve.

“Cool down girl,” Ino said, noticing the cold sweat that had appeared on Sakura’s pale face, “It’s gonna be alright. Number three… Walk away from this unwinnable situation. You love Sasuke, but you decided to never be with him, both for yourself and for Naruto’s sake. But Naruto probably won’t let his obsession go and would rather you three keep on as best friends, pretending like all three of your hearts aren’t breaking. Sasuke might have shown interest in you, but he’s a wild card. I don’t think he would ever accept you, knowing how much Naruto loved you and knowing that he stole you away, so… be the one to walk away from them both and stop putting yourself through this, for good.”

“I can’t lose them both, Ino. I really can’t. I think I’d die. I can hardly stand thinking about it,” Sakura said.

“You would be alright,” Ino reassured her, “And you don’t have to do that. It’s just one option. I thought it might be the easiest in the long run, that’s why I said it. I should have known you weren’t ready for that. I’m sorry. So, option four.”

Sakura looked up in anxiety. Ino had thought of a fourth option? She had really only been able to think of variations of the previous three herself.

“Become a ménage trois and put an end to all this weirdness already.”

“Damn it, Ino! This is serious!” Sakura said, fresh tears springing to her eyes.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry,” Ino said, patting her arm, “Just trying to make you laugh.”

\----Naruto----

In the end, there was really only one place Naruto could go in the middle of the night.

The floor of Iruka-sensei’s living room was soft tatami. With a blanket underneath him and another blanket on top, he was just as comfortable on his floor as he was on Sasuke’s, but he still couldn’t sleep. When he had first shown up on his doorstep, Iruka asked if he wanted to talk, but Naruto declined. It was still too early, his head and his heart were sorely heavy, but even though he was exhausted and lying down in Iruka-sensei’s comfortable living room, he couldn’t sleep.

But staying awake was unbearable. Sitting still was impossible. He stood in the darkness, putting his shirt back on. 

Iruka-sensei’s house used to be full of stuff -furniture, trinkets, photographs- Now it was as bare as Sasuke’s. He paced the living room, wishing there was something around to distract… Then he saw it, slightly glossy even in the darkness, a photograph sitting on the end table beside the sofa.

Naruto picked it up and saw, with a small gasp, that it was a picture of himself. Looking a bit ragged and wild, but wearing a hiate, he was dramatically grimacing at the camera. Naruto shook his head. Of all the important pictures Iruka-sensei had around his house, this one survived.

“I carried it with me,” came Iruka-sensei’s voice. Naruto turned to find him standing at the other end of the couch. He continued, “When we got our orders to head toward the battle field, to where you were, I carried it in my vest. As a kind of a charm, I guess. Or maybe a reminder.”

“I guess you heard me in here… sorry I woke you,” Naruto said.

“I wasn’t asleep. Want me to make you something? I have some ramen.”

“I’m not really hungry.”

“This is serious,” Iruka said without a hint of humor, then sat down on the couch, “So what is it, Naruto? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this.”

Naruto took a deep breath. The words felt stuck in his chest.

“Last you told me, you and Sakura were staying at Sasuke’s place,” Iruka said gently, “How did you end up here?”

“S… Sakura and I were… together… sort of,” Naruto explained, his voice tight, “But I realized that even though she loved me… I think she still loves Sasuke more… in that way, at least. So I decided to just… get out of the way and hope… hope things would go back to normal.”

Iruka was silent for a long moment. Naruto’s eyes were glued to the sofa cushions.

“Naruto, these past few years, you’ve been a real man about everything. The way you handle yourself in battle, the way you speak to your enemies, and your friends. And now this. You’ve made another hard, selfless decision. I just want you to know that… I’m proud of you. For everything. It’s ok, how you feel. It’s ok.”

“Iruka-sensei,” tears formed large in his eyes and he wiped them away.

“It’s ok,” Iruka said again and the boy who used to only come up to his waist, now wrapped his big arms around his shoulders and buried his head there.

“I love Sakura,” he said plainly, his voice muffled by Iruka’s shirt.

“I know,” Iruka said, patting his back.

“I love Sasuke, too,” he cried, “And they love me back! I know it!”

“I know. It’s not right… love isn’t fair or just… It’s ok to feel betrayed and sad…”

“No… I’m not sad! I’m glad I love them,” Naruto cried, picking his face up off of Iruka’s shoulder and staring at him earnestly, “They’re more than my teammates. They’re everything… I want them to be happy, no matter what.”

Iruka sighed, “That’s why you’re the strongest person I know.”

\----Sasuke----

The sleepless night had left Sasuke waking up far too late, but finally gave him the resolve he needed. He was going down to headquarters to take the most difficult mission he could find, then execute it with extreme precision, as though his life depended on it. It would be training and a mission rolled into one. And hopefully, it would be one that would have him out of the village for a few weeks while he got all of the stupid thoughts out of his head.

But at headquarters, it turned out that wasn’t exactly possible. In fact, it was laughable… at least, the mission officer laughed in his face.

“Fer one, you don’t get to pick and choose yer missions. Yer assigned them accordin’ to yer rank. Fer another, there ent’ any S ranked missions right now. Nor A ranked. Thar’s hardly any B rank. Any of the war criminals that needs cleaning up is being done by Anbu class, see? Now, if yer looking fer action, why don’t ye’s turn in yer name and test for a promotion like everyone else?”

Sasuke stared down at the little man, chaffing at him from behind his desk. Was it possible that he didn’t recognize him? Sasuke turned and left, realizing it was the Hokage he should be talking to if he wanted important missions. But that would most likely lead to him getting grilled about his ‘motivations’ or whatever the hell it was people were worried about with him.

“Oh, if it isn’t Sasuke-kun,” said an all too familiar voice.

He turned around to find Kakashi-sensei staring down at him. He wanted to swear, but more than that, he also didn’t want to give away his feelings. He tried to temper his annoyance behind a blank face. The damned copy ninja always appeared when he wasn’t wanted. However, despite the fact that he had decided he didn’t want to see him, Sasuke thought might be able to use him to pull some high ranked missions.

“Looking for work?” Kakashi continued, his tone neutral, but Sasuke could swear there was mocking in his voice. 

“A challenge,” Sasuke said, his voice calm, “A real mission. I don’t want to get rusty.”

“No, I guess you wouldn’t,” Kakashi said, and this time, he was smiling under his mask. Damn him. He wasn’t going to make this easy on him.

“You’re pulling high ranked assignments,” Sasuke said to him. He tried to keep the hint of accusation out of his voice, but Kakashi seemed to pick up on it anyway.

“Some,” Kakashi replied. How could someone put so much sarcastic meaning in a single word? Kakashi could hardly be accused of joking or teasing too much, but he always did seem to be laughing at you on the inside.

Sasuke really didn’t want to ask. He hated hated hated the idea of asking the copy-nin for a favor, but… the idea of facing another sleepless night in town was looming large in his mind.

“Can you push some my way?” He asked, giving the older man his blankest stare.

“Hm… I think so,” Kakashi said, then began to walk past him, “The Hokage called me here. I’ll see what I can do when I meet with her.”

When the infuriating white-haired man was gone, the man behind the desk spoke to him again, “So yeh know Kakashi, eh? A great man, ent’ he? In line to be Hokage, you know.”

Sasuke prayed that the man was some sort of sleeper agent so that he could kill him at some point in the future. 

He hadn’t made it all the way home before a carrier pigeon found him. He was to pack up and leave tonight. Perfect. The mission didn’t sound particularly challenging; it was nothing more than reconnaissance, really, with the caveat that if he found some rogue-nin, he was to take them out immediately. But it was all well enough until his eyes traveled down to the list of names that were meant to be his back-up. Then his good mood crashed.

The only name listed there was Hatake Kakashi.

Do I ever catch a break? he thought as he continued toward home to pack for a mission he was no longer looking forward to.

****

It was going to be a long trip. 

For one, Kakashi didn’t seem to be in any hurry. It was as if he wanted to give any traitorous ninja hanging around the old Akatsuki compound a chance to escape before they went to investigate. If Naruto was around, he would have definitely complained about Kakashi’s geriatric pace, but with only the two of them, Sasuke only silently seethed, refusing to give Kakashi the satisfaction of knowing he was annoying him.

They stopped early, only a three hours walk away from Konoha, at an inn of all places (he thought it looked like Kakashi had packed too lightly) with only a few words spoken between them for the entire walk. Determined not to spend another night too restless to sleep, Sasuke decided to go burn off his excess energy in the woods behind the inn. He didn’t bother telling Kakashi what he was doing. But that certainly didn’t stop the older man from following him.

“Are you under orders to watch me during this mission?” Sasuke asked irritably as he saw Kakashi take a seat in a tree not far from where he was intending to begin his work out.

“Hm? I was just looking for a quiet place to relax.”

“Then do it somewhere else,” Sasuke said, then steeled himself to ignore the man. He was half-way through his warm up when Kakashi spoke again.

“Nnn, are you actually this bored?”

Sasuke turned to him with a glare would send lesser ninja stumbling in terror. Kakashi met it with a bored stare.

“I could give you something else to do,” Kakashi offered. Sasuke, wondering if he meant he wanted to spar, took a few steps forward in interest, then stopped when Kakashi pulled something shiny from his pocket.”

“You never were able to steal the bell from me. Sakura and Naruto managed it when they were fifteen.”

“I hope you’re not under any illusions that you’re stronger than me now,” Sasuke said, throwing him a contemptuous glace before resuming his warm ups.

“I didn’t say all you had to do was beat me in a sparring session,” Kakashi said, falling from his branch and landing effortlessly on his feet, the bell jingling on it’s string.

Sasuke stood a little straighter and squared his shoulders. He had grown a lot taller since his genin days, but Kakashi still had a way of staring down at him from under his eye patch that was particularly infuriating.

“You know, right now, you look about as hopeless as you ever did,” Kakashi said, blinking slowly as he stared at him, “You’re a real uncute kid. You’ve never taken anything I said to heart.”

“Why should I?” and “What do you know?” were Sasuke’s first, snap answers, but he stopped himself from saying them. It would just prove Kakashi’s point about him being a kid, even though Kakashi could make any grown ninja blow their top with his deadpan appraisals.

“What are you talking about now?” Sasuke asked.

“A ninja who can’t even show gratitude for his teammates is no ninja,” Kakashi said simply, then added, “I saw Naruto coming out of Iruka-sensei’s house this morning. And heard Shikamaru and Chouji talking about giving Sakura a place to stay while they were at the Academy this afternoon. I thought they were staying with you,” he said, his eyebrow arching slightly.

“So you’re stalking all three of us now? Not just me?” Sasuke scowled. He knew there was no way that Kakashi could know what had happened, but… but… Somehow, if it was Kakashi, nothing seemed impossible. He always seemed to know what was in his head, even when he wished he didn’t.

“You’re lucky. Despite your cold exterior and your mental problems, and all of the life or death battles the three of you have seen, you’re all still alive and they still care about you. That’s fate giving you a chance at a different life. You don’t want to know what an empty wasteland life can seem without people to care about. I think I warned you about that before you left the first time.”

“You told me revenge would leave my life empty.”

“Well, I wasn’t quite right. I didn’t count on those two chasing you so stubbornly,” Kakashi said casually, “But you should acknowledge the people that make your life worth living. Otherwise, I’m certain you’ll live an empty, unhappy, meaningless life.”

“You know, I think I preferred it when you were trying to kill me. Are you just going to lecture me every time you see me?”

“I don’t think I need to say anything else,” Kakashi said, winding up the bell on his finger and stowing it back in his pocket, “If you want to beat me, don’t make my mistakes. Then you’ll have earned a bell. Right now, it seems like you’re messing up worse than I ever did.” Kakashi then turned from the woods and walked off, waving. It looked like he was heading back towards the trail… towards the village. Sasuke began to jog after him when he heard him call, “I think you can handle this mission yourself. See you in a few days.”

Sasuke watched him walk back down the shady road, reaching into his pocket for a novel and slumping back toward home. Then he punched a tree so hard that the wood groaned under his hand and the tree swayed toward the ground.

\----Sakura----

Despite how badly she wanted to stay at Ino’s house and hide, Sakura had obligations to meet. She arrived at the hospital around noon, giving the excuse of being sick, which everyone believed immediately. She wasn’t exactly looking her best.

Then, she spent the rest of her work day between excitement and dread, praying that she would see Naruto and also, somehow, desperately hoping she wouldn’t. Right before he left, he said he would see her soon, so at least once every five minutes, she imagined him showing up right there, in the middle of the hospital.

The hospital had been bereft of emergencies and unusual cases since the war, leaving her with mostly administrative and teaching duties, so the utter lack of challenge didn’t help. They let her off at three, the hospital administrator (a lovely older civilian man that watched out for everybody), telling her to head home and get some rest.

But the thought of sitting around Ino’s place, not knowing what to do, knowing that Naruto was off somewhere without her, in pain…

She wanted to go to him, to find him, but there was still no resolution. She could be loyal to Naruto, of course, but what were they going to do about Sasuke? Neither of them wanted to leave him behind, not after they fought for him and were seeming to finally get through to him as a friend…

Her feet ended up taking her to the training grounds, where she continued to walk until she was in the woods. Though she could not see them, she overheard the voices of many young ninja training, calling out to each other, bickering and laughing. It was almost ghost like, being alone with their voices in the shadows of the trees. There were new saplings growing where old ones had fallen in the course of training. Of course, the trees were the first thing that were restored in Konoha after the attack.

She was a little startled, but pleasantly surprised when she found Lee and Tenten stretching by the training posts when she came out of the other side of the forest. Lee looked over, his eyes full of light. It wasn’t for her, Sakura knew, at least not anymore. He was just a happy person. Even with everything that had happened, his spark was far from extinguished. It was almost enough to make her feel self-conscious about her obvious wallowing.

Tenten, too, was looking well. Pink in the face and retying her hair as she sat cross legged beside Lee. She smiled openly at Sakura.

“Coming to train?” Tenten asked, “You’ve caught us at the end of our session.”

“No, no. Just walking, really,” Sakura said. Lee’s gaze turned more solemn.

“You’ve been skipping training, Sakura-chan.”

“Well, there’s been work and stuff. And I was away on a mission…”

“A diplomatic mission,” he huffed, but Sakura found it more amusing that he seemed to keep up with her training regimen enough to be upset over it.

“Do I really look that much weaker to you?” Sakura asked, doing a little spin with her hands on her hips.

Lee narrowed his round eyes until they were just glaring half-moons. After studying her, he simply replied, “You know we have a training group, right?”

“Uh, sort of. Ino told me that Chouji forces her and Shika to come when they’re off at the right times.”

Lee sprung to his feet, “He’s a good teammate. I don’t know what Naruto and Sasuke are doing, but…” Lee shook his head, “Come on. I’ll lead you in a quick work out.”

“What?” Sakura squawked, “I… I’m not really feeling up to it today… And I’m not dressed.”

“Sakura,” he said seriously, “When you’re feeling weak and tired, training is even more important!” he declared. It might have just been Sakura’s imagination, but there was a little more manic fire in Lee’s eyes than usual. Maybe he wasn’t lit up anymore so much as burning.

I guess no one could be the same after a battle like that, Sakura thought. But the green clad boy was staring laser beams of energy at her and his bandaged, sweaty hand now clasped her shoulder. Sakura looked at Tenten in askance, but got nothing but a shrug and a smile.

“No, no. I promise soon though, ok?” Sakura said, trying to retreat.

“I’ll be here tomorrow morning at seven! You could do at least an hour before your shift, right? Or you can come to the academy and do taijutsu drills with the kids. With some modifications,” he added as she glared at him.

“I was about to say…” she said with a small laugh. After a little more small talk, she left them to their stretching. 

It was hard to find a place to be alone in Konoha, she mused, coming out of the other side of the dark forest. Maybe Sasuke was on to something with his missions. Another sigh welled out of her. She wondered if she should have stayed behind to talk to Sasuke. She and Naruto had both taken off with no explanation given… but she was sure he had to have figured out what happened. And it seemed he and Naruto had had a talk about it… she had definitely walked in on something when she came home from work last night.

She walked until the sun began to set and the air turned cooler. She felt a chill on her bare arms, but was reluctant to go inside anywhere. She sat down on a bench by what used to be her favorite tea shop, but was now just a vacant building and watched the lights come on across the village. Thoughts about Sasuke, urges to run across town until she found Naruto and ideas about just packing up and moving to the countryside with her parents floating through her mind without censure. Then all of the sudden, blonde hair pointing straight up glinted in a street light. It took her several moments to realize it was not Naruto, but a young boy, possibly emulating Naruto’s trademark blonde spikes. Sakura clutched her fist to her chest and took a deep breath.

Then her name was called.

“Sakura-chan,” came from in the pedestrian traffic until a pale face revealed itself to her.

“What’s wrong, Sakura-chan?” Sai asked, approaching her from the opposite side of the road.

“Oh, nothing really,” she said, waving him closer toward her.

He sat down beside her, but did not stare into the street like she did, and instead turned his full body to look at her. She actually found herself laughing under the intense scrutiny before she asked, “Is there something on my face, Sai?”

“Your face looks strange,” he said.

“Does it?” she asked, too tired to be offended. The sting of hearing Sai calling her Sakura-chan, knowing he had modeled it after Naruto, was beginning to set in as well and she had another painful urge to go find the boy, even though she wasn’t sure what she would say yet.

He already left me once when I didn’t know how to answer. I have to know what I’m doing, she reminded herself.

She glanced over to see Sai, still studying her like a bug under a magnifying glass. “You look like you’re having a lot of… feelings,” he finally said.

“Oh Sai,” she sighed and shook her head, “I’m feeling them all.” 

“Really?” Sai seemed interested, but she wasn’t sure if he was exactly the person she needed to be talking to about this, or if even talking about it again would make her cry. Not something she wanted to do in public.

“Yeah. So what are you doing over here?” she asked.

“Delivering a message, but… Sakura-chan, was that a deflection? Are you purposefully trying to change the subject from its given path?”

She found herself smiling again, despite herself, “Yes. Good catch. Have you been studying?”

She found his smile to look authentic, even a little shy, as he replied, “Yes. I’ve been reading a lot between missions. But did you just deflect again?”

“No, I was legitimately curious,” Sakura said, “Sorry Sai, but I can’t talk about it in such a public place.”

“Come to my place,” he said immediately, “There are a few new paintings I want you to see, anyway.”

“Oh, um…”

“Does my offer make you uncomfortable in some way?” he asked, genuinely curious again. Sai was the opposite of a child, Sakura knew enough about his handiwork to know that. But the effort he was making... it was hard not to throw him a bone.

“It’s not that… it’s just… I’m not sure I can talk about my problems that easily…” Plus, I don’t want them announced to whoever I’m with next time I meet you.

“Is it that we aren’t close enough?” Sai asked. Sakura wasn’t sure, she might have been imagining it because of his question, but she thought he seemed slightly… disappointed?

Well, if he’s gonna learn, I gotta be honest, “It’s not that. It’s just that it’s a secret and you sort of just blurt things out.”

At this, Sai looked outright smug, “Sakura, I was in a special secret group of assassins since before I can remember. I can keep a secret.”

“T-that’s true but... All the name calling and blunt… question asking… you lack a certain amount of tact…” Sakura was losing the battle and beginning to feel it. Likewise, Sai was becoming surer of himself.

“Tactless isn’t the same as not keeping a secret. It was never any secret that Naruto was dickless, was it?”

Sakura laughed hard at that, “You say it like it’s a fact! That is definitely not a secret.”

“So? Will you come?” Said asked, his slightly smiling face looking nearly angelic at his semantic victory.

Well, it didn’t seem like she had much of a choice.

****

“Look at this one, Sakura,” Sai said. He had invited her inside his apartment and began to go through all of the correct motions of polite guest keeping. He sat her down, put on a pot of tea, laid a plate of jelly snacks in front of her, and then busied himself in the corner where a large cart held an assortment of canvases. 

“Have I ever told you how much I like your apartment, Sai?” Sakura said, staring around the room at the paintings on the walls. The minimal furniture that all Konoha residents were working with at the moment actually suited Sai’s home, the Spartan decorations giving it almost the feel of a museum after closing hours.

“You have. Now, come look at this,” he replied, pulling a piece of paper from the cart, grabbing the top and bottom edge and straightening it out. It was as tall and wide as his head and torso. He had just clamped it to an empty easel when he held up an arm to Sakura, urging her to take a step back. 

It was a head and shoulders portrait of herself. It was inked in amazing precision and detail and she was sure she had never seen a photo of herself that made her look so beautiful.

“Oh my God… is this really how you see me?” she asked, staring at it agog.

“Sometimes,” he said, a light smile on his face, “It’s still just a little portrait study. It started with sketches, but then I found myself wanting to draw something larger and then I liked it so much, I inked it. I thought about doing it in color, but I think it’s nice like this.”

“It’s amazing,” she said.

“Thank you,” he said, “I would give it to you, but right now, I like it. I think I’m going to put it up over there,” he said, pointing to the far side of the room.

Sakura felt a little embarrassed at the thought, but she couldn’t deny it was a pretty picture. In the end, she just smiled, “Well, when you’re ready to retire it, you know who you can give it to. But… gosh, Sai. I wish I could draw.”

“I could teach you. It’s not so hard, and it’s fun.”

“Do you think I could learn? I mean, I’m practically an old woman now, aren’t I? My hands might be too stupid.”

“Hands don’t have minds of their own,” he said seriously, “And I don’t think you’re stupid… even if you look that way some times.”

“Hmph. You look stupid sometimes,” she said, turning away from the picture.

“Really?” he asked again and she was beginning to wonder if he was doing it on purpose, using his social naiveté to dodge insults. In other words, playing dumb.

When Sakura didn’t answer, he said, “I have some other’s you might like.” And well, Sakura couldn’t help but be curious. 

As the sun set until the windows went completely dark, reflecting the room, they looked through his sketches of people she knew. There were a few others, as well, some civilians, some animals. One really large landscape that left her in awe.

“How do you have time to paint something like this?” she asked.

“There’s a distinct lack of missions as the moment and my skills don’t lend me much toward anything other than killing. I’m not exactly fit to take a team of genin or be diplomatic or help rebuild.”

“Who cares about all that when you can do something like this?” Sakura asked, and didn’t miss the real flash of surprised pleasure on his face.

She was leafing through a separate stack of prints when she saw another familiar face, “Ino!” she gasped in surprise, then horror. “Sai!” she shrieked.

“Hm? What is it?”

“This is- this… What the hell is this?”” Sakura screeched, turning the page around for Sai to see.

Sai blinked and looked nonplussed, “You were correct. It’s Ino.”

“She’s… you painted her naked! And that pose!”

“It’s interesting, isn’t it? I’ve never seen her naked, so some things I had to guess on, but I think it’s probably fairly accurate, based on her-“

“NO! Ew! That’s not why I’m yelling at you right now! Why are you painting my friend naked?! And so… so… realistically!” was the word she opted for. The only other word that came to her head was pornily, and she was pretty sure that wasn’t a word at all.

“Why not? I paint nudes. You saw-“

“I didn’t know them! This is Ino!” she exclaimed again, “Not only that, but the size! Hers is bigger than mine!”

“Well, naturally. I’m trying to be accurate and hers are bigger than yours-“

“NOT HER… YOU IDIOT! THE CANVAS!”

“Oh, well,” Sai shrugged, “It’s the same case as the portrait of you. I was just doing some sketches, but then I wanted to do something bigger, so I just drew it. But it’s not just Ino. I do have other nudes. Lots of them. I just keep them in a different area. Here,” Sai said, standing up.

“No, no no. I think I’m done with pictures for tonight, Sai.” God knows who else I might see naked. 

“Alright. Then you can tell me about your feelings then,” he said, walking over to the couch instead.

Sakura didn’t get up right away, not even to get some distance between herself and the Ino picture she had flipped over. 

“You don’t have to be ill at ease, Sakura-chan,” Sai said, “I’m good at keeping secrets.”

Sakura shifted uneasily, but in the end, shrugged and crawled over to the couch while Sai poured more tea into her glass.

Sakura sat there a long moment, not quite sure where to begin. It was weird trying to explain what was happening to someone who didn’t know the whole story already… Although technically, she supposed he knew some things…

“Well, it’s about me and Naruto… but first, how much do you know about me and Naruto and Sasuke?”

“Hm… I know that you both fought to bring him back here… and that you both seem to be in love with him. Is that it? Are you and Naruto fighting over him?”

Sakura buried her face in her hands, “No, Sai…. Just, no… See, it’s like this…”

She told him everything she could think of from the beginning to end. How it was when he first returned, her and Naruto’s undefined relationship, how the mission went, team seven’s brief cohabitation, the mood swings… When she was sure she had left nothing out, she looked up at Sai.

“That’s it,” she concluded.

He nodded, “That is a lot going on.”

She nodded in agreement.

He sipped his tea.

After a full minute went by, Sakura felt the need to prompt him. “Well?” she asked.

“Hm?”

“Well, what do you think I should do?” she asked.

“Me?” he said, his polite, cold smile sliding into place.

“Well, yeah! When someone tells you their problems like that, they usually expect advice or sympathy in return!”

“Oh really? That’s interesting,” he said. It was only Sakura’s glare that prompted him into speaking again, “Well, I already that it’s a lot. And I told you what I think.”

“What? No you didn’t…” Sakura said.

“That you and Naruto are both in love with Sasuke and fighting over him,” Sai said placidly.

“We’re not fighting over him, Sai. We’re fighting about him. There’s a serious difference there.”

“You both love him though, correct?”

“Yeah, but it’s not that kind of love. Like, I love Ino, but I’m not in love with her.”

Sai shrugged, “If you kissed him, it sounds like ‘that kind of love’. Have you ever asked Naruto if it was that kind of love? He was pretty obsessed with him.”

“N… no. That would be ridiculous. Naruto likes girls. He’s been in love with me since forever,” Sakura said.

“It seems more like he’s been chasing Sasuke forever…” Sai said thoughtfully.

“You don’t know,” Sakura said peevishly, “You weren’t here.”

Sai shrugged, “Maybe you should ask Naruto what he wants to do about Sasuke.”

“No. What I need to do is stop wasting time, go to Naruto, and apologize for the stupidity with Sasuke. Then see if we can make it official and just deal with the fall out.”

Sai stared levelly at her, “That sounds fine. But… why are you trying so hard to deny that both of you love Sasuke?”

“Because we can’t have a good relationship if we don’t!” Sakura shouted, “I mean, I think I’ll get over Sasuke. I really do. But what I know for certain is that I want Naruto. And that’s not going to change.”

“Why do you have to get over Sasuke?”

“Because me and Naruto won’t be a normal couple until I do!”

“And what if Naruto doesn’t get over Sasuke?”

“What are you… you and your theory! Naruto’s not in love with him, ok? I’m the one with the stupid problems.”

“I guess you figured out what to do then?” Sai said. Sakura nodded.

“The only thing I’m afraid of is if… Naruto presses me about my feelings about Sasuke and then refuses to believe that I love him, just because of my minor, emotional blip. Ok, it wasn’t a blip,” Sakura admitted when Sai looked politely confused, “But, I mean, what if Naruto doesn’t believe me?”

“Has he ever doubted you in the past?” Sai asked.

“Yes…” she said. 

“Were you lying?”

“Yes…” she admitted, anguished.

“But now you’re telling the truth?” Sai pressed.

“Of course. I know for certain, 100%, that I want Naruto. No matter what happens. Even if Sasuke got down on one knee and proposed to me and promised me a life of wild romance. There’s no way I would ever leave Naruto for him. Ever.”

“Well then, you should be safe to tell him. Right?”

“I don’t know,” Sakura said, “Because he might think it’s just loyalty. That I’m not as passionate about him as I was about Sasuke…”

“Tell him it’s not. Show him you are. Sakura-chan,” Sai said in a serious tone that caught her attention. He then stood and walked over to one of his drawers. When he turned around, there was a book open in his hands, “I’ve read some passages that I think would be extremely helpful in that regard. The evil ninja overload, Hiranaga, has a really lovely moment with his only loyal consort, the concubine Hinako. It says-“

“No!” Sakura said, covering her ears, “We’ve been through this. No reading smut to me, Sai! It makes me, and for future reference, most other human beings, uncomfortable!”

Sai closed his book, a slight frown on his face, “You seem to have some hang-ups about physical intimacy, Sakura-chan.”

“I do not!”

“If nude drawings and literature make you uncomfortable-“

“When they’re of my friends! And when you’re the one reading the literature aloud from a pornographic novel!”

“Have you ever had sex with someone?” Sai asked, perfectly straight faced.

“Ok, I’m going home.”

“I’ll walk you,” Sai offered magnanimously, “And on the way, I can give you some tips about se-“

“EhhhHH!!!” Sakura shouted, trying to drown him out, making a dash for the door. But Sai was right behind her.

****

Sai had managed to walk (well, half walk, half dash after Sakura if he began to mention something embarrassing) all the way back to Ino’s house. It was only when she reached the door that she realized that this might be an uncomfortable situation. Last she knew, Sai was still interested in Ino and maybe didn’t realize she was taken. The thought made her clench her teeth in nervous apprehension. Despite what a pain he was being, Sakura really didn’t want to see the few emotions that Sai had getting hurt.

“I’ve taken up a lot of your time today,” Sakura said, turning to Sai as she waited for the door to be answered, praying it would be Chouji who answered it, “Don’t feel like you have to wait here with me.”

“It is polite to see a lady inside to safety,” Sai said, “It was in the third chapter of The Gentleman’s Guide to Courtliness.”

“Well, I’m a ninja, not a lady,” Sakura pressed, wondering where the hell he found such old fashioned books when the library in Konoha had been blown up with the rest of town.

“Kunoichi are still ladies,” Sai said with a pleasant façade of a smile on his face. If Sakura didn’t know any better, she’d say he was actually hanging around in hopes of seeing Ino.

And his luck was in as the door opened with an energetic whoosh that revealed a swinging blonde ponytail and blue eyes.

“Sakura!” Ino exclaimed, “Where have you been? I went by the hospital and they’d all said you left early! Oh, hi,” Ino said, her voice dropping a few octaves as she registered Sai standing slightly behind Sakura.

“Nice to see you, Ino. I’m afraid I’m the one who kept her out so late. Sorry to worry you all this time,” he said in a heretofore unseen showcase of manners and regular human graces.

“No, no, it’s fine! I’m glad she was with you,” Ino said, a sweet smile playing around her lips. Sakura held her breath. Ino was such a natural flirt. It was pretty much just an ingrained part of her nature at this point. I mean, she was already beautiful, so it didn’t take much effort to mesmerize most guys. Regardless, Sakura didn’t want her encouraging Sai any further. One gigantic nude picture was enough.

Sakura turned to Sai and clasped his shoulder with a forced enthusiasm that would have done Gai-sensei proud, “Thanks a lot for walking me back, Sai! I’ll see you in a few days, ok?” Then she backed into the house, waving goodbye with both hands. Unfortunately, she backed right into Ino, who was like a brick wall. A brickwall who gave her a subtle jab in the spine.

“We’re having dinner right now. Chouji made a proper meal and everything. Would you like to come in a join us?” Ino, offered pointedly, nudging past Sakura to stand in the doorway. Sakura prayed to the Goddess of Ninjutsu that he would decline, but the Goddess obviously remembered their last encounter because Sai smiled (and it was so real that it stabbed Sakura directly in the heart), then accepted.

****

Dinner was not as painful as Sakura had feared. Chouji had made a monstrous amount of stew and the dining room table was set for a feast. According to him, it was to help Sakura restore her strength. However, she wasn’t hungry, which lumped her in with Shikamaru, which meant she was harassed for most of the meal. But even if she had an appetite, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to eat anyway- she didn’t think she could ever look away from the spectacle that was Ino and Sai.

Ino was truly in top form. She tossed her hair when she laughed, her eyes sparkled, her cheeks were pink and dewy. You’d swear she was some kind of succubus who fed off of flirting. It had been so long since Sakura had seen her that way, or even seen her around anyone but Academy brats and her team, that she had almost forgotten how vivacious Ino used to be.

And Sai, well, if Sakura’s heart wasn’t already broken, it would be breaking for him. He was so happy. Even a stranger would have been able to tell he was being genuine. And the small talk… it was all normal! Casual! Even funny, at times! Sakura had always thought Sai was too literal to be funny on purpose! Sakura wasn’t sure if Sai was firing on all cylinders just to impress the blonde or if talking to Ino somehow granted him the power to be normal, but knowing it could never work out for him made Sakura squirm in her seat.

Every now and then she’d throw a glance to Shikamaru, but he mostly just poked reluctantly at his food, complained to Chouji and sighed. Sakura wasn’t sure if he was oblivious or simply didn’t care that Ino was sparkling at another dude. I mean, he knew her even better than Sakura, so he probably knew that her flirtation was nothing, but… could a relationship really be like that? Totally without jealousy?

Eventually Sai left and Ino and Sakura hung out for a while in her bedroom, but soon it was time for bed. The lights went out and the windows were dark and the only sound in the whole house was the methodical ticking of a small clock that Ino had returned home with after a mission. The clock was in the living room- her door was shut and she was sure the walls were reasonably thick- but still, Sakura could hear the clock slowly ticking. And after a few sleepless hours, slowly draining the life out of her.

Sakura had been nervous before. She was a ninja; she felt a nervous thrill before every battle, even the small ones. And she had faced powerful enemies, opponents that made her fear for her life. But she had never felt like this.

Her whole body shook. The muscles in her legs felt so tight that she felt she had to move them constantly. When she rose to get some water to break the monotony of lying down, she found that she was dizzy when she stood up. When she tried to read, the words swam away from her, her mind unable to focus on them and her fuzzy head barely able to take in their meaning in the first place. After a few hours, her hands started to tingle off and on and she found it difficult to breathe.

She had enough concentration to check herself over with chakra and found nothing wrong. What is this? PTSD? Anxiety? She thought as she stared miserably up at the ceiling with no rest in sight. She eventually passed out as the sun rose through her window. When she rose again after only a few hours, she vowed to herself that she would never spend another night like that and knew what she had to do.

\----Naruto----

Naruto laid on Iruka’s couch, much as he had the day before. He didn’t intend on leaving any time soon. He had tried to go and teach at the Academy, continue his schedule like nothing had happened, but he just couldn’t be himself. Every time he was outside, he was looking for his team and every time he looked into someone’s eyes, even the kids, he felt like they could see right through to his pain. Sensei had forced him to go pick up dinner for the two of them after he had bailed on teaching to hide out on his sofa and he had ended up running into a few friends. He smiled his way through the conversation for as long as he could, but eventually, he had had to make something up and run away.

He had never felt like this before, not wanting to see other people. And despite his speech to Iruka-sensei on the night of his arrival, Naruto couldn’t see the upside to his situation. So he mostly just slept and ate under the ever watchful eye of Iruka-sensei, and even that was tiring for him. Today he had slept from the moment Iruka-sensei went to work, to the moment he returned, eight hours later. Now the sun was setting again and soon Iruka-sensei would probably come around and force him to move around a bit, maybe even try to face the world outside of the living room.

He had been lying on the couch, staring up at the ceiling and contemplating that horrible idea when he saw a flash of pink from the corner of his eye. The windows on the opposite side of the living room were open, but no one could be seen on the street. His heart had barely returned to normal when there was a knock at the door.

He sat staring at the door, his mouth open. Was it really her? Was she looking for him? What if she wanted him back?

You can’t take her back. You can’t trap her to you out of pity.

Iruka-sensei appeared in the hall and glanced over at him, “Did I hear the door?”

“Oh, yeah,” Naruto said, scrambling over to it on slightly tingly legs, not sure what he was hoping for. Then he opened the door and saw her.

Her face was white, ghost white. Her eyes were rimmed red and it looked she hadn’t slept in days and Naruto was sudden conscious that he had done nothing but- without even getting up to shower. 

As she studied him, he saw her sink into her shoulders. She took a deep breath. His eyes lingered on her mouth until she suddenly stiffened her spine and shouted, “Naruto!”

He jumped, “Y-yes? Sakura-cha-“

“I love you!” she said, her voice reverberating around the empty street. She seemed to swell as she said it.

“I love you!” she repeated, “I want to be with you. I won’t slow down and I won’t think and I’m not taking no for an answer!”

Even as his heart felt like it had skyrocketed out of his chest, his head was still clear, sharpened from pain.

“Um, that doesn’t really sound like you, Sakura-chan. I don’t want you to jump in blind or because-“

“Well I do! I want to jump in! And I don’t have to think because this is something I’ve known for a long time. Do you want to know what I know?” she asked with suddenly fierceness that left Naruto only able to nod in return. “I need to see you. If I don’t, the day doesn’t feel complete. I need to know that you’re happy and when I suspect that you’re not, all I can think about it how to fix it. Your smile makes me feel warm, especially when it’s directed at me. Your determination makes me feel safe and calm. Your strength makes me want to be stronger. Knowing you has made me a better person. I don’t ever want to be away from you. I love you. More than anyone else. Forever.”

Naruto felt like he couldn’t breathe and he wasn’t sure if it was from joy or pain or a legitimate medical issue. She seemed sincere. But she couldn’t be. He willed his body not to do anything. Not to freeze and not to heat up and go crazy. Just stay still and try to talk.

“I…” he began. It was barely a word, more of a cough. He tried again, “I feel those things too… Sakura… but… there are two, two kinds of love-“

“Come with me. Right now. No one’s home at Ino’s place. I’ll show you exactly what kind of love-“

Naruto heard Iruka-sensei shift slightly in place. Judging by Sakura’s suddenly red face, he had just seen his movement through the door crack.

“Ah… is… is Iruka-sensei…” she said quietly.

But Iruka was already walking up behind him, waving apologetically over Naruto’s shoulder.

“Hi Sakura. I was just coming to answer the door… I didn’t want to interrupt you or anything, but I thought I’d give you both some privacy…”

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

“Let’s take a walk,” Naruto suggested mechanically. His heart was beating so fast. His knew his face was as red as Sakura’s. Part of him wanted to go inside and beg Iruka-sensei for advice, ask him if he thought she was serious. But didn’t know if he had the strength to push her away again when she said she loved him…

Sakura fell into step beside him, also unwilling to look back at Iruka’s house. Outside of the neighborhood, the streets were busy with comings and going, people getting dinner, people returning from mission trudging to headquarters, academy kids playing in the street. The sound of shuffling feet and children playing and food wafting out from homes and the open doors of restaurants were all things that felt like Konoha and normally would have calmed his mind, but now he barely noticed them. It all felt a little surreal. Every so often someone would shout Naruto’s name and he’d wave at them without breaking stride. He took quick glances at Sakura and she seemed to be regaining her steam. She wasn’t flushed and she was looking straight ahead. Without warning, she took Naruto’s hand in hers and suddenly pulled him to the right, down a back street.

“Let’s go out of the gate for a minute,” she said, pulling him behind her as she picked up her pace. Her hand was a little cold. Naruto held firmly to it.

Soon they were in the darkening woods just off the beaten path. It was quiet there, hidden from sight. There was still the light din emanating into the forest from town, reminding them that civilization was still close. But the trees blocked out what little light was left of the day and they felt shaded in a small green world of their own.

“Do you believe me, Naruto?” Sakura finally asked. They were facing each other again. Sakura had let go of his hand and was searching his face. He had to look away.

“I want to believe you. I want to believe you more than…” he took a breath.

“Then just do. I promise I’ll never make you do anything to regret it.”

“I know I wouldn’t regret it,” he quipped quickly, “It’s you I’m worried about. I don’t want you to force yourself into this because you don’t want to disappoint me or because you think it’s something you should do…”

“I’m not!” she pleaded, “I swear I’m not! Look, our feelings for Sasuke are complicated. We’re both a bit weird when it comes to him. But he’s not the one I want. You’ve got to trust me,” she said, taking his hands in hers again, “Trust me to know myself and what I want. I’ll never hurt you again, I promise. I just want to be with you.”

As she spoke, she grew closer and closer. Naruto had finally surpassed her in height; if he leaned down just a little, his forehead could have rested against hers.

When he breathed in, he could smell her. Her hair, her body. He took a deep breath. He was still nervous; there was a tingling in his stomach and throat. But it felt like his body was slowly unclenching every muscle that had been tightened for the last few days.

“I love you,” he said, his voice barely over a whisper. 

Her eyes filled with tears, “I love you too,” she said, matching his tone.

He wasn’t sure who moved first, but he didn’t care. They were kissing. Her lips were soft and a little wet, but she was kissing him hard. He snaked a hand behind her head, his fingers cradling the back of her skull, tangled in her hair. Her arms were around his neck, pulling herself closer to him, pressing her chest against his, their legs twining together. His other arm pulled her even closer, his hand splayed between her shoulder blades. Everything he had been feeling had replaced, not with joy, but with need. A need to hold her and keep her and never let her go. To be with her as close as two people could be.

There was an urgency and a painful side to it, the pain only kept away by the force of her mouth, her lips parting slightly to his invading tongue. 

She moaned, a short, almost surprised sound and a feeling in his chest relaxed into it. He lowered them to their knees and hooked one of her thighs over his. She gasped, another hypnotizing sound, and he released her lips to explore the sides of her neck and jawline with his lips, occasionally scraping his sharp tooth over her skin. With a steady rhythm, he rocked her against his leg, the top of her thigh occasionally brushing against his member for a few seconds which sent shocks of pleasure that were so strong they were almost painful.

As his hands slid up her legs to cup her buttocks and pull her against him more firmly, he briefly regained his senses, wondering what her boundaries were. To him, what they were already doing was more sexual than grabbing a butt, but girls were weird about their bodies…

However Sakura didn’t even seem to notice other than pulling even closer to him, breathing unevenly into his ear in a way that sent shivers through his entire body. She pushed him even further when she pulled her other leg around, straddling him, rocking against him through his pants. He groaned and leaned her back to the ground, keeping a hold on her waist, locking it to his, grinding her to with just the right amount of pressure, at just the right angle…

Her back was arched as he pressed against her, her head touching the ground and the zipper of her vest shining tantalizingly before his eyes. He grabbed it with his teeth and pulled it down. Sakura’s eyes fluttered open and met his. Seeing that she didn’t object, he unzipped it the rest of the way and it fell open, revealing only her short fishnet undershirt. With her eyes on him, he nipped the skin of her stomach, nosing her garment out of the way as he made his way up her abdomen.

“Hey!” called a voice that seemed to only be a few feet away from them. They both jerked upright, but there was no time to untangle her legs from around his waist or even zip up her vest before the voice was upon them.

“What are you kids do…ing… ah…” It was a jounin academy teacher with a flashlight in hand, but thankfully not turned on. He looked a little sheepish as he instantly recognized the pair and put the flashlight back in one of the pockets of his vest.

“Naruto-kun. Sakura-san. Sorry about this,” he said staring pointedly out into space. Sakura quickly resumed zipping her vest over her shirt and bra as Naruto gently detached their legs from one another, allowing her to sit up on her own. “My neighbor grabbed me on my way home and said they thought they heard some kids, uh… getting into trouble just outside the gate.”

Of course, Sakura had been making some sounds and Naruto wasn’t even sure what noises he might have been making, but had they really been that loud? His face reddened at the thought. 

“W-we’re so sorry. We were just talking and… things…” Sakura tried, but quickly gave up as she realized no explanation would really help. Naruto held in a laugh and bit his lip to stop his grin. She was really really cute when she was embarrassed.

“Well, I’ll leave you guys to it. Um… yeah,” the jounin said and tramped back through the woods.

When he was out of hearing range, Sakura buried her face in her hands. “No…” she moaned in quite a different way than she had been a few minutes before. “What if this gets around? What if Iruka-sensei hears about it?!” she suddenly gasped, “He heard what I said about going to Ino’s! Now he’ll think we just went to the woods instead and… arg…!”

“It’s ok. I think he’d understand,” Naruto said, giving her a peck on the lips. She stared up at him and, even threw her miserable expression, she smiled.

“Maybe we can bribe the guy? Or threaten him?” Sakura said hopefully.

“I’m sure he’d be easy to hunt down, but…” Naruto smiled and it was wide, almost grinning, “Where exactly is Ino and her team anyway?” he asked with an almost casual air.

“Shikamaru got an assignment this morning and Ino and Chouji both said they’d go with him. They’re still feeling a little protective…” Sakura began, but then trailed off as she read the expression on Naruto’s face. But she couldn’t help but smile. “Baaaka,” she said.

He stood and pulled her to her feet, then pulled her into a kiss, his hands resting lightly on her neck. However, that kiss quickly deepened, leaving them both breathing heavily when he finally broke away.

“We’re going to get in trouble again,” he snickered, leaning against a tree and taking a deep breath.

“How about I race you to Ino’s? If you can steal a kiss before we get there, you win,” Sakura said.

“What will I win?” Naruto asked, definitely grinning now.

“A lesson in teamwork,” Sakura said with a grin of her own and, with that, took off with a dash that left Naruto a little stunned. But he shot after her not a second later, running at full speed. A ninja without teamwork was garbage, after all.

\----Sasuke----

Sasuke had completed his mission two days faster than the estimated time-frame. It was easy when he decided to run the entire way to the compound after Kakashi had left. It was even easier when he arrived to find the compound completely empty, looking like it had been abandoned for weeks.

Even more interestingly, there were signs that Konoha nin had already scoped the place out.

He was going to kill Kakashi.

That was that thought that motivated him as he then turned back and sprinted home, only stopping for one night of sleep where, after his day and night of running, he had fallen dead asleep. The promise of more sleepless nights ahead was the only thing that motivated him to keep sprinting until he reached Konoha.

It was nearly dark when he reached the north gate. There were families walking up and down the street, sitting behind windows in warm, cheery scenes that he refused to look at, but were all around him. There were a few ninja on the street and their eyes followed him warily as he walked toward HQ. It seemed there was no where he could peacefully rest his eyes, but he refused to look down. Holding to the straps on his pack, he soldiered onward.

After the mission had been turned in (thankfully, it was another ninja, a woman, sitting behind the desk), he walked outside and paused. He didn’t feel like going in to any shops or restaurants, but he was hungry. It was truly a dilemma. That’s when he saw it.

In the last light of the day, where the sun exploded over the tops of the buildings in one final burst before it disappeared over the horizon, two figures could be seen dashing over the roof tops. He heard a familiar bark of a laugh and a girlish shriek. Impressions of pink and yellow hair both turned gold by the sun flashed by as one chased the other.

Sasuke followed their progress across the horizon until finally, one managed to grab a hold of the other. Their bodies met in an almost surprised collision. There was a distant girlish squeal, but the sound was cut off by the other, swiftly leaning in until their faces met. 

The kiss was brief, interrupted by their own laughter. But when their laughter was done, the pursuer picked up the pursued and carried them away, jumping down to the street below and out of Sasuke’s sight.

He stood there until nightfall, which was when the ninja receptionist at HQ peeked her head out of the door and asked if he was alright. He didn’t answer, but walked home. 

 

 

A/N: Phew, this was a long one. Even checking over it took forever. The next one is already written and I’ll post it this Friday! I know these take me some time to crank out and this is a MEGA cliff hanger (eeheehee), but I promise the next one is coming Fri-hi-day-bey.  
On a related note, this baby is officially novel length! Given it would be a short novel but by NaNoWriMo standards, novel length none the less!  
But anyway, FINALLY! A resolution is in sight for me! So close! (Although to be fair, I’ve thought that before. And originally I thought this would be resolved in like, three chapters.) You know, it’s funny. I pretty much never have a plan for anything when I write, but this story has a clear goal: Get these characters to mushy happy fluff land. And yet, despite this goal shining in the distance, egging me forward, IT NEVER SEEMS TO GET ANY CLOSER! Perhaps it is something that cannot be seen with the eyes. I must feel my way towards it with my… _______ (feel free to fill in the blank, ya pervs! Heh heh heh!) But now, yes… I am getting closer. My _______-sense is tingling!

See you on Fries, my guys! (Jesus, I’m a dork.)


	11. Chapter 11

“I love you,” he said as he kissed her. He had been saying it since they had stumbled through Ino’s front door. As soon as the door was closed behind them, he lifted her up, scooping his arms under her legs, and pressed her against the wall. Between kisses he whispered words into her mouth that she could barely hear.

She clung to him. It was all she could really do. She was weak with pleasure and every sigh against her neck and scrape of teeth against her lips sent a tremor through her body and all she could do was writhe in his grasp.

He seemed barely more lucid than she, although his strength hadn’t seemed to fail him yet. Instead of trembling, he gripped her tighter, pressed harder, pushed closer. She could see the flush on his face even in the rapidly falling darkness and the sweat on his skin mingled with her own.

When her hands began to tingle and she actually felt the room begin to spin, she turned her head to try to catch her breath.

“It’s too much,” She panted as he buried his face in her hair, “I have to... breathe for a second...”

He set her back down, planting her on her feet, but she clung to his she clung to his neck and eventually they slid to their knees on the wooden floor.

“We can stop,” Naruto said, planting light kisses on the side of her neck. Apparently he was trying to drive her insane.

“No way,” she said, pulling away to see his face. She had never seen that expression before; he was heavy lidded, almost tired looking, but there was a glaze to his eyes, almost a shine. She had no idea how to describe it; she had never seen anything like it before. Neither animal or human.

Or is this just what Naruto looks like when he’s really really... amorous, she wondered. It was a laugh worthy thought, but seeing him in the moment, there was nothing funny about it. It was one thing when they were kissing and her eyes were closed, but it was a little overwhelming meeting it face to face.

She must have shown something because under her gaze, his expression turned kinder, softer. He smiled apologetically.

“Sorry I was, uh... too much. I guess I... well... We can take it slow, or take it nowhere. Or take it out to eat or take it to a movie or something. That’d probably be the proper way to do this.”

Sakura laughed and he looked sheepish.

“Are you kidding me?” She finally said, “We’re not taking it anywhere except maybe the bedroom, if we can make it that far.”

He grinned, a wide, slightly evil smile and he looked like himself again. 

“I love you,” she said. It felt like she couldn’t say it enough. 

“I love you,” he replied roughly, and lunged in for another kiss. 

But this one had more control. Sweet and lingering. When they broke, he grabbed her hands and slowly pulled her to her feet. He cleared his throat, “I’ve actually never been in Ino’s house before. And Shikamaru and Chouji live here, too?”

“Yeah. They’re dating, actually.”

“Shikamaru And Chouji?!” he exclaimed.

Sakura laughed, “No! Shika and Ino.”

Naruto laughed, “That actually makes less sense. Shikamaru and Chouji are inseparable. I always wished...”

He trailed off and Sakura knew he was about to mention Sasuke. 

“It sounds like me and you. Well, for the most part,” Sakura said, then amended, “I wish we could have trained together more.”

“We will. Every day if you want,” he said, taking her hand and holding it to his face, “Just promise to go easy on me every now and then.”

“Never. Now,” she said, pulling away her hand to grab his, “Since you’ve never been here, Would you like a tour?”

“Heeh? A tour?”

“Sure. Follow me,” She said, pulling him along by the hand until she suddenly stopped and spun toward him in the dim light of the living room windows.

“Well, you already saw the foyer... sort of,” She said with a grin, “But this is the living room.”

She bent down to take off her sandals.

“Really, we’re being bad guests of Ino’s, leaving our shoes on in the living area and all.”

Naruto followed her lead and hastily removed his as well before tossing them in the direction of the entry way. Sakura left hers where they were and continued through the house.

“This is the informal eating area,” she said, pausing again to turn around and say, “It’s kind of hot, isn’t it? Let me take your jacket.” 

 

“Huh? Ok...” he said, unzipping the garment and handing it over. She tossed it on to a chair and kept walking on into the kitchen.

“This is the kitchen, where Chouji creates a lot of food out of very few ingredients. He says he wants to knock this wall out and expand it into the backyard, but Ino is pretty keen on maintaining her garden space.” 

As she spoke, Sakura casually peeled away her vest to reveal her fishnet undershirt. It was so casual, in fact, that Naruto did a double take as it hit the floor.

“Maybe I should turn on the lights,” he said, his voice overly casual, “I can barely see and this is a tour, right?”

“Mmm, maybe. Through here is the formal dining room,” she said, just as Naruto flipped on the lights of the kitchen. “They’re trying to buy more chairs and Ino wants a dining room table that was more like her parents, but I think it’s nice,” Sakura said, leaning against the table as she slipped off her netted undershirt before blinking innocently at Naruto “Aren’t you hot?” she asked.

Naruto, who was feeling all over the wall for the light switch, replied, “Of course I am!” a little too seriously. Sakura held back her laughter though.

“Maybe you should take off your shirt,” she said as she sauntered out of the room just as the lights came on. She didn’t look back, but she heard the sound of fabric hitting the floor.

“This is the hall. Almost all of the other rooms are connected to- h-hey! Naruto!”

“Where’s your room?” he asked as he locked his arms around her from behind, his mouth against her ear.

“Excuse me. I believe I was in the middle of a thing, here.”

“You were teasing me,” he said and his gravelly voice made her shiver, “You’ve been teasing me for ten years. I want you.” As he spoke, he slipped his hands over her bare stomach and into her bra, cupping her breasts. His fingers found her nipples and pinched them lightly. Sakura felt her knees go weak. “I want that. The gasping, the moans. I want you to scream my name.”

“N-Naruto... ah,” Sakura wasn’t sure what she was going to say, but it was cut off by one of his hands traveling lower, inching into the space between her pants and her body.

“Where’s your room?” he asked again.

“It’s… that’s one,” she said, pointing to the slightly open door at the very end of the hall. He removed his hands from her and turned her to him, kissing her hungrily, nipping her lips, kissing the sides of her mouth when she needed to breathe.

With a quick motion, he lifted her in his arms, still kissing her as he carried her to her room. When he released her lips to find the bed, she clung to him, kissing his neck. She thought she heard him make some sort of purring noise, and he paused before he laid her down on the bed.

As he laid her down, she arched up to remove her bra. He watched her with those same lidded eyes that she was almost embarrassed to meet after she threw the offending garment to the side. Rather than fuel him back into his wild kissing and pawing like she expected, he seemed to want to do nothing but rake his eyes over her.

“You don’t have to stare,” she finally said, although it was more of a whisper.

“You have no idea how many times I imaged this,” he said softly.

“I do too, pervert.”

“You really don’t,” he said, taking his hand and stroking from the base of her breast up to her nipple, watching the slight wobble with something like awe on his face.

“Still, you’ve seen naked women before. Probably more with Ero-senin as your teacher,” she complained, although there was no real heat to it as his administrations were making her lose focus. He had employed both hands to press her breast together, his thumbs circling the stiff nubs until she could hardly stand it.

“But not you,” he said, and lowered his head to slowly lick her. She couldn’t argue with that- she could barely think as it was. As long as he didn’t stop, she didn’t care what he did.

He moved down her body without her being quite aware of it, at least until he removed her pants and underwear in one easy movement. After tossing them to the side, he placed his hands on either side of her thighs, even as she protested.

“Wait! I’m probably sweaty and we’ve been making out for like two hours and… and…”

The first lick of his tongue made her arch completely off the bed. His hands came down on her stomach to hold her in place and she was fairly sure she heard him growl as he licked her again. The noises she made, well, she wasn’t even what kind of noises they were, other than they might have been kind of loud. But he was tearing them out of her, her whole body was shaking, sweating. The hand that was holding her leg had disappeared and it was all she could do not to clamp her legs shut over his head from pleasure that was almost painful.

She wanted it to stop, and for it to never stop, and right as she was decided that couldn’t take much more, the waves came over her and she screamed.

“Ah! Wait! Please!” she said, twitching as she came down and his tongue was still on her, though slow and soft and entirely too good. She pushed herself away, farther up the bed and he rose. She hadn’t realized it, but at some point, he had gone to his knees on the floor. When he stood, she saw he had already freed himself from his pants. His hand was stoking himself casually as he stared down at her. She held her arms out to him and he came to her, kissing her deeply.

She wiggled against him, trying to get situated, one leg between his and he groaned slightly.

“Are you alright?” he whispered, staring down at her.

“More than alright. Are you ok?”

He chuckled, “More than ok.”

She wriggled again, freeing her legs to wrap around his. She pressed against him and he froze, his face almost pained.

“I want you,” she said. All of the shyness of saying those kind of words, the awkwardness of being naked, had all left her. She had just had more pleasure than she even knew existed and the thought of any more almost made her faint, but this was more than that. She wanted to be with him. To be as close as two people could be.

“Are you sure?” he asked, barely able to open his eyes against the feeling of her pressing against him. In response, she reached between them and placed him against her entrance. With her feet against the back of his thighs she slowly pushed him in to her.

He grunted. She could feel the muscles on the side of his back clench where she was holding onto him. He was inside of her, all the way. She ground her hips against him, the sudden feeling of being full and wanting more, but he quickly pulled away and she was empty again.

He leaned over her panting, holding her down with one hand and touching himself with the other. She felt warm liquid hit the base of her stomach before he slumped on to her shoulder.

When his breathing slowed, she asked, “Are you ok?” 

“Yeah. I was afraid that might happen. Give me a second,” he said, taking deep breaths against her neck. She played patterns against his back with her nails, enjoying his closeness, when he suddenly sat back up with start and a grunt, staring into her eyes with an odd glare in his eyes.

“Are you ready?” he asked, hooking his arms under her knees and until she was slightly raised against him, her legs spread and his shaft pressed to her folds.

Sakura nodded, slightly more nervous than she was before after the brief pause. She had been in a strange sort of pleasure altered state before, but now she felt a little awkward as he pressed himself against her.

He looked down at her and stroked his hands along the tops of her thighs, “Breathe,” he said with light in his voice, “Relax.”

She wasn’t sure if we was talking to her or himself, but she did as he said, taking a long deep breath. She hadn’t finished filling her lungs when he slid inside her with one easy movement that made her scream.

He stopped, “Are you ok?”

“Yes, you just… surprised me. Keep going,” she said, reaching out to his arms and pulling him against her chest.

It felt good, but also kind of strange. Sometimes, he would move against her in just the right way and it felt so good that she could barely catch her breath. Sometimes she he would shift his position slightly and she’d catch her gasp for an entirely different reason and she’d have to stop him and wiggle back into a more comfortable angle. But every time she opened her eyes, he was staring down at her, watching her face. The last time she opened her eyes, he smiled and kissed her, his body rubbing against hers as her legs spread against the mattress and his thighs against hers. They both groaned into the kiss.

“Like that,” Sakura said.

Naruto grunted again, repeating the motion.

“I’m close,” he said. Sakura heard him, but couldn’t respond as his thrusts were filling her in way that felt insanely good and hurt a little bit at the same time. He suddenly pulled out and she watched him, his face close to her, his hand moving between them and she felt him come once more.

He collapsed to his elbows and rolled to the side, grabbing her by the shoulder and taking her with him until she was cuddled at his side through no will of her own. Not that she was complaining. If he hadn’t have moved her, she probably wouldn’t have been able to. But now she was able to curl one leg against his, rest her head against his chest.

Naruto seemed to be beyond noticing though, his hand over his eyes, still breathing like he had just run one hundred laps around the village.

“Are you ok?” Sakura asked, her hand resting over his heart where she could feel the pounding slowly starting to wear down.

“No,” he gasped, “I think you killed me.”

She snorted, “Same to you. I think I was only a few seconds away from starting to see visions of the afterlife.”

She saw him grin and uncover his eyes. “You did look pretty out of it,” he admitted, “How do you feel now?”

“Good. Sore. Happy,” she said, then covered a big yawn with the back of her hand.

“I wasn’t too rough?” he asked, a little uncertain.

“I don’t think so. I think it’s just because it was my first…” she looked up and saw him nod, biting his lip, but unable to contain the big smile on his face.

“Oh shut up! It was your first too.”

“I know,” he said, bending down to kiss the top of her head, then immediately flopping back to his pillow, “Eh, I’m dizzy.”

“I know. My ears were ringing before. In any other scenario, these would be some serious symptoms.”

“Nnn. I’m sorry you’re sore. Next time will be better. I mean, if you want… uh…”

“I think better would be physically impossible. And I do want a next time. Lots of them. Even if it means I start communing with the spirits,” she said.

Naruto hugged her tightly and she squeezed him back.

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

** ** **

 

A/N: I finally earned my rating! But the credits ent rolling yet, my bebs. Nono. We’ve still got quite the slough. But at least now it’s a sexy slough! Woo!

But for those of you who are like, “WTF, where’s Sasuke I was promised F/M/M blarghreisabnufivpdfgkflds-“ Not to worry. That’s what I want too and we’re getting there. It’s just gonna take a second for him to stop being such a weird butt and get over some stuff. But it’s coming. 

Also, on an unrelated note, I’m going to try to reply to my reviews better! I… I’m just… I’m SHY! And then, if too much time lapses, I’m like, “Well maybe it’s too late to reply back? What’s the etiquette for this anyway?!” But (after I get over my initial fear that it’s going to say something awful) I read them all and am soo heppy that you guys think about my little story and are so kind about everything. I’m really too tender to write *sigh*, but I’m trying to get tougher, that’s why I’m gonna do goods and reply! Hooha! (That’s my replying to reviews battle cry.) (Also, sorry for the long author note.)


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